[[0031]] Day 8 of Self-Isolation

Good mental health day, good mental health day, good mental health day.

Day 8 (Today is actually okay, thank goodness)

Honestly, today has been a good mental health day, again, I half expected it, not full expected, but it is definitely one of the better days I have had.

It's a short and sweet blog today, no need for a mood sammich to make me feel better because I don't need to be made to feel better today. So, was is today better than all the other days?

1. Family are awesome, funds were donated, we don't need to stress for the rest of the week. I could not be more grateful. Like seriously, seeing something in my account last night hugely lifted the weight off my shoulders. Hugely.
2. We have used said funds from family to get food and drink to add variation to our day so we are not eating the same old thing which actually starts to depress me. Long story short, don't need to eat pasta tomorrow and I could not be more relieved. 
3. As said above, we managed to get some cheap tasty drink so I don't have to worry about running out of the squash and that the water filter cartridge needs replacing. Again, a silly thing, but a happy Queenie is a Queenie that enjoys what she is eating and drinking, and is eating and drinking because she has to.
4. We also managed to get some rizla and baccy so if I get stressed out when at home on my own tomorrow, it's okay because smoking genuinely makes me calm my tits down.
5. The other half had a day off work today so it meant I had someone to talk to throughout the day which was nice. Even when we were not talking, it was nice having someone about just in case I needed to say something to an adult.
6. I have done good and avoided as best I can, games that piss me off, which has proper lifted my mood. As well as playing Animal Crossing with my friends, ahhhh so much fun. 
7. And lastly, I finally have some bin bags so I can finally gut the bedroom and eventually, the rest of the house. 

So... it's been a good day. Family and the other half have helped a lot and honestly, I just don't know where I would be without them. We can actually survive until pay day now and not have the extra burden of worrying or stressing out. Should also reflect in my blood sugars tomorrow so I am looking forward to seeing the changes in them. Nonetheless, I hate that it took me asking for help (not for the first time) to make things less stressful and make me feel better. But, today really has been the better of the days so far, in so many ways, I just don't like that it is because we have some fundage to get food and baccy and drink and hypo stuff, like if there was a free way to lift my mood, I would love to know... but until then, I am happier, and I bet the other half is more than relieved about that one as well as I. 

I still expect my mental health to keep dipping progressively though, especially the longer I am inside. That being said, what with the rule to go out and do exercise, me and the other half are gonna take a walk out later to play a bit of Pokemon and do some more Genesect research before the challenge is over. I actually can't wait to see a bit more of outside than the mess of my back garden, cos well, terraced houses have the shittest back gardens. I think the other half is going to set up my switch for streaming tonight as well so I might finally get to stream on our main channel whilst he is at work, plus, Animal Crossing streams are the best right now, totally. 

Only two days left till the weekend and then Jake is home for the whole two days which again, is always lovely, especially as the dreaded virus is getting worse and the peak of those with it/dying because of it, is increasing. And I am already planning out things to do over the weekend, so I can keep up with keeping busy and essentially not give my head the chance to tear itself apart. 

Long story short, tomorrow won't be too horrendous and Friday should be okay too.

Alas, I think that is it for now.

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0019]] Eye screening results are back... and when you thought things could NOT get any worse...

... when you think things cannot get any worse...

AND THEY DO.

(Because this is my life and they always get worse).

To be quite honest with you, I had been having a somewhat reasonable day for many reasons, such as payday, eating food I want to eat, having the drinks I like, new stuff in Pokémon Sword, getting a Shiny Lucario (at last) for my Shiny Zapdos, working with people I like, being good at biting my tongue and the most important thing... PLANNING MY AMAZING LONDON/WALES BIRTHDAY and then you get slammed in the face by a massive fat brick and you're like, "oh well, honestly can't have nice things, can I?" (Enjoy the picture of the shiny Lucario, she deserved to be on here to brighten all of your days).

This my friends, is the life I keep joking and telling you all about but now you get to see how it unfolds as it unfolds as I only just opened these letters myself... and I am just... I don't even know. I might laugh and joke about all of this, but deep down, I'm tearing myself apart on a daily basis because trying and doing is never good enough and will never be good enough because there never, ever seems to be any good news about my health, only more and more little bits of bad. Maybe I should try and take the crap in my life more seriously but I think if I did that, I don't think I'd be standing and I don't want to live and wallow in my own self pity, so may as well be blunt and honest with everyone; if I do that, I can't get hurt, because means I get the truth out there before people start to make things up about me. Honesty is the best policy supposedly...

So... the eye screening results and why my brain is word vomiting a blog post for you all... well, I am getting to it. I didn't actually get my screening results first... turned out I had been sent an appointment at my local hospital in the Ophthalmology Dept, which if I am honest, I am kind of used to those by now as they are a regular occurrence. 

So, I got this this morning... well, yesterday but I just didn't check the door as I had not heard the postman yesterday. I expected an appointment or a check up but this letter didn't really explain why, plus, that appointment was not going to stick for long because: 

1. Need appointments later in the afternoon because of the eye drops making my eyes too blurry to actually do my job
2. It's on my birthday and going to the hospital on my birthday is just bloody depressing and I can think of things I would rather be doing than sitting in a waiting room, unable to see for like three hours or more afterwards

I never actually got round to changing the appointment today, but it was on my list to do tomorrow... the least I could ask for is an appointment towards the end of April, or somehow get put on an earlier clinic if the powers let be could. 

And then I got home. And saw the letter with the return address for Bristol so kind of knew the eye screening results were back (and quicker then I anticipated as well). And then I actually read it. And then the above appointment suddenly made a lot of bloody sense. 

I don't really remember what my old diabetic eye screening letters read or looked like, but I don't think I have ever read one quite this harsh or blunt. "Sight-threatening retinopathy". "Serious changes to the blood vessels". 

Either way, it looks like yet again, the stress and the illnesses I went through last year is causing my eyes to give me problems as well. Don't get me wrong, my vision has been blurry for a while and some days I can see screens and things fine and then others I need to wear reading glasses to magnify the letters in books on screens so I can read clearly, heck, I've been able to wear the glasses less at work because my vision has not been blurring as bad and yet... this is just potentially, the straw that might break the camels back (oh yeah, update, my mental health has been in a trash place as well, supposedly wrecked the kitchen on Tuesday but don't remember doing it, just remember crying cos no pans to make dinner, then my porridge died in the microwave and after that is a blur of crying and going to bed to depresso sleep so....... yeah). 

What does this all mean, bar well, my head going three thousand plus miles an hour and refusing to shut up as it weights up all the scenarios from the good (saving my eyesight) to the terrifying (eventually being blind) so I am prepared for every single eventuality that could happen (this also includes how people will speak to me and treat me, to what work might or might not do, to having to quit working... my brain will think of EVERYTHING that may or may not happen)?

Well... long story short (although I won't know for certain until I attend the appointment), this might mean I have to have laser surgery again. I have had this three times before, the last time I think being six or so years ago, maybe five. I think I've had it twice in my left eye and once on my right. I need to make it clear (lol, no pun intended), that surgery for retinopathy is nothing like the corrective surgery for those who wear glasses... it doesn't help you see better or fix the problem and damn I wish it did. Alas, like most diabetic problems, all laser surgery does it prevent the problem from getting worse for a time (so in this case, slow down the chance of you becoming blind). Long story short, laser surgery for diabetic retinopathy involves firing a laser to the area where the small blood vessels are leaking fluid (I think sugar) into the back of the eye. Type 1 diabetes can affect the microvascular blood vessel system, which is why a lot of use end up with eye, kidney, nerve and heart problems (and look at me, being 30 and having three of the four already). 

Have I ever mentioned one of my biggest fears? Going blind. Blindness is one of my top four most hated and feared things. I don't want to go blind. So yes, if it's laser surgery again then I will indeed go for it (even though you do have to sign forms and so on, which tell you this surgery could make you blond eep). I am not ready to be blind and I never will be ready. I like to draw and I like to write and I want my career in Science and I want to be able to see for all of these as best that I can. Hell, I want to be able to see my wedding. See my family. See my partner. See my cats. See my friends. See films and TV and musicians playing live. See the video games I play... so I'll take the laser surgery again. There could be other treatments but until I read the leaflet they sent, I have no idea what other options there are. But I'd probably take those options too. I don't have a choice, I cannot afford to lose my eye sight so young.

Needless to say, this has put a major downer on planning a fun birthday away from this town, with my friends and my fiance in London and in Wales. I still intend on planning these things, but I;m being fake if I seem happy about them cos all I want to do is crawl under my duvet and not come out until the problems go away even though I know that they will not. So yeah, I'll continue to plan my birthday. I'll try and change the appointment so it doesn't affect my birthday (pray for an earlier appointment for me please!!!) and we will just see what happens.

So yeah, thats that. I am yet again, not getting a break which I feel like I have fought for so damn hard. But I guess this is my life at the end of the day. Who am I to expect a break? The world just has to crap on people just to see how much they can take.

Alas, sometimes, strong people can break. Now that's a pre-warning to whatever is up there. Don't break me. It will not be fucking pretty.

  

[[0018]] Week 7 Overview - Diabetic Mini MOT and a touch of partial burnout

I have decided that I am going to start naming these weekly overview posts with one line that ultimately sums up the week. It is appropriate, fitting and very much me. And thinking of whacky names for overview posts, how about like, a rating system for the week overall, after all, some weeks are good and some are just a total burn out... LOL.

I guess, to start with something semi-good for the week. I finally have all the new medication requested for me from the Doctor at the hospital clinic. Not that it is his fault it has been a long wait, I didn't know I needed to call up to push things along a bit quicker. The candesartan I already knew about as that got added to my prescription not long after my Toujeo insulin was, but I had no news on what I was getting to replace Duloxitine. Thankfully, I got a phone call from my Doctor booked and he put me back on mirtazapine straight away and gave me what he called a really good neuropathic medication which is pregabalin. Only downside of the latter is I have to take it twice a day instead of once so it's a whole new thing to remember to do in the evening, but I think I am getting one of those pill dispenser things with times of day and days of the week on soon to help me remember to take them all at the appropriate times. 

Good thing about the new neuro meds is that I no longer feel nauseous all the damn time, which is fantastic as that has been plaguing me since I started taking duloxitine last year; the worst was the sickness every time I ended up in stop-start traffic after work on the bus home, especially when inconsiderate people would glare at me for the weird noises I'd make to stop myself throwing up. I also feel my foot pins and needles less with these meds too, which is another bonus; it doesn't feel like I am clenching something with my toes on my bad foot anymore. Bad thing about the pregabalin is that for some reason, my balance is becoming somewhat off and I seem to drift a lot more than normal; I already have a cracking bruise on my arm from walking into the racking in my office. 

You're probably wondering what the tablets not in a box are, and these, my good friends and family, are the happy sleep pills I had before they were also replaced with the two in one duloxitine. EVERYONE who knows me, knows how badly my sleep has suffered without these, and in turn, my mental health, which has honestly felt like walking on the edge of a knife for the last couple of months. Sleep isn't enough to make me feel better, as are the tablets but they help me keep some kind of bare minimum control on my mental health when things get rough, which they major have been of late. I still feel down and depressed a lot and I am still overwhelmed by the sheer amount of control good diabetes management is seeming to have on my life, but I have my sleep back and I can deal with the world a little bit better now I have these antidepressants back... even if I run the chance of sleeping in my alarm because well, not slept properly in months till now!!!

You are probably wonder what I mean when I mention Diabetic Mini MOT? Well, I lovingly got this name idea from the gentleman doing the diabetic eye screening on Friday morning, after I told him that I had a dietitian appointment after the eye screening appointment.

I cannot tell you much about the eye screening other than look how massive my bloody pupils were after the eye drops... as you can guess, I had to leave work because my vision was all blurry. I'll get the results in a couple of weeks I believe but I know it will be signs of retinopathy, either the same as last time or worse since I can't remember the last time I had an eye screening appointment but I have been stresses as fuck since. 

I saw my dietitian though and was able to tell her the good news about my new long acting insulin and tablets (it was thanks to her that I contacted the hospital diabetes team about new medication last year) so she was happy to see that change at last. You may also remember the highs at lunch time that I mentioned about in other blog reviews and I have been asked to try and do a couple units extra as I may be one of the diabetics that need more in the morning, so let's see how that one goes next week!! 

I was able to admit to her that I was getting extremely overwhelmed with the amount of carb counting every tiny gram of carbohydrate in my food was giving me and that I was terrified to the point where sometimes I just wouldn't carb count or I'd binge eat and do whatever meds to cope. It is still getting to me now as I do not what the diabetes to rule every littler thing I do, and maybe I am wrong and its the demons in my head again, but I feel like having good diabetes is monitoring every little thing, acting towards every little thing, counting every little thing, medding for every little thing and I honestly cannot cope with that right now, it's really difficult. I am however being booked on a three day carb counting course, so fingers crossed, that can help stop making everything so overwhelming for me. 

Because trust me, I am shattered. I keep having to escape A LOT so I just don't think about the future and what will become of me. Which has meant I have started obsessing worse than ever, on the Pokémon games since the new HOME version came out on Switch and Mobile and I just can't stay off it. I want to fill the national dex somehow, and I think the other half is helping me to try and achieve that which is awesome... but yeah, I ended up caught for two days and a half  completing the original Pokémon Moon game as I thought I had finished the dex and had the shiny charm and I was going to hunt shinies to chill out, and then I realised I made a horrible mistake, the dex was not finished, I still needed Cosmog and Solgaleo but I had sent my Lunala to HOME so couldn't get it back to get Cosmog. Queue my panic and flapping as I remembered that GTS was going down on the old games as of the 24th Feb... so I had to run around and catch all the Tapu's on both Moon and Ultra Moon and use one to trade on GTS for Lunala which I used to get my Cosmog, then I put Lunala in the GTS to get SOlgaleo and then I forgot I did not have all the Ultra Beasts, just Nihilego... so queue frantically trading Solgaleo for the UK Buzzwole, followed by trading an UB exclusive from MOON for a UK exclusive from Sun and I thought I had got them all but didn't realise Necrozma was in this one... so had to go get him too. And don't forget spending a good 6 hours trying to evolve to get my Silvally for the dex. 

All in all, the stress was worth it and I know avoidance is not the answer to my mental health cheating me out of a break, but this obsessing is giving me the chill out I need to stop my brain from thinking about everything and more all the goddamn bloody time I am awake or trying to rest. That being said, me and the other half have a plan for making the most out of the shinies and rares in the games to the point we have a plan to get further dex's filled for the shiny charms to hunt shinies and increase our odds (this  actually helps me get to sleep quicker cos hunting is so therapeutically boring)... we also have a plan to reply games to get more shiny fodder and so on as well... so that will keep me occupied until I get my occupational therapy counselling appointment that I so desperately need |OMG! (Also, can we appreciate me being a sucker for exclusive limited edition consoles, what with the Sun and Moon sleek as fuck 3DS and my Let's GO Pikachu and Eevee switch? They also make me happy, oops).

Also on the positive front... FAMILY TIME!!! Honestly, I do have the best siblings!!! Got to speak to Lola on the phone this week and as usual, I love my little mini more more and more each time I see her! I have also been informed she loves Panda's now so means I finally have a plan to get her something nice for her new bedroom, maybe some cushions and blankets or picture or all of the above!!!

It was also my step-brother's birthday this weekend too... little Wyatt is now three years old!!! We got him some cute gifts from The Natural History Museum when we went to London, and OMG he loved the lil Triceratops we bought for him and even asked to have it to take to bed with him too OMG so cute I cannot even ❤️❤️❤️

Can't forget Milo either... such a good brother OMG He actually came round again on Wednesday when Jake was at work and bought some amazing home made curry for us to have in wraps for lunch, he also bought some crisps and tasty drink which I so bloody needed what with being strapped for cash till pay day on Thursday!!! Cannot wait to see what amazing foods he will make next and obvs, cannot appreciate enough him coming over on Wednesday so I don't go bloody insane and depressed in the house on my own whilst Jake is at work so long. 

OH CHEESE!!! Last thing... my bestie Josh is so amazing. So so so amazing. We had a big chat about diabetes and the kidney stuff and he proper cheered my up and I honestly love how having a serious conversation with him inadvertently turns into discussing random things about said serious things, for example, ways to cook potatoes to remove the potassium (in case I cannot have potatoes as much anymore further down the line) because there has to be a way to have roast potatoes and mash with a roast dinner dammit! ALSO, he was so lovely and made it possible for me to buy some cheese and crisps, things I don't need to med for, and also after I had a mini freak out that the cheap mature chedder I had to buy was well... more orange like red leicester than mature chedder... thanks to Josh, I got some proper stuff, extra mature Cathedral City cheese and omg, heaven... so much heaven everywhere, my taste buds are invigorated and happy and full of tasty cheese goodness (also look at the pic of the two cheeses... since when was mature cheddar orangy?) I don't actually know where I would be without Josh sometimes... he always knows the right things to say, knows I love honesty even i it stings, knows how to make me laugh and smile... and our little chat and the purchasing of decent cheese has honestly helped the crap storm of a week whirling around in my head.

Well, you may be wondering why there are no blood results to show. There is, I just don't like any of them at the moment so I couldn't face posting them up. Instead, I shall give you a picture of my cat Vincent giving me a big snuggle, who I love so much and I shall leave this here until next week. 

This weeks rating:⭐⭐☆☆☆

Bye everyone!!!

[[0016]] Week 6 Overview

What an absolute up and down of a week, is the only way I can seem to put this... just like my blood sugars ha! 

So, here are the blood results for the week... and honestly, what an absolute mess. I have had some good days thankfully but a lot of bad bloods seem to be taking over. I am still getting used to taking Toujeo and will need to contact my nurse about potentially upping the dose a little bit (once I've figured out getting my screen shots up on the work PCs so I can email them to her). I have started to have less hypos though, which is good... but I am also having a few more highs, but that might not be because of Toujeo, and could instead be, especially at the end of the week, down to stress of the news I got on Friday. 

So, many of you may have seen my blog post yesterday (if not, then check it out here) about the news I received on Friday in regards to my kidneys, and that they have in fact worsened since leaving hospital and because of this, I am now diagnosed with stage 3 chronic kidney disease (CKD3). I won't go into all the stuff I went into in my previous blog post about it all, because this is an overview and you all don't need to here it again, but I do think it has caused me a lot of stress, anxiety and worry which is why my blood sugars have not been easy to control this weekend. I am going to try harder next week but... I don't know what next week will bring for that matter. Nonetheless, I am still dealing and trying to cope with everything as best as I can. Just gotta wait and see what the future brings from here on out I guess. 

So, it was Valentine's Day on Friday and because of our trip to London, we couldn't do a large amount (and in the end I had an early night because of the CKD news) but when we were in London, we found this awesome shop called Scribblr, that had some proper fantastic Valentine's Day cards... and low and behold, the other half got me this card haha! Everyone at work had a good giggle about it as I had to put it on my desk... and I guess in a way, it is kind of convenient, specially as carb counting is going to be my future soon.

I shared it on one of the diabetes facebook groups I am on and OMG, I was worried about what they would think, but thankfully, loads of people thought it was hilarious thank goodness!!! Hell, it was a pretty popular post that day on there, so win win all round. And means the other half now officially wins at Valentine's Day according to the group, so I would honestly like to think I have brightened a lot of people's days with the sharing of my card!

I did get Jake an Eminem one, mainly because I got him an Ed Sheeran one last year, so felt I had to keep the music theme up... just gotta decide what kind of music one to get him next year haha!!! We also managed to get take out for our Valentine's Day meal and ordered a massive £30 vouchers worth of Papa John's pizza and sides! So so so so good haha Got to love having Paypal credit sometimes, if it means you can have a nice treat... and omg the cheesy jalapeno bites were so good, I could have eaten a bajillion haha (I also really love their special garlic sauce and have a couple spare in the fridge cos dunking nuggets in it is the best thing ever)!

I haven't really done a lot this week, just work and sleep and so on... but we did go to my Dad's and Step Mum's this weekend which was awesome. A few drinky-poos were had, played some fun games (Cards Against Star Wars is AWESOME), did some karaoke and got an absolutely banging roast dinner today which was so so so so needed and definitely satisfied my vegetable cravings (one of the reasons I love roast dinners).

But best of all, I get to see my gorgeous big boy, Vincent Valentine Kadaj the 1st, well, Vincent or Vinnie for short. He's an old man now but he is so cuddly and massive and snuggly and just, OMG I can't help but sit with him for ages and give him loves and pets and scratches and listen to him purr and so on. He's a right dribbler of a cat as well, bless him but its worth it for the massive cuddles and head bops he gives you ❤️❤️❤️ I remember when he was a baby kitten, when I first got him, and I left him on the sofa when I went up to bed to sleep... and I came down in the night to check on him and he had disappeared behind the cushions and down the back of the sofa, so for a solid week, I slept with him downstairs! I love getting to see him when I can. He's a special lil old princely man. And makes me happy and calm and chill about things when he is around. I'd love to have him with me, but living in the countryside has been amazing for him so I would never take him away from that, but I love that when I do get to see him, he is nothing but cuddles, like he can remember me looking after him like a mama when he was a baby. 

I guess the only other thing I have to report is that I finally spoke to my doctors surgery about getting my medication changed for neuropathy and  am so glad that I rang them. I got a telephone appointment with my actual doctor which I was so relieved about (I love my doctors so much, like, they get me and know that I know what is wrong when I go in so the appointments are always quick and they seem to like I have done a masters in biomedical science too). It was a good chat and he listened which was amazing and is putting me back on Mirtazapine straight away because I clearly need it after my bad lack of sleep since coming off the medication as well as the fact my mental health is dipping quite badly at the moment. He's also giving me another medication for the neuropathy which I have heard better things about in comparison to Duloxitine so I am looking forward to trying them and hoping that I get less pain in my feet. I'll let you know next week how that all goes!!!

So, I think that is all for this week for now, so thank you all again for sticking around, reading, commenting, following and sharing! I'll get the diabetes message out there some day, I hope! I can't do it without any of you after all ❤️

[[0015]] I'm not as invincible as I thought I was - Chronic Kidney Disease

I'm sat at the laptop trying to figure out a lot of things in my head, alas, everything is overwhelming and even I don't know what to think or do or act or anything at this point in time. I promised a sad post, because... I am going to be honest with all of you and I am quite frankly, not in a good place at all (and for me, I come out better in writing and text then I do in person and talking, hence this blog)... so for sad post warnings, here is Igor the Destroyer, attacking the insulin producing Beta cells of the immune system, thus causing type 1 diabetes. So... if you want to read some sad, read on, if you don't, then I suggest backing out not.

So, where to begin?

I finally received the letter the consultant wrote to my doctor and cc'ed me in on. It's kinda funny, I see letters like this every day at work so I partially no what to expect to be written on them or their tone, but when it is about yourself... it's a completely different kettle of fish. 

So the layout is normally simple, name and address and all that, followed by diagnosis, medication/med changes, investigations (blood results mainly) and then some writing about seeing you in clinic and further description of changes and health and what will be done. 

But mine... had a somewhat nasty surprise I was hoping wouldn't happen under diagnosis and... to say I am not shaken would be a lie because yet again, I am absolutely terrified about my future.

As many of you are aware, I was taken in to hospital last year due to permanent pins and needles that happened in my foot when I was severely sick with gastroenteritis. Whilst in hospital, it turns out that I had also suffered an Acute Kidney Injury (AKI) in which I was given antibiotics for an infection that had developed in my left kidney all thanks to the gastroenteritis and as my doctor on the ward said, your kidneys are the wimps of the body... if you get sick, they might go down with you. And boy, do they go down with you. Hard.

Prior to being in hospital last October, my kidney function was relatively normal... after, well, my Glomerular Filtration Rate is refusing to rise higher than 41-43... this... basically means that I am now no longer suffering with an AKI, but a Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD), stage 3B to be precise. This is because my kidney function has not returned to their functionality from the pre-event of Gastroenteritis last year... and since being in hospital, they just have not got any better. This means they are only functioning at half capacity. And that... at the age of 30, is bloody terrifying.

Don't get me wrong... all this can eventually happen to a type 1 diabetic, less likely when you have good control and more likely if control is bad but it can still happen nonetheless. It's like the neuropathy, I was not expecting that (after the years of high bloods and stress that I have had ruining said diabetes) until I was at least 40 or 50... but 30? Yes, part of my control is to blame for all of this but it isn't the main reason all this is happening to me now, it is because I had that Gastroenteritis last year... that is why neuropathy started... and that is why I now have a CKD.

All that being said... I am still blaming myself. Even though the vast majority of the stress was not my fault and I have removed as much of that as I could possibly do from my life (which has shown in my HbA1c going down at last) but now I am wondering, if it even was enough? Or will it ever be enough? I've done what I can and I really have tried as I have got older because I would like to try and enjoy my life and live said normal life as much as possible whilst I can. Something as stupid as a severe stomach bug has brought on all these changes, not all strictly my diabetes and I think that is what is making all of this even worse for me... because I knew it would maybe happen one day but not so soon and not like this, maybe I would have had more preparation as things slowly started to deteriorate, not suddenly cos of a stupid bloody bug. 

But, knowing I have CKD now has suddenly made a few of the other problems that I have developed since leaving hospital, make sense. I always thought being so out of breath all the time was related to smoking (yes, before anyone asks I do end on quitting now cos of my kidneys) but, my breath has been so so bad since coming out of hospital, even walking up the stairs can get to me way too much... turns out the build up of waste products cos lack of kidney functionality can cause this. I also cramp really badly and get bad pains in what I think is my hip joint bone and my knee and this also relates to CKD. I can only stand or walk for a short period of time before I am in agony and have to sit down. Fatigue is partially related but isn't helped by the fact I've not slept properly since hospital because they changed my antidepressant (although I am getting it back so watch this space on that). 

Nonetheless, my mental health is shot. I just want to curl up and sleep and cuddle my cats and honestly, pretend none of this happening. I still have loads I need to do with my life before I even give myself the chance to rest and relax, for example, buy my bungalow to make my future life easy, for example, go to work and do my four days a week so we can live comfortably and pay bills and still enjoy life (cos I really need to enjoy life right now), kids in the future would also be nice but now I am not so sure that will be okay to do, let alone easy. 

I know the Duloxitine has not been a good antidepressant for me, and maybe my outlook will be better once my Mirtazapine kicks in and I get my sleep back to normal again... but I can still feel all the niggling anxiety poking inside head comments fighting it out and I just can't keep up, I have a constant headache, I am constantly tired and worrying and scared and dear fuck, I don't want to die young, which is now my newest and biggest fear. 

I'm just not happy. I am not happy at all. I thought I was invincible once upon a time, well, not invincible but I was good at bouncing back and recovering and now I am not so sure where or what I am anymore. Which is another fear that is plaguing me as well. My diabetes and my health is taking over my life and I hate it, I hate it so much. I feel like I am becoming my diabetes and that is so depressing and mortifying and not what I wanted at all. Like, I get I have to control my diabetes and stuff to live said normal and happy life... but all these things that I now have to do are starting to scare and overwhelm me and I am honestly freaking out daily because there is just so much. After next week, I have to carb count everything I eat and medicate accordingly... FOR EVERYTHING. I have to work out correction doses and other things as well for when my bloods are high. If that is not taking over my life, I don't know what is. Any strenuous activity needs to be medded properly and accounted for, so if I do anything different, constant checking to make sure things are normal. Then the number of pills and insulin jabs I have to take daily as well. Add in the amount of clinics and appointments I have to go to now (I have three coming up on Friday... that's a day of work lost). Add to all that eventually that I will have renal appointments and more blood tests as well.

At this point in time, bar taking the Candesartan tablets again and praying they preserve my kidneys, I have no idea what to do about my kidneys... as supposedly I will never get better from it. I don't know why I am saying supposedly, I learnt all this at University. I will never really recover from it. And this is where potentially more life controlling and changing things can happen and overwhelm me further. My diet may have to change for starters and some of the things I love, I may no longer be allowed to have because of kidney function. This could mean food bills get more expensive as I will only be able to have a healthy balanced diet of certain things which doesn't bode well when we eat cheap cos that is what we can afford. Obvs, I will quit smoking although that is going to be hard as its currently my stress free, peace and quiet routine so that will be a tough habit to break. I don't drink a lot anyway, but alcohol consumption when I do have it, will have to change. Hell, even lowering my salt intake may have to happen (and I love crisps so much omg). Also, if my bone pain is caused by a build up of phosphate in my blood cos of my kidneys, then I will have to reduce or remove dairy, eggs and red meat from my diet. 

It's a lot to deal with. It is all too overwhelming and I feel lost and alone even though I am not alone because I have my fiance, friends and family. But it's still scary and taking over my life and I hate it all, I hate it all so much. I know it can't happen but I just want to be normal, I don't even remember what normal feels like what with being diagnosed so young. 

I just want to try and make something of myself in whatever years I have... (at least 35, I hope). Like... I don't want to be known as my diabetes and my diabetes being me. I want to try and make something of myself so when I do one day go down, go blind, lose my kidney function or whatever... I've done something to be remembered for. I hope that I can write a book one day, whether its about my life or my fantasy world of Aluria, and I hope we can make it as streamers as well, because it would be nice to work doing things I love to get by, not because I need to work to survive. I hope I can manage to get some kind of work helping kids with type 1 diabetes.

I don't know, I have dreams. All I can do is just try and carry on, like I normally do... because honestly, there isn't much more I can do at this point.    

[[0011]] Week 4 Overview

Happy Sunday evening everyone... and apologies for the muchas late weekly review post. It has been a day and a half and then some on the organising front... and even then, things aren't organised. Slightly better, but not organised. And somewhat more disorganised too, if that is even possible. 

But we will get on to that later. First things first, the weekly blood test results review... and... it's been bad. 

Since going to the Diabetic Clinic on Tuesday, I honestly have felt so damn burned out by the diabetes again, which I haven't felt like since before hospital, when I was stressed, had stress going on in my life, when everyday was stress and I had no time to think of the diabetes. 

Again, the clinic was great and I am glad I went, as there are some positive changes on the way, hopefully tomorrow or Tuesday, whenever my prescription gets updated and changed and I have new medication but... it's the age old chat of "you are too young for complications" along with, "yes, you have been stressed and stuff but complications..." and yes I damn well know all of this and I have known for absolutely YEARS and nothing will ever change the fact that I have lived the vast majority of my life with some kind of stress and anxiety and depression and so forth... and just, I get it. I get it and I just want some changes to be positive about, like, "well done on lowering the HbA1c into the nurses target range" and "well done for having the balls to remove toxic people and life stress from your life to get better" and heck, even "well done for trying to keep on top of things and trying to keep your bloods in range" and blah blah blah. 

Urgh... its a burn out week. It really is. I'm hoping with next week being a new week, things are going to be a little bit better but, I honestly can never tell. The fact I can feel that the diabetes control is slowly starting to major control my life is starting and continuing to eat away at me and I hate it. Its becoming an obsession, and I hate that it is, because I just want to deal with it and get on with my life as normally as possible but it honestly doesn't feel like I can do that right now... not with the carb counting dietitian appointment coming up. Like I know how to carb count, I've read how too... but it seems to consume every little thing you do when you eat and I hate that... I get why, I get why it's fantastic... I just hate it because we all know eating is vital to staying alive but it shouldn't make me feel like it is taking over... and it is. I hate it so much. This is one of the reasons I rebelled so much as a kid... that and being in secondary school with T1D is bloody hard anyway when peer pressure is everywhere and you get picked on for being diabetic amongst other things. Oh well, at least I know, after following some diabetes groups on Facebook, that I am not the only one who has so many problems.

However, I have been preparing for my trip to London, which I feel like I may actually need at this point because I don't think I've had a mini break since June last year, so it's long overdue and might just give me a chance to relax, de-stress and for once, enjoy myself in the city I love. 

I've also been preparing my next blog post for you all, which I am hoping will be like a show and tell kind of thing. The picture to the left is a little bag I found whilst packing my stuff for London, and I've decided to use it for all my diabetes kit and stuff. I've never done something like this before, and tend to let things hang loose in the bottom/front pocket of my bag, but I've been seeing people doing similar so it seemed a great thing to do, and something my mental health doesn't seem to mind doing because it appeals to my sense of organisation. Plus, geeky is best haha, would you expect anything less from me? Eitherway, the other half is gonna grab some dextros tablets and what not to put in the pouch tomorrow and then it will be ready for show and tell on Tuesday, so be ready to check out post 0012! I am actually quite excited about it!!

Speaking of packing... it is what I have spent most of today doing... as well as washing up a lot of clothes because my wonderful cats are absolute dicks... and decided at some point over the last week or so, to make my life hell. Not that I didn't have a lot of washing to do or ought, but I knew what I wanted to take to London with me and for once I intended on packing early so that I wasn't rushing the night before (we will be streaming Tuesday night before we go so the more prepared the better yo!). 

Alas, I entered the bathroom on Saturday... realised a lot of the dirty clothes in there were a bit damp... and then the smell hit me. The cats had decided to protest the old litter tray and their hate of it and decided to pee on the clothes... (I think Pom Pom did most of the peeing mind you, I'll post a picture of her in another post)... but then I found some cat poop hidden neatly under some clothes and I knew exactly who had done that one. Pictured above is my beautiful shit bag of cat, who has pooped in my bedroom before and covered it with my shorts... which is kind of sweet because she is a clean kitty but OMG WHY POOP AND PEE IN THE BATHROOM WHEN YOUR LITTER TRAY IS LESS THAN TO METRES AWAY? Seriously, I love my baby snuggle butt, but I do question her life choices at the best of times. Needless to say though, both kitties now have a new litter tray, with litter liners and freshener and a cute cat paw print mat and they seem to be loving their new toilet as there have been no more accidents.

However, it has not changed the fact I am now uber behind of clothes washing to the point I have had to set up two airers, as well as hanging washing off shower doors and radiators and trying to dry stuff in the tumble dryer (which is actually drying slower than the radiators... BLEH!) I mean, I have nearly finished packing, bar two pairs of jeans and a t-shirt which I am waiting to dry/finish washing and then obvs, my back pack for travelling but... at least I am getting there? It's pretty much the only thing in my life right now that is actually organised haha

I am looking forward to London though... I get to see friends I don't get to see often (missed you Misa and Meg and Brum/Manchester crew ❤️) but I also get to see an amazing band I absolutely love, buy more band merch for the band merch/music room but also planning on going to the Natural History Museum, which was one of my all time favourite places as a kid!!! Our friends who live near us, Sarah and Mike, are also coming to see Dir en Grey for the first time and I am actually so bloody excited for them too eeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Speaking of music... guess who got tickets to see My Chemical Romance in June for a certain someones birthday? I did!!! The other halfs family helped towards them seen as he's always wanted to see MCR, and tbh I am quite excited. My diabetes on the other hand, went absolutely mental during and after buying tickets because of the anxiety of the queue and then the fact I actually managed to get them. Needless to say, this year is a fantastic year for seeing music, and I have been saying for ages that I wanted to enjoy life a bit more now I am not as stressed and bogged down with things. So roll on Dir en Grey on Wednesday, then MUCC and Skindred for my birthday and finally MCR in June! Now to pray Versailles, Jupiter or Kamijo announce for this year... would be pretty perfect! 

But I should probably bring this back round to diabetes... as per usual. I'm not sure, but I think my neuropathy might be getting worse, or the medication just is not working (because I know for a fact it is not working as an anti-depressant). Today, after all the walking I did yesterday, alongside the super manual job I did at work on Friday alongside hunting through the house and climbing over things today, the pins and needles in my bad foot has intensified again to the point that I am finally feeling the pain everyone goes on about. I am a bit concerned and  don't really know what to do because its a nerve problem so normal over the counter pain killers do absolutely nothing. I'm hoping it gets better before London, and might have to beg the fiance for a foot rub when he's filling less sick... so I'm just going to cross my fingers and hope I get some new medication for neuropathy this week.

I also think I may have figured out a way to sleep better without the aid of my old anti-depressant, Mirtazapine. I've actually been getting to sleep easier since Wednesday when I bought the new thermal 15tog duvet (we have a freezing house omg)... and I have been dropping off a lot easier. I've been reading for a while about those weighted blankets and I know its not the same but... this duvet is heavier and I think I might actually need something weighted to help me sleep better. Maybe, if I ever make some pennies off this blog, I could put them towards one of those heavy blankets? Would be awesome!!!

Anyway... that be enough rambling for one week, plus I need some damn good rest before work tomorrow as I am on the super manual job again as well as training someone on the lead role. So... be back on Tuesday guys, and thank you for sticking around!

[[0010]] Diabetes Clinic (the first of many...)

I was going to post about the diabetes clinic sooner, but I ended up pulling a 11.5hr shift on Tuesday to help out alongside a mass shopping spree for the house yesterday and I honestly have crashed both nights (which was needed as my sleep has been appalling of late).

Anyway, I mentioned on Sunday that I was going to be attending my first Diabetes Clinic at my local hospital for the first time in Y E A R S. I know, I know, I should have continued to attend them, like most, if not all diabetics do, but... I had a rough time growing up, and I despised the consultant of the Diabetes Team for Paediatrics when I was a kid and young teen, so when I could, I just stopped going and eventually started doing all my check ups through my doctors surgery, of whom know my past, my history and why I have been like I have been. The reason I hated clinics at the hospital is because I was always made out to be a bad child by a family member, like I wasn't doing well looking after my diabetes myself and I was rebelling... and in a way, I was, because as a teen, I just wanted to be like everyone else. But this was when I was about 9 years old, when I wasn't fully looking after my own diabetes, and the consultant told me that if I carried on as I was, I would be dead by the time I was 18. What a great thing to say to a child! And it's always left its mark on me as well. Not only that, but when I lived with my Grandma, the doctor at the surgery there also tried to convince me to go to their Diabetes Clinic in that town and... I had strict orders from my Grandma that if it was under the same Consultant my Granddad was under, to just say no, because that guy nearly killed my Granddad by misdiagnosing bowel cancer as dementia. 

So you can see... I wasn't happy with these places.

But after being in hospital last October... and realising that the stress in my life was finally coming to an end, I knew I would have to attend a clinic eventually, to make sure that I can try to be healthier, in more control and all-in-all, live the best and longest life that I can. 

Honestly, I don't think I had enough time to explain everything to the Doctor. I would have loved double the amount of time to just explain everything but... they have other patients to see after all and I will attend again. The consultant seemed nice enough, but... I did get the talk of being in control to prevent problems and I already have retinopathy, kidney problems (not strictly diabetes related) and finally, neuropathy. It's the one talk I hate the most. Like, it sounds like I haven't tried over the years, and I really actually have tried... not as much as I am now, but that's because it is easier to try now because I don't have the majority of stress I used to have affecting my whole entire life. Like, I have diabetes, I know the problems, the issues, hell... a lot of my degree was about diabetes least of all my dissertation and masters project! I know all this... but... in all fairness, I think that was the only time I wanted to scream.

I did manage to cover the vast majority of changes and questions I needed to ask though. And thankfully my phone holding all my blood results was a God send, especially when the Diabetes Nurse took a look, and saw that day where I had way too many hypos as well as the fact in that week alone where I had about 9. The Doctor also noticed the massive amount of hypos I have been having, which thankfully led to a discussion about finally changing my night time, long acting basal insulin... which since hearing about Tresiba and Toujeo, I have wanted for ages. I haven't started on the new medication yet, but should hopefully be on it at the weekend at the earliest, or at least by the start of next week. This medication is much better than my Lantus insulin, which does not last the full 24 hours, but also has a high peak before dropping which can be the result of some of my night time hypo attacks. Toujeo lasts a bit longer so covers you for a whole day and means if needs be, can be injected a little later than whatever time I decide to pick to take it. I won't bore you with the Science of how it is better but I will do at a later date as I am always stupidly curious about these things. 

When I get this new medication, I am doing a straight swap between doses... it takes about three days to kick in so hypos may still occur in the beginning but if they continue, the dose can be reduced by ten percent. The insulin should also distribute around the body better so eventually, the peaks will become essentially a steady line once all settled. Once I get the insulin, I have to monitor everything for a week and send it to my nurse just in case the change doesn't work for me, however, this is the change that I really did need so we don't see how it won't work when I get it. 

The Doctor checked all my previous blood results, and stated my kidneys are not getting any better, which I partially knew... but I am unsure if he realises my kidney function has gone wrong ever since I had Gastroenteritis which led to the Polynephritis... this is what I mean when I say it was not ALL my diabetes. I was originally taken off my blood pressure tablets (I take these for my kidneys, not blood pressure) to help my kidneys get better, but I will be put back on them again to see if there is an improvement in about two weeks time. I hope so, I am still terrified I'll end up with a chronic kidney disease through no fault of my own other than kidneys are absolute wimps. 

I also bought a water filter finally yesterday (I have a big problem with the water here, its so harsh and has an odd after taste I tend to throw up if I drink too much of it). I've always preferred filtered water so getting this should hopefully mean I can drink more water without feeling sick and I hope that should help my kidneys too. But only time and a lot more blood tests will tell if that one works out as planned. Not like I don't have enough going on!!! I think I am being referred to a nephrology team at some point as well to keep an eye on my kidneys... so again, watch this space. 

I managed to mention, although only brief so I am not sure what will come of it, if I can have the medication I am on for my diabetic neuropathy changed. You may have seen me write about this before... and it's been bothering me for months now. Long story short, I was put on Duloxitine and had my anti-depressant sleeping tablet Mirtazapine, taken off me when I went into hospital, as Duloxitine is also an anti-depressant. Annoyingly, I started losing sleep straight away, and no longer was able to sleep for a solid six hours a night which has also badly influenced my mental health, as sleeping properly helps me function so much better in the world, even when things are tough. My mental health is everywhere nowadays, with some nights getting only 2-3 hours broken sleep, taking ages to get to sleep or just not sleeping properly at all. I mentioned to the Doctor that I wanted my old anti-depressant back and a different medication for neuropathy as not only is my sleep ruining, but I feel nausea worse than ever before, like travel sickness on the way home from work when I never had that before.

The Doctor said he was going to write to my Doctor about changing my prescription to have Candesartin back on script again, and he said he would mention about changing the Duloxitine, so fingers crossed in the next couple of days, I know what medication I will have instead. Worst comes to the worst, it's just going to be another trip to the doctors and some begging because I need my sleep back desperately. And I need my mental health back to a place I can manage and cope because I honestly cannot cope like this at the moment. 

(I also got a phone call this week in which I am going to have an appointment made for Counselling again with Occupational Health, so that be something too at least!)

The Diabetic Nurse mentioned that with the amount I blood test and as my bloods have been everywhere, that I may be eligible for a Libre in the future, which is something I do really really want for easier management of my blood sugar levels. This however, will involve carbohydrate counting... and this is where I honestly start to get a little panicked and overwhelmed (alas, I only realised this after the clinic...). Maybe I shouldn't keep reading all the diabetes blogs and groups but I do, I like reading and learning... but already the sheer thought of measuring carbs, equations, watching what I eat, medicating for every little thing I eat in some kind of ratio form, monitoring all physical activity (which yes, includes "night activities) ... I can feel one of my worst fears coming to life, which is simply, I don't want my life to be just about diabetes, I don't want it to control me and rule my life... but I have a feeling, to be the diabetic that I am meant to be, that is what is going to have to happen. Thank God I have counselling soon... even writing about it is setting me on edge. 

At least I was somewhat praised for lowering my HbA1c which is still my proudest achievement to date so I am so glad it was recognised. But they still want to lower it further, which is also understandable... so maybe all of these changes will help, but again, only time will tell. 

At least on a much happier note, the morning of the appointment on my way to work (I had literally no sleep because I was up all night panicking about the clinic), I caught a shiny Poochyena on Pokémon GO! I honestly felt I needed that kind of luck that morning, especially after the night I had and the anxiety floating through my veins. 

But alas... I'll have another clinic appointment in 4-6 months depending on my responses to Toujeo once I start taking it. And hopefully a nephrology one too. And add to the list I have a Diabetic Eye Screening appointment to rebook as well as a trip to see my Nurse and bloods in March and a potential Doctors trip to come up soon as well.

All in all, it's just what my new life is like now. 

And if I am honest, I am not in the right place to accept and enjoy it, but thankfully I don't have much choice so deal with it is just exactly what I will have to do, like I always do.

URGH. 

[[0008]] Wrapping up warm - Cold and Diabetes

Hey everyone! 

I thought it was time that I did a bit more of an informative post, like my one about hypoglycaemia. And with the weather being so chilly and frosty in the United Kingdom right now, well, it seems appropriate that this post was about how the cold can influence type 1 diabetes and how it affects us, as well as what we have to do in these bitter conditions. Seems appropriate, don't ya think? 

Not many people know, but the weather can affect type 1 diabetics and our blood sugars as well as our insulin supplies as well. Hot weather I must admit, gets to me the worst in comparison to cold weather, but we will get on to the hot days when the weather warms up a little bit more! We can all dream though! I can currently see my breath as I write this in my living room, however, at least with the cold, you can wrap up in as many layers as possible and eventually be warm as there is only so much you can take off before its indecent when things are hot!!! I currently have a nice blanket double wrapped over my legs as well as this amazing blanket style hoodie, that is all fleecy and warm and I honestly have been living in it for the last month (thank you Dad and Emma, definitely an amazing Christmas present!!!) The picture to the left really does this snuggle blanket hoodie no justice (I should probably wash it eventually though... if it can be parted from my body!)

HbA1c Levels

I may have briefly mentioned about HbA1c levels in some previous posts. Long story short, HbA1c is "glycated haemoglobin" which clinicians and doctors use to gauge a diabetics average control over a period of 3 months (I'll leave it at this for now, but be sure, I will be posting the good old science behind HbA1cs in the future!!!)

In the Winter and colder months, HbA1c levels can be raised in type 1 diabetics. One of the reasons that I am aware of for this (and oh man, I miss my Biomedical Science masters so much) is because higher blood sugars can help you feel warmer. The higher the sugar content in blood, the harder it is for the blood to cool down (Sloane Susan, 2019). All in all, it is a natural reaction for the body to help protect itself in extreme temperatures, which is pretty smart if you ask me!

Peripheral Neuropathy

Colder weather can thicken your blood and if you suffer from neuropathy, thicker blood can make it more difficult to notice the effect the cold is having on the affected appendage. I have always suffered badly with really cold hands and feet, and the foot that has neuropathy suffers the worst; my right foot can heat up and get warm after I've exited the cold but my bad foot will feel frozen for hours after, especially my big toe. 

At this point in time, I am lucky as I have not yet entirely lost the feeling in my neuropathic foot. Overtime, it will happen eventually and I have been told that the pain will also get worse (sharp shooting nerve pains as well as pins and needle sensations) but I have medication to help reduce this for now. 

One of the ways I try to compensate for this, is by wearing shoes with decent soles and not open, as well as thick/thermal socks. It isn't much, but it helps remove the pain a little. I also have an amazing Fiance who will give me foot massages which really helps encourage the blood flow around the foot. I also like to take hot baths when I can, as in a bath, I cannot feel any of the neuropathy sensations in my foot which is rather pleasant! 

Medication and Supplies

This has never affected me but it is something you're made very aware of when you are first introduced to insulin. Insulin can be affected by extreme temperatures as it is a protein, and proteins can degrade in heat or cold. Think of it like meat, you leave it in the heat and it will go funny, freezing could cause freezer burn and ruin it's integrity. Cool temperature is the best for preserving insulin which is why we store it in the fridge, but it does last for 30 days outside of the fridge, so when it is in use and away from the bad temps, it is completely fine. 

Blood tests kits can also malfunction in cold weather, due to the batteries and electronics... but warming it up in your hands tends to make them work again... works for mine!!

Depression

So, everyone knows the cold weather can lower moods and mental health, as well as cause a lack of vitamin D that can help contribute to low moods, being tired and achy. One thing that I strive hard to hope I can teach people is that STRESS AND DEPRESSION AND DIABETES DO NOT GO WELL TOGETHER. 

I have struggled for the longest possible time in my life with stress and depression and it has actually taken me YEARS to reach a point where I have removed a large amount of the stress that was causing my diabetes to mess up to the point that end of last year, for the first time in 15 years, I had a HbA1c level that was in my target range and single figures. It took removing family members and thinking of myself a lot more, but sometimes the toxic needs to go so you can get better and the figures for my bloods prove it.

Alas, the cold weather does get me down and there have been times, normally when I am at work, that the cold and the typical work stress has caused my sugars to raise and I can't pinpoint why or what did it. Basically folks, try to take care of your health and your mental health as best you can in these icky months. 

Illness and Bugs

Winter sucks for cold and flu and chest infections and sinusitis and the list is damn long and I have had most of them at some point or another over the winter months. Illness is a whole new ball game with diabetes... for example, from my own experience, a sniffle feels like a cold, a cold feels like flu and flu is basically like pneumonia or erm... death, a pro-longed stay in hospital... and so forth. Not fun. Not only that though, the cold weather doesn't only raise your blood sugar levels but illness can also make them even higher. Also, antibiotics can sometimes mess with your blood sugars as well, so illness really is not a fun thing to deal with when you have diabetes!

I make sure I get a flu jab every year for that extra dose of protection... plus I also work in a hospital soooooo definitely need that extra protection. Alas, working in a hospital has its disadvantages, what with all the bugs creeping around and me personally, I do not have a great immune system and bugs seem to love me (throw back to start of October and the two week gastroenteritis I suddenly developed at work). 

How I look after myself in the winter months

 I've made a little list of all the things I do when its chilly to help keep my diabetes in some sense of normal, obviously, things don't always work out as planned but the best you can do is try!

• Always wrap up warm and snug, add more layers if your cold. I tend to wear tights under my trousers and really thick socks, as well as layering up my hoodies and tees. Hats and slippers are good as well and a decent pair of gloves can help when you're out and about.
• Don't be afraid to use the heating (if you can afford it, we know it can be pricey). Sometimes needs must and keeping warm can help prevent bugs taking hold.
• Blood testing more when its cold can help you adjust insulin appropriately.
• Make sure to get a flu jab!
• Hand washing is so important when out and about as well as ensuring that you cover your mouth when you cough and sneeze and try your best to avoid people with bugs if you can, alas that is not always possible.
• Make sure insulin and blood test kits don't get too cold, so keeping them in a warm space like an insulated bag is always useful.
• If you're feeling low, be sure to talk to people and reach out... talking is a good way to deal with your feelings and emotions and you can often feel better when you see friends and family.
• 
  
• Foot massages (or hand, depending on where the neuropathy is) is a great way to keep the blood flowing and can help with neuropathy as well as being quite relaxing. 
• Hot water bottles are your friends, but make sure to use them with a cover as you don't want to burn yourself (diabetics can take longer to heal after all!!!)

I think that is everything for now! And hopefully I've helped to give you some tips to keep warm over these horrible months!!

Also, thank you again to everyone who has followed me and viewed my blog! I am nearly at 300 pageviews... thank you all so much ❤️❤️❤️