[[0060]] Day 51 of Self-Isolation (The outside world is WEIRD)

Day 51 (and I guess 50 as well as this is a two for one)

Evening everyone!

Queenie calling in after another interesting couple of days in the diabetes world. Oh boy, it's been another emotional roller coaster that yet again, I did not sign up for.

It's been... interesting... and it shows me how much my diabetes is affected by my emotions and so on because jeez, my bloods react to ANYTHING when it comes to emotions and it is honestly frustrating as hell. 

So, guess I should explain what has been happening?

I had to have my kidney blood tests again to see if the eGFR (kidney function) was stabilised or slightly improved with the 4mg blood pressure tablets. Seems simple, ya know, one vial of blood? HA nope. Not at all. (I believe I mentioned I would be going out for bloods in my last type 1 diabetes post yesterday).

So, I wrapped up warm, I drank about a litre and a half of water at home yesterday before heading out and had breakfast as well and everything was fine. Like, got to the doctors and only had ten mins to wait for my appt and yeah, everything was absolutely fine. Went in, felt hydrated and warm... all was good. 

And then the bad thing happened. What is the bad thing? My blood said NO. My veins were a fat (technically they're tiny but you get the idea) NO. even my hands and wrists said NO which is funny cos can usually get it out my wrists.

So what happened? Well, I was in the room for 45 minutes, and the lovely nurse tried a good three times and couldn't get the blood, we even warmed my hands under boiling water, as well as holding a glove full of water and the blood just would not happen. So, she called in a lovely guy named Ian (he's like a doctor but not I think) and he gave it a go, a solid three times, and nothing. He even went for my wrist and that didn't work. Ian came up with an idea of maybe drinking and hydrating more then trying again in 20mins, so, I went and sat in the waiting room for 20mins, drank 9 cups of water, which I think equates to another litre and a half of water, maybe more. There was a guy in the waiting room, bless him, who should have been seen at 9:10am but wasn't seen until half past because of me so I obviously apologised profusely haha! I get called back in... the nurse tries twice again and nothing... and one of my other fave nurses, Carol, came in and she tried and just nope. Prodded nine time with needles in one day and I was totally done. I think they could see I was so damn frustrated about it all plus I don't wanna go to the hospital for bloods at the moment so I know they did everything they could. I think I was just major mad at myself for my body just being an ass.

I think I have written about this before tbh. I have always had a bit of a problem with having blood tests and have done for the last couple of years, maybe a bit longer, maybe like 8 years? And I always joke that I should not be diabetic cause I can't seem to handle a simple blood test. I think it just largely upsets me (hence my facebook rant about it yesterday) because I do honestly try so hard before my blood tests, by drinking loads, wrapping up warm and like, exercising my hands and arm to get the blood running but... it just never seems to work. The only thing that does work is this one woman at the hospital in haematology, I don't know her name, but she can always get it out of me and normally it's around 3 or 4pm... but no way am I waiting in haem right now, no way. 

I got home anyway, and I just felt terrible. I think I went into shock as well after being stabbed by so many needles (which is hilarious because I don't mind blood tests in the slightest, the colour of blood to me is fascinating) but like, my bloods shot up, I went kinda clammy and I think I just went to bed because I was honestly just so done with everything for that one day.

The nurse booked me to come in today, well, double booked me with my other two favourite nurses, Carrie and Gina whom I absolutely love so much. (Turns out we should have waited a week but oh well). Carol also said, doesn't matter how sunny it is, layer up loads and drink even more... so, that is what I did today, as well as some exercise on Just Dance beforehand.

So the first two pics haha! So I went to the surgery yesterday in a tee and a fluffy hoodie... and today? It was a tee, a hoodie and my fluffy coat for seeing Skindred. And some thermal socks and my super warm trainers. I. WAS. BOILING. Like so bloody boiling, I was sweating and I could smell myself, it was absolutely grim. Thankfully, I didn't go through the waiting room this time... which I will explain.

I got to the surgery an hour and ten early today... because the buses are crazy right now. Usually the number 1 is every half an hour but it is now it's one every 45mins, then 1hr 15mins... so I either got to the surgery an hour and ten early or ten mins late... so I went early. Figured, there is a bench behind the surgery on some grass so I could grab some lunch and more water and just wait till I needed to be seen... but I actually bumped in to one of my nurses, Gina, and she said if Carrie was free, they would try and get me in earlier. They didn't disappoint either, I was in at dead on 1pm instead of 1:30pm! Carrie came out in her PPE finery and called me in through one of the back entrances to the surgery, queue both nurses giggling as I said I had never been in the back way before haha!

Speaking of going in the surgery... it was weird yesterday. Like, the buses are still observing their protocols that I mentioned on day 16 of self-isolation. But I hadn't seen my surgery until yesterday. They've moved two rows of chairs in the waiting room, you can't really talk to the people on reception unless you hover for a bit and you have to ring a bell to get access to inside providing you have an appointment as well. Everyone is in masks n stuff and yeah, it's both weird but cool how my surgery has adapted to the big virus. But yeah, today I went through the back way, well, through a fire exit that went into like a sink, cleaning nurse station thing into the nurses room haha, I felt so naughty haha!!

I did think things were going to fail. Carrie managed to draw blood but the blood wouldn't do what it was meant to do and go down the tube/into the syringe. She tried three times though, and ended up calling in Gina to have a go. We had all been laughing and joking about the whole thing anyway, just because my body is an arsehole and why is there no like rules for being diabetic of which one should be being able to have a blood test nice and easily with decent veins haha!!!

Thankfully, Gina had a feel and got it first try, and OMG I was so happy I could have cried. She managed a decent vial as well which was a bonus too.

She did say a few things though... as I have always been curious as to why my bloods have got worse over the years. And honestly, no-one really knows. But, it was an issue my gran had but no-one else in my family so could maybe be investigated if it continues to be an issue. ANYWAY, we agreed that next time, they should wait a week to do more bloods so that my veins have time to recover from being poked so many times, which I can see where she was coming from because I feel that Carrie would have got the blood first time had my right arm not been stabbed to death yesterday. Like the blood was there, but my veins supposedly have this ability to collapse/close up when a needle appears, which you can imagine, is frustrating as hell. It could also be potentially kidney related, what with the microvascular system being very closely related to kidney health and function... so the best and only thing that can be done is to wait till the afternoon for bloods at my surgery and also to drink wayyyyy too much. (Also, my blood is far too thick for a solid 3-4 hours after waking up, which with small veins, is a problem).

Anyway, they got the blood. I was happy. I have not felt this good in a while. And hopefully, its the last of the needing bloods for at least a month and half, well, June sometime, whenever my next renal appt is. I won't lie, I crashed for four hours, so maybe the onslaught on my veins does actually make me feel not okay even if I don't mind the blood tests themselves... but either way, it is blood damn well done, finally (lol). 

So yeah, emotional roller coaster. Thank God for my mental health calendar, the fact the coop in BBH had one box of my fave monster and well, my anti-depressants. I do feel like I could have been so much worse, but lately, I seem to have this uncanny ability to bounce back after a few hours, which I never used to be able to do. It makes me wonder if it is because I am not at work and stressed out therefore I am actually focusing more on myself and my needs and well, learning about how I work, I don't know. I feel like yesterday should have broken me and if I am honest, if they hadn't got the blood out today, I think that probably would have broken me as well, but it all worked out in the end so thank God we didn't have to wait and find out if I was gonna freak out. Either way, I still think this is the best my mental health and diabetes has been for years. Maybe I am meant to be an at home kind of work person? I don't really know.

It's given me stuff to think about anyway.

Before I sign off, I want to show you a ring that my amazing keyworking other half got for me cause of, well, all the stuff going on at the moment. 

"Keep (fucking) going."

Never have truer words been said.

That is it from me tonight! Time to share the heck out of this blog and get that view count up again!!! One day I will get adsense on this account, ONE DAY!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0057]] Day 42 of Self Isolation

At least I think it is day 42? It has been a while and I would like to say I have been busy... well, as busy as I can be given circumstances I guess haha! The days are drifting into weeks and months and now I think I have definitely hit the limp week feeling between Christmas and New Years!

Day 42 (It is nearly the end of week 6!) 

Afternoon friendos and apologies for disappearing again alas, now that most of the tidying is done, there isn't really much to update. Like, nothing is changing or any different, the same old really is the same old each day and just yeah, bar wanting to kill my neighbours on a daily basis because they are so damn loud, I am doing alright. 

I have in all fairness, got a lot of things to distract me at the moment which is a good thing, not always, but for how the world is at the moment, distractions, I feel, are okay.

Like my advent calendar for example. It's on day 21 at the moment so it is nearly over but fear not, I selected my new one yesterday and the 80th Anniversary Marvel Pop Vinyl calendar is coming at the end of the week so that, I am super stoked about (I watched an unboxing video and saw Dr Strange in it which insta sold it to me straight away!).

The doors with the current one have been a pleasure to wake up to though, just check out the goodies over there haha! Another cute stamp for when I hope I can eventually write letters and send cards, a Ravenclaw pin (which I believe will be commandeered by my other half), another patch I'll probably stick on my office wall and my favourite, the two vinyl wristbands, of which the black one I am going to wear the heck out of because I love anything Marauder's Map!!!

Speaking of goodies, my parcel from NeoTokyo arrived yesterday as well, my second Jrock LP! And my, it is actually beautiful! (And yes, we have a vinyl player...)

LOOK AT IT!! The album is fab on it's own but as an LP, it's stunning. I am actually in love. I think I am going to move the vinyl player into my office for a bit the next couple of days so I can listen to some good old vinyl magic whilst the other half is at work! It also looks bloody fantastic next to my Dir en Grey LP as well... and I do hope Ganshin keep producing these LPs for awesome Jrock stuff cos omg, I am such a sucker for things like this.

I may not be seeing MUCC this year, maybe next year, but at least this and there little TV youtube spot partially makes up for it! (Roll on tomorrow for week 6 with Yukke cos damn am excited for that new album). 

I actually bought myself something to help me exercise as well. I have been thinking about this for while because I struggle to get motivated to exercise, but I do game everyday. I also used to love games like Just Dance and stuff and I know I can work up a sweat playing them, so I figured I'd get the new one for Switch and it came today, just in time for week 7 of lockdown and 7 is a good number for me. It's a positive change that I do hope will help me out... plus I used to dance a lot when I was younger anyway and I was much fitter back then. SO here we go! I hope it works. Gonna exercise slow in the beginning cos don't want to overdo my poor heart and its hypertension but hoping to ease into a good hour work out five days a week which I hope is enough for me to get a little bit healthier, what with the healthier meals that I have been eating of late too. After all, I am getting old now so... kinda need to put some extra effort in! Plus, saw a couple of Kpop songs on here too, like 2NE1 and others, and I can get a free month membership to unlimited which I may abuse for songs I like haha!!! So who knows, maybe in the next five weeks, I might start looking a bit more like I want to! Or at least feeling a bit healthier in myself.

I have ordered a couple of other things... well, the NHS Skindred tees because... well... it just had to be done. I ordered a massive one so I can wear it like a dress with my future Benji Webb coat and shades. I cannot wait till October to see them here on my home turf again! Love Skindred so damn much. I'm looking into finding a cool fluffy black coat as well as the spikey shades which I have found on ebay and now that MCR is postponed till next year, gives me a lil more freedom to get a few more bits I wouldn't normally be able to get.

I have decided, since talking to the other half, that I am going to try and reach out to our neighbours next door to our neighbours as they have been having problems too with well, the bad neighbours. We've both contacted the landlord and it has done nothing, so we suspect dodgy letting. Can we get the police out on that? Either way, the lady who is also having problems also suffers with mental health stuff so I can completely relate to her at this moment in time as I don't like living every damn day next door to rude arseholes. So, watch this space for the updates on that. I am not sure how I can help but I will try because I know I am definitely suffering with their bull crap.

I guess, I am going to go back to the drawing grind now, which is why I am writing this post in the afternoon and another reason why I am not posting as much. Got a big project under way for streaming channel stuff, so be sure to check out my art page for updates as and when they happen, Aluria Arts. 

You can check out this blog post for links to other digital work I have done too Pokemon Art Work Here! MY skills are increasing each and everyday so fingers crossed commissions can be opened up digitally soon to help pay off the laptop and buy new art things... so as per usual, watch this space!

Anyway, time to art!

Over and out, mes amigos.