[[0033]] Day 10 of Self-Isolation

Things are changing quicker and quicker each day and I can't keep up. This virus truly does not discriminate.

Day 10 (I am a God, that is all)

Today's title might need some explaining.

I took apart a recliner. It was very heavy and much chonky. But I did it. Magic.

So as you're all aware, I am currently sorting out my house whilst I am off of work to protect myself from further kidney damage due to the big V (no it doesn't cause kidney damage but the effect it would have on my diabetes would result in further kidney damage). Anyway, sorting house. We moved this armchair upstairs last year when we thought we were going to flood (it was so close omg) and it has just been upstairs making our bedroom look smaller ever since.

So, today I got a screwdriver, tipped the bad boy over, managed to click it off its rusted hinges (old chair is oldddd) and then wriggled the back off and chucked it all on the landing to bring downstairs once the office is sorted. So yah, mission accomplished. I am rather satisfied at myself. And the fact my bedroom looks like a bedroom again and there is space for all the washing I am doing.

I did get a phone call from HR today, they thought I had symptoms, they didn't know I was off cos diabetes and underlying health condition that makes it difficult to breathe. I think I sorted that out though, although I think they are gonna try and find me work to do from home which will be interesting considering I am not really qualified to do the stuff beyond my department at work and I can't do my job from home because in involves patient notes... anyway, I decided to ring my doctors, which was actually a pleasant experience. The receptionist was so lovely to talk to, although she couldn't help because they are not dealing with Covid-19, which is fair, but we ended up having a massive conversation about everything, like she had heard Boris Johnson got it but she didn't know about the health minister Matt Hancock and stuff, then we both raged about how not enough people or staff are being tested (which I believe is changing next week) and finally, she said, after I explained my health conditions, that I should be getting a letter because 3 million are being sent out including high risk of severe illness, and if not, gave me the info to make sure I get one and that if I don't feel safe at work because of Covid-19, to remain off until safe, because she would rather we had a healthy NHS worker back and not a dead or severely more sick one (cos it would ruin my kidneys and I would need dialysis or transplant). Either way, I think the receptionist was just happy to talk to someone, and hear my cat meowing insistently down the bloody phone. Stupid cat. She stopped meowing when I got off the phone. 

Honestly, today has been really good and the nice actions I am seeing done for people by others really restores my faith in humanity and lifts my spirits.

First, the #clapforcares and #clapforNHS last night. I didn't think anyone would go outside down my end and I wanted to film it incase anyone did. I took a cigarette outside to smoke whilst I waited and noticed a window on the other side of the road opening and looking out. I didn't think anyone was going to clap, but then I heard it, and omg it made me tear up a bit! I might not be at work at the moment, but I am so glad I work for the NHS... I don't think we will ever see a moment like this again if I am honest, but I am glad that I got to be a part of it. Heck, my other half heard all the clapping as he left work at 8pm too. A proper big moral boost for everyone who is a carer or in the NHS right now. 

Secondly, I got a message from my landlady today... they're halving our rent due to everything going on at the moment. I had messaged last week to say I may be off for a time and funds will be reduced but I never expected this... again, such a massive help and a mood lifter, I am so so so grateful right now.

Thirdly, we don't have a car to go food shopping, but, thanks to some ideas on FB and a long time friend who I've not seen for an age but miss, we now have a plan to get a decent lot of food shopping on Sunday: the other half will go buy it and the friend will bring it back to me waiting at home. And means I get to see a friend for the first time in a week, in person, from a distance. I am so thrilled.

It's amazing, the amount people are willing to help one another at a time like this, whether helping in the community or on the front lines, to working in shops and so on. It's amazing. It is a shame that it has taken a pandemic for this to happen, but maybe this was needed for us all to stop being so cynical and restore all of our faith in humanity. Who knows. Heck, this virus does not discriminate, maybe we should all now stop discriminating too? Just a thought either way.

Nonetheless, it is now less that two weeks till my birthday. I am at a loss at what to do. I'm not sure if I'll be home on my own in the day or if my partner will be home. I know I won't be seeing my friends or family. The trip to London has been cancelled for a week now and the gig is now confirmed cancelled everywhere, just waiting for refunds. Can't go to town to buy stuffs. Not sure if I'll have a cake. But its okay, because I do what us all to kick this virus' lil butt to hell and (not) back.

I'm trying to not be sad about everything cancelling after the half a year I have had with bad news left right and centre. I still want something awesome or amazing to happen to make up for all the bad that has been plaguing me for ages now. But, what can I do? I just have to keep on going. Because there genuinely is not anything I can do at this point, there is nothing anyone can do.

I may treat myself to a nice shop on EMP or merchoid, or buy some Lego to play with. That might cheer me up.

Heck, it's just another day haha!!!

OH YEAH, I've had good blood sugars ALL DAY! FINALLY!!!

Anyway, thats it for now guys.

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0014]] Being prepared for an unexpected emergency on the train

I honestly did not know what to call this post, like, technically I helped to save a life but that felt a bit too extreme for a title as it wasn't all me, so hopefully this will do and hopefully sum up this post nicely!

Me and the other half were travelling for our long awaited get away to London last Wednesday 5th Feb via train, as we normally do. Normally on my trips to London, especially on the train, I end up grinning like a loon as we pass the Emirates Stadium and then go through the last big tunnel before you hit King's Cross. Many of you don't know, but I was born in London and I am always at my most happiest when I get to go back there because deep down, I know it is where I belong and where I wish to end up in my future, somehow.

Don't get me wrong, I was smiling as we were pulling into London but that suddenly changed drastically as there was a little bit of commotion a few seats behind us. And in all my time as a type 1 diabetic (27 years to be precise) I have never ever been in a situation like this before, and it was quite terrifying and scary. But at the same time, I was so glad that I had started to carry around an emergency hypo and diabetes travel kit as that suddenly became very damn useful. 

So, we were travelling on the 10.49 (delayed by a couple of minds) LNER service from Peterborough to London King's Cross on Wednesday 5th November 2020, about an hour trip or so. Me and Jake were sat together as per usual, I was listening to my Dir en Grey potential set list playlist to get me in the mood for the gig we were going to later on that evening. I think at the time, I was starting to pack my bag up to get ready to grab cases and get off of the train when a lady suddenly yelled that we needed a nurse or someone with medical experience to help an elderly gentleman, who I later found out had spat and growled at her as she walked down the carriage. 

Normally, I avoid drama, but I guess working in a hospital has changed me a little bit, even if it is just a clerical role. Me and Jake started looking around and thankfully a woman (who I think was a nurse) said she had medical experience and came running down the train. 

Me being me, I was ear wigging the conversation between the ladies and the not-okay gentleman, and I guess like spider-senses tingling, I heard a lot of talk of low blood sugar and insulin, so I looked at Jake because I needed to do something, and rifled through my bag to pull out the pack of Dextros we had got for the trip, climbed over Jake and went to give them to a man who was sat behind the elderly gentleman, I think he was trying to keep him propped up. I said they could have them, I could always get more but that I hoped they would help, so I went to sit back down because I know hypos can be terrifying for the person experiencing them. 

They managed to get him to take some Dextros but then the nurse was asking if anyone had a sugary drink... no-one on the train did, which in a way, is understandable because it was the end of the line, but I had my emergency one in my bag, so I got that out and took it down to them. I got a good look at the table of the elderly gentleman at this point, and I could see his insulin on the table, and as I went to sit back down, it made me wonder what had happened to make this man have such a bad diabetic hypo on his travels and the main and only thing I could think of was that he thought his blood sugars were high and did some insulin... and it turned out they were low. I am sure there could be other reasons but it's the only one I could think of at the time. 

We drew up to London eventually. The last I heard was that his blood sugars were 5.2, which is much better, but... he was still growling and spitting so worryingly, it seemed his sugars could go down again. I annoyingly didn't have any long acting carbohydrates on me, as I don't tend to take them for hypos unless I am at home or they are in my lunch box, so after this experience, I decided to change up my hypo supplies a little bit, just in case this happens to someone else (or myself) in the future. 

On the left, you can see my new, updated emergency hypo kit! A couple of bottles of Lucozade (which I have to drink I lot of for a hypo since they lowered the sugar content, however, not everyone likes the energy drink I like for treatment so I opted to change it out, plus the elderly gentleman didn't seem to be a fan when they rubbed it on his gums) and I also added some new cereal bars for some long acting carbohydrates, and they are very tasty! I also managed to find the lemon flavour of Dextros tablets when I was in London too, so I was more than happy to add that flavour to my kit (which on that note, does anyone know if they still make the Lucozade version of the sugar tabs or if tropical flavour still exists?).

We got to London and made sure we were the last to get off the train. They managed to get some train staff alerted and I believe an ambulance was rung for the gentleman so I felt there was no need to hang around, it wasn't my place too and I had done all I could. We did see the daughter (I think) of the medical professional and told her that her mum(?) was amazing for doing what she was doing and stuff. 

We then went outside and I waited for all the events to hit me in the face (as per usual, yey mental health) and honestly, over two cigarettes and listening to Hyde's cover of "Ordinary World" on repeat (to help me calm), I sat and thought about everything that happened. 

It might not sound terrifying in the way I have written what had happened, but... it has made me think a lot about how my own hypos will be in the future. I obviously do not know this man (I think he was called Bryan) and I don't know what other medical problems he may or may not have, but, I have only ever had a couple of hypos where I've not exactly been myself, but nothing like what I saw on the train. Will I be like that in another 20 or so years, or will I maybe lose my hypo awareness and not even realise I am having said hypos. I am already spending a lot of my time at the moment, fighting to keep myself happy and sane and not let the diabetes control and future get to me, but I won't deny that it truly is starting to eat away at me, as I fight for both control and yet to not be ruled by my health condition. 

But those thoughts are for another time.

The medical professional did amazing and if I was her daughter, I would be so proud of her. I also hope that Bryan is okay after everything that happened to him on the train, and that he was/is being well looked after. 

I don't know if this blog post will ever reach the people that helped or the elderly gentleman I gave the hypo supplies too... but, I hope it does nonetheless! My thoughts are with everyone that was there and helped, even those who helped that I have not mentioned.

I will always make sure I have my hypo and diabetes supplies on me from here on out, and I kinda hope that I may have convinced some of you to put a can of sugary drink or some Dextros tablets in your bag in case you see a Diabetic in need of some help in the future!