[[0047]] Day 24 of Self-Isolation

I am literally made of cookie today. 

Day 24 (Keep calm guys, it's another Friday lockdown).

Not really a lot to report today, like, seriously. Nothing much to report. 

So, have a Pom in a box... cos why not?

I did actually go and chill with her in her lil room today (Magnus is still not using the room, bitch cat). I just lay next to her on her bed and gave her lots of fusses and tummy rubs and it was honestly such a nice half hour. I might do this more often if I start getting angsty and stuff with being stuck in the house. She did help my heart rate settle (I'd been walking up and down the stairs moving furniture so I couldn't breathe.).

Gotta love cats.

Other than that, today has honestly been a quiet day. Did my morning ritual of Animal Crossing maintenance and paid off an incline to my memorial garden, then set about doing some rescue missions on Mystery Dungeon whilst I ate lunch, which was a breeze cos yey auto mode! Played it some more other dinner to get my rank up and increase mon storage as well as got some more camps on the off chance a Pokemon I like decides to come over so... all in all, a successful mini game day.

I think we are gonna be playing some Jack Box games tonight with some fellow awesome friends, maybe some online Cards Against Humanity, so that should be fun and will be good to hear some different voices. Not sure how it will all work yet because my phone is not great at video calls, but will deal with that when I get to it.

I opened door number 3 on my calendar today as well!!! 

It was a cute little set of chibi Harry Potter phone stickers so I may have to stic the Dobby on my phone at some point. I have also decided to collect all the gifts in one of my Harry Potter bags so I can show everything in one big picture when the 24 days are up. Still need to decide which calendar I am going for next... like jewellery is something I love but then mini pops for the Harry Potter shelf in the office when it is done. AHhhh, choices. But I have time to decide and won't need to order till payday so watch this space!

Finally, I am leaving this with this awesome T-shirt design by one of my all time fave bands, Skindred!!! They've put up these tees to help raise money for the NHS in this crisis. We have time to pre-order them, so gonna get two on payday in a couple of weeks, but... OMG I am so walking to work in this. I also love this band so damn much, they are honestly the most lovely people and I cannot wait to have them back on my home turf in October!!! Also, check this link and get yourself an awesome tee to help the NHS!!! Plus, listen to Skindred, follow their instas, they proper cheer me up when I am feeling blue at home through all of this!

Right guys, back to sorting out the office till drinky-poos and game night!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0038]] Day 15 of Self-Isolation

Time certainly flies when you're having fun... if tidying can be classes as fun...

Day 15 (We ain't out of the woods yet...)

If I don't do it today, then I will do it tomorrow, I figure I will order an advent calendar for last year to keep me amused each day I wake up as the pandemic continues. Come at me Harry Potter goodies, my body is ready.

Anyway, it's a quick one today as not much to report.

Mental health is still stable, thank goodness. Thoughts about it being my b'day next week are trying to ruin me but I am keeping me busy with the house so those thoughts don't trash my already unstable mental health.

Diabetes was meh this morning, but, I managed to get a good blood result, 6.7, before dinner so I am happy with that. I actually did some more cooking today, cheesy mash containing potato, broccoli, carrot, peas and cabbage and have plenty left over for the other half when he is home.

So, how are the cats?

Magnus is being Magnus and sitting by food bowls every time I smoke to get treats... fat cat is gonna get fat if I'm staying at home, I struggle to say no to her cos she so cute.

As for Pom Pom, she has been loving the cat room! Magnus hasn't been in it since I've done it but Pom has been all over it, whether cat tower, window cushion, mattress, pillows... she's a happy bean and that makes me happy too!

Now, what have I been up to? 

I started sorting the music room finally. It's taken me long enough. It doesn't look like I have done a lot but there is a lot of stuff now downstairs waiting to be sorted and either binned, displayed or put under the stairs so I am taking that as a win. 

There is a lot of stuff to go under the stairs though and I am sat here writing this and wondering how the hell we got it all under the stairs in the first place? Or am I shoving more stuff under there? I don't even know at this point.

What I do know is that my house has multiplied in duvets and I am not too sure what to do with them? We saved one for the cats, have the Summer one in the airing cupboard for Summer and then the one we have on our bed... why the hell we need 8 duvets I have no idea. We have four spare pillows as well so two have been chucked cos hella old... but seriously, how did I get 8 duvets? I know I moved in with three and I bought one recently because need thermal in this house, but the rest actually confuse me. Hopefully I can find a home for them but until then, under the stairs they go (and maybe put two in the skip).

Either way, it doesn't look like I have done a lot today but my back is pulled in so many different ouchy ways and I despo need to have a shower because carrying stuff up and down the stairs is damn hard work when your kidneys make it hard to breathe. Either way, it is a start and there is always tomorrow... maybe.

Have my ultrasound scan on my bladder and kidneys tomorrow so it is my first time out of the house for about two weeks. Don't worry, I'll social distance like a pro and avoid everyone like the plague, well, everyone but the staff doing the ultra sound, obvs. I will be getting buses which I am a tad worried about but... I need to attend this appointment so I can;t afford to miss it.

Oh well, my worries on that is a blog post for tomorrow.

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0037]] Day 14 of Self-Isolation

Good day is good. I am feeling good. For once, everything is actually GOOD.

Day 14 (Shiny new pretty things... what shall I treat myself to next?)

Good evening everyone and thank you for tuning in to another blog entry of my Self-Isolation diaries! I do hope they have been riveting and fun to read! So again, thank you for popping by again! We've hit two weeks now, and I am still not sure how much longer this will be for.

As a good friend pointed out to me after yesterday's very accomplished post, I have finally hit 1000 pageviews so again, another big and massive thank you to you all!!! I am doing every thing I can to get my blog out there and viewed and so forth so eventually I can earn using adsense on it, so all your pageviews, follows and so forth, really help me out on my mission!

If you saw yesterdays post, I mentioned that I gutted out the upstairs spare room to turn it into a cat room, that is only spare on the rare occasion we have guests. Well, an update for all my avid cat lovers out there, the room is in use, by none other than who I expected, Pom Pom. She loves a mattress and duvet on the floor, she doesn't care which mattress it is or what duvet (I did give them the best one tbh), I knew she would be all over that mattress and she is! She seems so happy up there, I have hardly seen her today! I just need to try and get Magnus to use it, her and Pom do get on, but Magnus seems to prefer the sofa, or this box in the office that needs to go, but I did get a new box today so she might like that instead, I hope.

So, I am going to speak about my diabetes first, because honestly, I am so proud of myself. I have two bloods at 6.8 and 6.9 today and I am thrilled, and my blood was 5.5 before lunch today as well. I did wake up with very high bloods, but that was my bad due to having a hypo before bed last night and then I did binge ate everything I could find. Basically, I smashed a pack of doritos and a bar of chocolate. 

But, I did a correction dose with my breakfast (which was only 30g of carbs this morning!) and my bloods were 5.5 before lunch, which was fantastic! 

So, what have I eaten today and how much have I medded? Well, breakfast is pictured left, which was banana and granola with greek yoghurt and a teaspoon of honey, so I did 10 units, because I have to do 3 units for the carbs, an extra 2 because its the morning and 5 was for correction. So come lunch, my bloods were 5.5 and I had two flatbreads with cheese and cucumber, a packet of sunbites and a miniroll as a treat, so that was about 65g of carbs, so I did 8 units of insulin. Before dinner my blood was 6.9 so tonight I had salad (lettuce, cherry tomatoes, red onion, cucumber and pepper) with a small baked potato (blasted in the microwave then crisped up in the oven) with cheese and butter as well as hard boiled eggs which I removed the yolks, added some garlic, herbs, paprika and pepper to and boom, stuffed eggs. This meal, can you believe it, is about 40g carbs, but there was so much food, so only 5 units were done.

All in all, I am loving the time I have free to make food at home at the moment and it is helping my diabetes a lot. I do also hope that it helps with my heart hypertension and kidneys but for me to see those effects, I need to continue to keep doing this kind of food, even when I am at work, so not too sure how I will manage that yet. Which reminds me, I need to ask the other half to pick up some plain cashew nuts and plain peanuts, and maybe some basa fillets, need to get my good cholesterol up and the bad down while I am at it. I want to live for as long as possible after all.

In other news, thanks to paying £1.70 for shipping, the parcel I ordered yesterday came today and it was so nice to have a treat. Also, kudos for the post man, for knocking on the door and waiting two metres away to see if I would answer. Nice to see social distancing in practice. Anyway, what did I order?

POKEMON CARDS! Haha, cos I am a big kid and honestly, I haven't bought any for a while so what better time to rectify this than now, especially as I have saved money on bus tickets for work. 

Found out Chaos Cards were still accepting orders so I hoped right on over and made a phat order. Well, kind of fat, I saved some money due to some discount codes and I couldn't get a bunch of just Sword and Shield base set boosters but I managed to order those from another site of which I am sure I will write about when they arrive (hopefully end of the week, but they haven't finished processing the order yet so God know's what is going on there).

So, what did I order for myself?

So, in my order, I got the Toxtricity V Collection Box, which came with an oversized Toxtricity V card and a regular sized version as well as two packs of Sword and Shield base set, a pack of XY Evolutions and Cosmic something or another (which I haven't collected so wasn't too fussed by), as well as two blister packs, with a promo Gossifleur and Wooloo and cute coins to stick up on my office was as well as a folder for the Sword and Shield base set which is so damn pretty. All in all, I am happy with what I got, and I honestly love how pretty the new cards are, some are so damn cute!

So, to the left are all the cards I got from the booster Sword and Shield packs. They gave  me so much joy and kept me busy as I organised them into their new home in their special folder as well as logging them on my online app to make sure I can keep up to date with what I do and do not have when I am out and about mon card shopping. 

I am awaiting 7 more booster packs from Magic Mad House as Chaos didn't have any boosters for sale as out of stock, so I am hoping I get some more good card pulls from them. I did actually get two nice full art cards from these packs which I am thrilled about and I have flicked through the list of cards in the set and there are soooo many pretty ones, I can't wait to see if I get them! 

I actually love how chilled and calm things are when I am sorting out and looking through my Pokemon cards. Like, so ridiculously chilled so I may have to get some more haha! I did actually take a moment to sort out the stray cards we had kicking round and put them into sleeves and their respective binders, but honestly, the boring and methodical case of putting the cards in order, pulling out doubles, slipping them into their appropriately numbered sleeve and then logging it on my app is just way too therapeutic. I even took a moment to look through all the cards I do have, none of the sets are complete, but some of the pages are and some full arts are really pretty, as well as some damn good rares as well, oh my gosh, I was so calm and happy and chilled that over an hour had slipped by and I realised I hadn't done any cleaning today!!! 

I noticed when I was looking on the website that it looks like another Sword and Shield set is up for pre-order and I'm not gonna lie, I am slightly tempted. I have loved the cards I got today so far, some of the artwork is cute as heck and I can't wait to see what the next set could look like. Either way, it was all so much fun and so exciting and I cannot wait till my next parcel arrives!

That being said, I have been looking online for things I could get for my birthday, and I found a couple of Advent Calendars that were Harry Potter for last year, full of jewellery and socks and stuff, and figured I could order one and open a door a day whilst I am in iso? Figured it would be fun, although I am not sure what the other half things.

The birthday is creeping nearer though, and, I am still not sure what to expect. I think, if I can guarantee I can get a Colin the Caterpillar cake (or the white choc one if its there), make sure there is food and drink in I like, make sure the streaming stuff is set up for birthday Animal Crossing and maybe Pokemon and then, I don't really know? I might just blow some money on my self but I have to be sensible which I why, bar what I have had arrive today, I haven't blown any cash and I can't exactly go in to town atm to smash my bank in Primark. Either way, it's over a week away, don't need to worry about it yet, there is always next year after all, or that is what I keep telling myself.

Selfishly though, and I apologise for the doom and gloom, but... I don't know if I can wait a whole year for a bang big celebration the way I wanted to do it, to make up for the last six months of hell I have been through with my health and the fact nothing is getting better with said health. I don't know if I can wait a year for something good to enjoy, have fun with, not give a care in the world about... I just, I just... want something to look forward to that is nearer and not so far away. I do feel like I deserve a break.

Anyway, that is it for today everyone!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0035]] Day 12 of Self-Isolation

Day 12 (I wonder what the news will be tomorrow... I'm guessing an even stricter lockdown?)

Good evening everyone! How is everyone doing? I realise I never ask this unless people speak to me first, alas, I hope you are all okay and thank you for coming by to read my daily posts!!!

I am going to do another blog with pictures. Because, the world prefers pictures to reading and to be honest, my reading bone has kinda gone, give me pictures, give me images, give me... really crap camera photos? Haha...

SO, today was the big food shop day!!! 

SO many bags of food, well, no more than normal for our fortnightly shop but we had to get a few extra bits in because of me being home a lot more and because I can't go to the shops whilst Jake is at work. I also got to see my friend today and her partner and OMG it was so good to see and speak to other people (no offence other half, I like talking to you too). Don't worry, we did social distancing throughout, and we managed to get all the shopping we needed and got it home safely too with no problems, so yey for a plan working out and coming together nicely!

I also have to cut down on salt in my food so we had to shop based around that, which the other half did so damn well, I am proud! I've tried to meal plan for when we are home together to eat together as well as for me when I'm on my own at home. We got some good fresh stuff in so I can do salads at home, which will definitely help me cut down on my salt intake. We have also got some decent things in for breakfast because sometimes, I am not great at eating breakfast because I get bored of it, so I have some alternatives which are also healthy and low carb to help me and my diabetes that way. Plus, I am doing my best to keep a routine to my days in the week, so I might prepare healthy lunched before bed or in the morning to keep me in control of my food and carb intake and help me work out my insulin ratios. It's going to be a lot to get used to, especially as I am a renown snacker to the max, especially when I am in the house all day, but, I am also a creature that likes control, so, if I can healthily control my food, it might help with my mental health whilst I am at home.

Speaking of food... I smashed dinner tonight!

Giant yorkies, Cumberland sausages, roasties and cheese mash, loads of fresh veggies and a lot of gravy. It's actually my first time attempting a kind of Sunday dinner, however, we both smash it cos we are heathens, but I already feel so much better having some fresh veggies for the first time in a while. 

That being said, somewhat related note, it was so nice to see the veg drawers full of fresh food today, as well as the cupboards and freezer stocked to, but it was the veggies that struck a note from me, because I don't actually remember the last time I filled the fridge with veggies!!!

SO, what else has been crack-a-lackin? 

More big house tidy up times! Or should I say, I think I finally conquered the problem of what to do with the last three rooms in my house that I wrote about last night. I figured, we can store mattresses in the spare room for when peeps stay over, chuck ALL the furniture out because it is not used and takes up space and finally deal with all the rubbish and items that don't need to be in there or just got left there and was never chucked away. I think so far, I have like 6 bags of rubbish, three-quarters of which aren't mine... but either way... I blocked myself in and had to get the other half to help me get out. Which was funny... because I tried to stretch to get out, my feet got no grip and I kinda did the first splits I have done in years, like, a good 20 years and ho damn it bloody hurt, I am still in pain now. I may have broken my vagina, I have no idea! But yeah, the photo is what I got stuck behind... now to chuck it all outside and wait for all this corona stuff to blow over so it can go to the skip.

Phew.

Other than that, it's been Animal Crossing and kitty cat cuddles, and it's all just perfect.

I'm not looking forward to next week and spending more time on my own again, but looking at the amount I have to do upstairs and organise downstairs, I think I have enough to keep me ticking over, and I know I'll be more inspired to art and write and read when all this is done and sorted. Tidy house, tidy mind.

Anyway my friends, keep safe, wash your hands, social distance, stay at home!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0034]] Day 11 of Self-Isolation

Contemplating the what-ifs, ands and buts is not my cup of tea. But, everything needs to be contemplated right now. Every damn, little thing. And I think that is what might make me crack.

Day 11 (Still swimming, we are still swimming...)

So, I think I will write about today in the form of picture, because everyone prefers looking at pictures. Especially cats, of which I have two. 

But today the focus is on our more recent addition, Pom Pom, who is beautiful and gorgeous and so soft and has the loudest purrs and may have cerebelum-hyperplasia mildly but its okay cos it just makes he more endearing. 

Look at her, seriously, she's so beautiful. Like a baby tiger in a adult cat body.

Like look at them eyes, so big and green and honestly, don't really convey emption too great, for the sheer fact I am pretty certain her only emotion is love love give me love I give you love too all of the love omg love me ooooo look at that dood handle it give good fusses love love love love.

I'm pretty certain that is how her brain works anyway, she looks kinda miffed in the photo but honestly, she doesn't know how to be pissed off at you, it honestly is not her nature at all. 

Oh and look at them long whiskers? They're so long and pretty and do not help her be a cat at all because she kind of sucks at it because there is nothing graceful about her at all, but it is so adorable and it makes me love her even more. 

So that be Pom Pom, we been chilling together today which is always nice and a pleasure from her because she does like her peace and quiet and her night time routine of pestering us in bed for fusses till we fall asleeps, or one of us moves suddenly so she goes to sit on the arm chair instead. But yes, appreciate this gorgeous beautiful girly who now has her furever home with us (I think we've had her for a year and a couple of months now and can't imagne our lives without her).

So, next.

Socks.

A LOT of socks.

As in, Queenie washed every single sock she could find because she likes to organise everything, especially when it comes to doing the washing.

HAHA yeah, so been tidying, as you all know, been sorting through washing and chucking stuff out and today came the day to organise all of our damn fucking socks. I lost count of how many pairs there were (A LOT) and even then, I didn't get them all because some of the nice socks have a friendo missing alas, I think I know where they are, I just need to get to them, which is coming.

Needless to say, after about two hours, the socks are washed, paired up, and put away... with a bag of socks to find friends for and another bag of socks going in the bin because they are holey as a sieve. But, it's done, finally, and all my warm sockos are washed and paired so I am happy about that cos damn my toes have been feeling the cold of late.

Jakey did a think today. Sorry, not Jakey, I mean K.K. Slider from Animal Crossing. We had to go get some food for today as we can't do a big shop until tomorrow, and he made out we had post... 

... I was expecting my NHS letter...

... but he brought me this card, to congratulate me on my new home on Animal Crossing, from K.K. Slider. It's that little bit of niceness and fun I didn't know I needed until it happened!!!

So what else have I got planned for today, considering this blog is being posted a little earlier than the norm. Well, I have been sat on the sofa for the last hour or so debating which room I will sort next. Because bedroom is basically done bar hoovering and clothes that need washing and putting away, the other half can clean the upstairs shower cos he uses it more than I, the bathroom is done bar mopping and clothes washing, living room is essentially completely done and the kitchen will be finished shortly by the other half. So that leaves spare room, music room and office. Of which I can't move the sofa from the office to music room until music room is emptied but can't move sofa up until the mattress on the office floor is dealt with but need to sort office to move the stuff from upstairs to office and I think I have finally hit a cleaning and organising brick wall.

I do however need to try and catch a stringfish on Animal Crossing before they leave so that'll keep me amused in the evenings until April I guess.

And I still haven't made a mental shopping list of what I wanna get myself for my birthday yet either, the only think I know I want is a Colin the Caterpillar cake haha.

Oh well, best get back to it. 

Enjoy this picture of me and my buddy, Pom Pom.

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0018]] Week 7 Overview - Diabetic Mini MOT and a touch of partial burnout

I have decided that I am going to start naming these weekly overview posts with one line that ultimately sums up the week. It is appropriate, fitting and very much me. And thinking of whacky names for overview posts, how about like, a rating system for the week overall, after all, some weeks are good and some are just a total burn out... LOL.

I guess, to start with something semi-good for the week. I finally have all the new medication requested for me from the Doctor at the hospital clinic. Not that it is his fault it has been a long wait, I didn't know I needed to call up to push things along a bit quicker. The candesartan I already knew about as that got added to my prescription not long after my Toujeo insulin was, but I had no news on what I was getting to replace Duloxitine. Thankfully, I got a phone call from my Doctor booked and he put me back on mirtazapine straight away and gave me what he called a really good neuropathic medication which is pregabalin. Only downside of the latter is I have to take it twice a day instead of once so it's a whole new thing to remember to do in the evening, but I think I am getting one of those pill dispenser things with times of day and days of the week on soon to help me remember to take them all at the appropriate times. 

Good thing about the new neuro meds is that I no longer feel nauseous all the damn time, which is fantastic as that has been plaguing me since I started taking duloxitine last year; the worst was the sickness every time I ended up in stop-start traffic after work on the bus home, especially when inconsiderate people would glare at me for the weird noises I'd make to stop myself throwing up. I also feel my foot pins and needles less with these meds too, which is another bonus; it doesn't feel like I am clenching something with my toes on my bad foot anymore. Bad thing about the pregabalin is that for some reason, my balance is becoming somewhat off and I seem to drift a lot more than normal; I already have a cracking bruise on my arm from walking into the racking in my office. 

You're probably wondering what the tablets not in a box are, and these, my good friends and family, are the happy sleep pills I had before they were also replaced with the two in one duloxitine. EVERYONE who knows me, knows how badly my sleep has suffered without these, and in turn, my mental health, which has honestly felt like walking on the edge of a knife for the last couple of months. Sleep isn't enough to make me feel better, as are the tablets but they help me keep some kind of bare minimum control on my mental health when things get rough, which they major have been of late. I still feel down and depressed a lot and I am still overwhelmed by the sheer amount of control good diabetes management is seeming to have on my life, but I have my sleep back and I can deal with the world a little bit better now I have these antidepressants back... even if I run the chance of sleeping in my alarm because well, not slept properly in months till now!!!

You are probably wonder what I mean when I mention Diabetic Mini MOT? Well, I lovingly got this name idea from the gentleman doing the diabetic eye screening on Friday morning, after I told him that I had a dietitian appointment after the eye screening appointment.

I cannot tell you much about the eye screening other than look how massive my bloody pupils were after the eye drops... as you can guess, I had to leave work because my vision was all blurry. I'll get the results in a couple of weeks I believe but I know it will be signs of retinopathy, either the same as last time or worse since I can't remember the last time I had an eye screening appointment but I have been stresses as fuck since. 

I saw my dietitian though and was able to tell her the good news about my new long acting insulin and tablets (it was thanks to her that I contacted the hospital diabetes team about new medication last year) so she was happy to see that change at last. You may also remember the highs at lunch time that I mentioned about in other blog reviews and I have been asked to try and do a couple units extra as I may be one of the diabetics that need more in the morning, so let's see how that one goes next week!! 

I was able to admit to her that I was getting extremely overwhelmed with the amount of carb counting every tiny gram of carbohydrate in my food was giving me and that I was terrified to the point where sometimes I just wouldn't carb count or I'd binge eat and do whatever meds to cope. It is still getting to me now as I do not what the diabetes to rule every littler thing I do, and maybe I am wrong and its the demons in my head again, but I feel like having good diabetes is monitoring every little thing, acting towards every little thing, counting every little thing, medding for every little thing and I honestly cannot cope with that right now, it's really difficult. I am however being booked on a three day carb counting course, so fingers crossed, that can help stop making everything so overwhelming for me. 

Because trust me, I am shattered. I keep having to escape A LOT so I just don't think about the future and what will become of me. Which has meant I have started obsessing worse than ever, on the Pokémon games since the new HOME version came out on Switch and Mobile and I just can't stay off it. I want to fill the national dex somehow, and I think the other half is helping me to try and achieve that which is awesome... but yeah, I ended up caught for two days and a half  completing the original Pokémon Moon game as I thought I had finished the dex and had the shiny charm and I was going to hunt shinies to chill out, and then I realised I made a horrible mistake, the dex was not finished, I still needed Cosmog and Solgaleo but I had sent my Lunala to HOME so couldn't get it back to get Cosmog. Queue my panic and flapping as I remembered that GTS was going down on the old games as of the 24th Feb... so I had to run around and catch all the Tapu's on both Moon and Ultra Moon and use one to trade on GTS for Lunala which I used to get my Cosmog, then I put Lunala in the GTS to get SOlgaleo and then I forgot I did not have all the Ultra Beasts, just Nihilego... so queue frantically trading Solgaleo for the UK Buzzwole, followed by trading an UB exclusive from MOON for a UK exclusive from Sun and I thought I had got them all but didn't realise Necrozma was in this one... so had to go get him too. And don't forget spending a good 6 hours trying to evolve to get my Silvally for the dex. 

All in all, the stress was worth it and I know avoidance is not the answer to my mental health cheating me out of a break, but this obsessing is giving me the chill out I need to stop my brain from thinking about everything and more all the goddamn bloody time I am awake or trying to rest. That being said, me and the other half have a plan for making the most out of the shinies and rares in the games to the point we have a plan to get further dex's filled for the shiny charms to hunt shinies and increase our odds (this  actually helps me get to sleep quicker cos hunting is so therapeutically boring)... we also have a plan to reply games to get more shiny fodder and so on as well... so that will keep me occupied until I get my occupational therapy counselling appointment that I so desperately need |OMG! (Also, can we appreciate me being a sucker for exclusive limited edition consoles, what with the Sun and Moon sleek as fuck 3DS and my Let's GO Pikachu and Eevee switch? They also make me happy, oops).

Also on the positive front... FAMILY TIME!!! Honestly, I do have the best siblings!!! Got to speak to Lola on the phone this week and as usual, I love my little mini more more and more each time I see her! I have also been informed she loves Panda's now so means I finally have a plan to get her something nice for her new bedroom, maybe some cushions and blankets or picture or all of the above!!!

It was also my step-brother's birthday this weekend too... little Wyatt is now three years old!!! We got him some cute gifts from The Natural History Museum when we went to London, and OMG he loved the lil Triceratops we bought for him and even asked to have it to take to bed with him too OMG so cute I cannot even ❤️❤️❤️

Can't forget Milo either... such a good brother OMG He actually came round again on Wednesday when Jake was at work and bought some amazing home made curry for us to have in wraps for lunch, he also bought some crisps and tasty drink which I so bloody needed what with being strapped for cash till pay day on Thursday!!! Cannot wait to see what amazing foods he will make next and obvs, cannot appreciate enough him coming over on Wednesday so I don't go bloody insane and depressed in the house on my own whilst Jake is at work so long. 

OH CHEESE!!! Last thing... my bestie Josh is so amazing. So so so amazing. We had a big chat about diabetes and the kidney stuff and he proper cheered my up and I honestly love how having a serious conversation with him inadvertently turns into discussing random things about said serious things, for example, ways to cook potatoes to remove the potassium (in case I cannot have potatoes as much anymore further down the line) because there has to be a way to have roast potatoes and mash with a roast dinner dammit! ALSO, he was so lovely and made it possible for me to buy some cheese and crisps, things I don't need to med for, and also after I had a mini freak out that the cheap mature chedder I had to buy was well... more orange like red leicester than mature chedder... thanks to Josh, I got some proper stuff, extra mature Cathedral City cheese and omg, heaven... so much heaven everywhere, my taste buds are invigorated and happy and full of tasty cheese goodness (also look at the pic of the two cheeses... since when was mature cheddar orangy?) I don't actually know where I would be without Josh sometimes... he always knows the right things to say, knows I love honesty even i it stings, knows how to make me laugh and smile... and our little chat and the purchasing of decent cheese has honestly helped the crap storm of a week whirling around in my head.

Well, you may be wondering why there are no blood results to show. There is, I just don't like any of them at the moment so I couldn't face posting them up. Instead, I shall give you a picture of my cat Vincent giving me a big snuggle, who I love so much and I shall leave this here until next week. 

This weeks rating:⭐⭐☆☆☆

Bye everyone!!!

[[0016]] Week 6 Overview

What an absolute up and down of a week, is the only way I can seem to put this... just like my blood sugars ha! 

So, here are the blood results for the week... and honestly, what an absolute mess. I have had some good days thankfully but a lot of bad bloods seem to be taking over. I am still getting used to taking Toujeo and will need to contact my nurse about potentially upping the dose a little bit (once I've figured out getting my screen shots up on the work PCs so I can email them to her). I have started to have less hypos though, which is good... but I am also having a few more highs, but that might not be because of Toujeo, and could instead be, especially at the end of the week, down to stress of the news I got on Friday. 

So, many of you may have seen my blog post yesterday (if not, then check it out here) about the news I received on Friday in regards to my kidneys, and that they have in fact worsened since leaving hospital and because of this, I am now diagnosed with stage 3 chronic kidney disease (CKD3). I won't go into all the stuff I went into in my previous blog post about it all, because this is an overview and you all don't need to here it again, but I do think it has caused me a lot of stress, anxiety and worry which is why my blood sugars have not been easy to control this weekend. I am going to try harder next week but... I don't know what next week will bring for that matter. Nonetheless, I am still dealing and trying to cope with everything as best as I can. Just gotta wait and see what the future brings from here on out I guess. 

So, it was Valentine's Day on Friday and because of our trip to London, we couldn't do a large amount (and in the end I had an early night because of the CKD news) but when we were in London, we found this awesome shop called Scribblr, that had some proper fantastic Valentine's Day cards... and low and behold, the other half got me this card haha! Everyone at work had a good giggle about it as I had to put it on my desk... and I guess in a way, it is kind of convenient, specially as carb counting is going to be my future soon.

I shared it on one of the diabetes facebook groups I am on and OMG, I was worried about what they would think, but thankfully, loads of people thought it was hilarious thank goodness!!! Hell, it was a pretty popular post that day on there, so win win all round. And means the other half now officially wins at Valentine's Day according to the group, so I would honestly like to think I have brightened a lot of people's days with the sharing of my card!

I did get Jake an Eminem one, mainly because I got him an Ed Sheeran one last year, so felt I had to keep the music theme up... just gotta decide what kind of music one to get him next year haha!!! We also managed to get take out for our Valentine's Day meal and ordered a massive £30 vouchers worth of Papa John's pizza and sides! So so so so good haha Got to love having Paypal credit sometimes, if it means you can have a nice treat... and omg the cheesy jalapeno bites were so good, I could have eaten a bajillion haha (I also really love their special garlic sauce and have a couple spare in the fridge cos dunking nuggets in it is the best thing ever)!

I haven't really done a lot this week, just work and sleep and so on... but we did go to my Dad's and Step Mum's this weekend which was awesome. A few drinky-poos were had, played some fun games (Cards Against Star Wars is AWESOME), did some karaoke and got an absolutely banging roast dinner today which was so so so so needed and definitely satisfied my vegetable cravings (one of the reasons I love roast dinners).

But best of all, I get to see my gorgeous big boy, Vincent Valentine Kadaj the 1st, well, Vincent or Vinnie for short. He's an old man now but he is so cuddly and massive and snuggly and just, OMG I can't help but sit with him for ages and give him loves and pets and scratches and listen to him purr and so on. He's a right dribbler of a cat as well, bless him but its worth it for the massive cuddles and head bops he gives you ❤️❤️❤️ I remember when he was a baby kitten, when I first got him, and I left him on the sofa when I went up to bed to sleep... and I came down in the night to check on him and he had disappeared behind the cushions and down the back of the sofa, so for a solid week, I slept with him downstairs! I love getting to see him when I can. He's a special lil old princely man. And makes me happy and calm and chill about things when he is around. I'd love to have him with me, but living in the countryside has been amazing for him so I would never take him away from that, but I love that when I do get to see him, he is nothing but cuddles, like he can remember me looking after him like a mama when he was a baby. 

I guess the only other thing I have to report is that I finally spoke to my doctors surgery about getting my medication changed for neuropathy and  am so glad that I rang them. I got a telephone appointment with my actual doctor which I was so relieved about (I love my doctors so much, like, they get me and know that I know what is wrong when I go in so the appointments are always quick and they seem to like I have done a masters in biomedical science too). It was a good chat and he listened which was amazing and is putting me back on Mirtazapine straight away because I clearly need it after my bad lack of sleep since coming off the medication as well as the fact my mental health is dipping quite badly at the moment. He's also giving me another medication for the neuropathy which I have heard better things about in comparison to Duloxitine so I am looking forward to trying them and hoping that I get less pain in my feet. I'll let you know next week how that all goes!!!

So, I think that is all for this week for now, so thank you all again for sticking around, reading, commenting, following and sharing! I'll get the diabetes message out there some day, I hope! I can't do it without any of you after all ❤️

[[0011]] Week 4 Overview

Happy Sunday evening everyone... and apologies for the muchas late weekly review post. It has been a day and a half and then some on the organising front... and even then, things aren't organised. Slightly better, but not organised. And somewhat more disorganised too, if that is even possible. 

But we will get on to that later. First things first, the weekly blood test results review... and... it's been bad. 

Since going to the Diabetic Clinic on Tuesday, I honestly have felt so damn burned out by the diabetes again, which I haven't felt like since before hospital, when I was stressed, had stress going on in my life, when everyday was stress and I had no time to think of the diabetes. 

Again, the clinic was great and I am glad I went, as there are some positive changes on the way, hopefully tomorrow or Tuesday, whenever my prescription gets updated and changed and I have new medication but... it's the age old chat of "you are too young for complications" along with, "yes, you have been stressed and stuff but complications..." and yes I damn well know all of this and I have known for absolutely YEARS and nothing will ever change the fact that I have lived the vast majority of my life with some kind of stress and anxiety and depression and so forth... and just, I get it. I get it and I just want some changes to be positive about, like, "well done on lowering the HbA1c into the nurses target range" and "well done for having the balls to remove toxic people and life stress from your life to get better" and heck, even "well done for trying to keep on top of things and trying to keep your bloods in range" and blah blah blah. 

Urgh... its a burn out week. It really is. I'm hoping with next week being a new week, things are going to be a little bit better but, I honestly can never tell. The fact I can feel that the diabetes control is slowly starting to major control my life is starting and continuing to eat away at me and I hate it. Its becoming an obsession, and I hate that it is, because I just want to deal with it and get on with my life as normally as possible but it honestly doesn't feel like I can do that right now... not with the carb counting dietitian appointment coming up. Like I know how to carb count, I've read how too... but it seems to consume every little thing you do when you eat and I hate that... I get why, I get why it's fantastic... I just hate it because we all know eating is vital to staying alive but it shouldn't make me feel like it is taking over... and it is. I hate it so much. This is one of the reasons I rebelled so much as a kid... that and being in secondary school with T1D is bloody hard anyway when peer pressure is everywhere and you get picked on for being diabetic amongst other things. Oh well, at least I know, after following some diabetes groups on Facebook, that I am not the only one who has so many problems.

However, I have been preparing for my trip to London, which I feel like I may actually need at this point because I don't think I've had a mini break since June last year, so it's long overdue and might just give me a chance to relax, de-stress and for once, enjoy myself in the city I love. 

I've also been preparing my next blog post for you all, which I am hoping will be like a show and tell kind of thing. The picture to the left is a little bag I found whilst packing my stuff for London, and I've decided to use it for all my diabetes kit and stuff. I've never done something like this before, and tend to let things hang loose in the bottom/front pocket of my bag, but I've been seeing people doing similar so it seemed a great thing to do, and something my mental health doesn't seem to mind doing because it appeals to my sense of organisation. Plus, geeky is best haha, would you expect anything less from me? Eitherway, the other half is gonna grab some dextros tablets and what not to put in the pouch tomorrow and then it will be ready for show and tell on Tuesday, so be ready to check out post 0012! I am actually quite excited about it!!

Speaking of packing... it is what I have spent most of today doing... as well as washing up a lot of clothes because my wonderful cats are absolute dicks... and decided at some point over the last week or so, to make my life hell. Not that I didn't have a lot of washing to do or ought, but I knew what I wanted to take to London with me and for once I intended on packing early so that I wasn't rushing the night before (we will be streaming Tuesday night before we go so the more prepared the better yo!). 

Alas, I entered the bathroom on Saturday... realised a lot of the dirty clothes in there were a bit damp... and then the smell hit me. The cats had decided to protest the old litter tray and their hate of it and decided to pee on the clothes... (I think Pom Pom did most of the peeing mind you, I'll post a picture of her in another post)... but then I found some cat poop hidden neatly under some clothes and I knew exactly who had done that one. Pictured above is my beautiful shit bag of cat, who has pooped in my bedroom before and covered it with my shorts... which is kind of sweet because she is a clean kitty but OMG WHY POOP AND PEE IN THE BATHROOM WHEN YOUR LITTER TRAY IS LESS THAN TO METRES AWAY? Seriously, I love my baby snuggle butt, but I do question her life choices at the best of times. Needless to say though, both kitties now have a new litter tray, with litter liners and freshener and a cute cat paw print mat and they seem to be loving their new toilet as there have been no more accidents.

However, it has not changed the fact I am now uber behind of clothes washing to the point I have had to set up two airers, as well as hanging washing off shower doors and radiators and trying to dry stuff in the tumble dryer (which is actually drying slower than the radiators... BLEH!) I mean, I have nearly finished packing, bar two pairs of jeans and a t-shirt which I am waiting to dry/finish washing and then obvs, my back pack for travelling but... at least I am getting there? It's pretty much the only thing in my life right now that is actually organised haha

I am looking forward to London though... I get to see friends I don't get to see often (missed you Misa and Meg and Brum/Manchester crew ❤️) but I also get to see an amazing band I absolutely love, buy more band merch for the band merch/music room but also planning on going to the Natural History Museum, which was one of my all time favourite places as a kid!!! Our friends who live near us, Sarah and Mike, are also coming to see Dir en Grey for the first time and I am actually so bloody excited for them too eeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Speaking of music... guess who got tickets to see My Chemical Romance in June for a certain someones birthday? I did!!! The other halfs family helped towards them seen as he's always wanted to see MCR, and tbh I am quite excited. My diabetes on the other hand, went absolutely mental during and after buying tickets because of the anxiety of the queue and then the fact I actually managed to get them. Needless to say, this year is a fantastic year for seeing music, and I have been saying for ages that I wanted to enjoy life a bit more now I am not as stressed and bogged down with things. So roll on Dir en Grey on Wednesday, then MUCC and Skindred for my birthday and finally MCR in June! Now to pray Versailles, Jupiter or Kamijo announce for this year... would be pretty perfect! 

But I should probably bring this back round to diabetes... as per usual. I'm not sure, but I think my neuropathy might be getting worse, or the medication just is not working (because I know for a fact it is not working as an anti-depressant). Today, after all the walking I did yesterday, alongside the super manual job I did at work on Friday alongside hunting through the house and climbing over things today, the pins and needles in my bad foot has intensified again to the point that I am finally feeling the pain everyone goes on about. I am a bit concerned and  don't really know what to do because its a nerve problem so normal over the counter pain killers do absolutely nothing. I'm hoping it gets better before London, and might have to beg the fiance for a foot rub when he's filling less sick... so I'm just going to cross my fingers and hope I get some new medication for neuropathy this week.

I also think I may have figured out a way to sleep better without the aid of my old anti-depressant, Mirtazapine. I've actually been getting to sleep easier since Wednesday when I bought the new thermal 15tog duvet (we have a freezing house omg)... and I have been dropping off a lot easier. I've been reading for a while about those weighted blankets and I know its not the same but... this duvet is heavier and I think I might actually need something weighted to help me sleep better. Maybe, if I ever make some pennies off this blog, I could put them towards one of those heavy blankets? Would be awesome!!!

Anyway... that be enough rambling for one week, plus I need some damn good rest before work tomorrow as I am on the super manual job again as well as training someone on the lead role. So... be back on Tuesday guys, and thank you for sticking around!