[[0056]] Day 37 of Self-Isolation

Radio silence keeps creeping in. I am so sorry friends, but its okay, I am still here, just had nothing to really write home about haha!

Day 37 {And we are in to week 6... I think... I am kinda loosing count).

Afternoon!

I will first say, as stated in the above mini thing, I am so sorry for the radio silence! But honestly, I have not done a huge amount since Sunday other than arting, Animal Crossing and loafing around in my PJs whilst ignoring my mental health. Oh well, shit happens. I am taking it one step at a time slowly to get through the mental health jargon (I talk about mental health on this diary post, be sure to check it out!) 

So, today, I had a bath (in the middle of the day no less, oh my!) and I have actually put clothes on, and I intend on trying to do this the next few days, more specifically, after I have had my breakfast (which means I also plan on making sure I am up no later than 9am). I was going to make more of an effort today and do some kind of goth Slytherin pride aesthetic, but I forgot I chucked loads of  black shirts and I am too fat for the other half's shirts so Miyavi merch it is. Either way, I am glad the red is holding in my hair at least! And it still looks vibrant considering I redyed it before my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Gonna try and style or at least look after my hair as one of my mental health baby steps, but also make sure I remember to clean my teeth as soon as I remember too as well as remember to take my tablets in the morning, cos I keep forgetting. And if I ain't in the mood for nice clothes, big hoodies and gig merch is also okay. 

I've also been super busy arting whilst I have been off, but this time, I have been doing some traditional work!

I am going to be sliding back into some digital work now this piece is done (check these links to view previous arts Rillaboom and Espeon, Lugia and Marshadow). But, I don't ever want digital art to take away from traditional, I just want it to be a new skills I have acquired which will be beneficial for graphics and quick commissions; traditional art is always going to be my home, no matter how expensive the materials are or how much the pressure from shading makes my hand and wrist hurt. This Eeveelution piece has taken me WAY too long, but I am glad it is finally complete. And for once, I like more things about it than hate, such as cute derpy Eevee and Sylveon's colouration, as well as Umbreon and Vaporeon... all in all, it was a damn fun piece to do! It has actually given me an idea for a rainbow piece I want to do with Eeveelutions, cos I wanted to stick this in the window so people could see it and be happy but I don't want the sunlight to ruin it. Before I round off this art post, be sure to check out my art page on facebook, Aluria Arts).  

OH YEAH, I have seen my friends... don't worry, we social distanced! They have a wall and we stand on one side and talk to them in their doorway and we have a chilled smoke together and a chat, and you know what, I kinda live for those days... cos it means I get out and I see people and it... it just makes everything feel better. That being said, said friends are honestly absolute LIFE SAVERS. Not only did they help me out with unsalted butter for baking blondies last week, but they dropped me some rizla yesterday as the other half took the box he bought to work and after I rescued their parcel from porch bandits, I asked if they could grab me some zero sugar energy drink cos the other half forgot, and they got me a sexy bottle and FINALLY, the other half didn't leave me enough bacci for today (which could have made me enter the now aptly named hell zone) but it's okay, cos friends saved the day! And just... this would all be so much harder if we didn't know such amazing people. Love you guys ❤️❤️❤️

Speaking of friends, my cat has left me for trash pile in the sun. I don't blame her, the weather is lovely, but seriously... cat... why? That is rubbish for the skip you silly moose and it will not be there forever (even though it feels like it at the moment!) At least I can guarantee she will have her happy tower of crap for another couple of weeks, if not longer haha. It's the fact she also has her own tunnel to get to the bottom of the garden as well as a climbing tower and a bloody box to sleep in at the top. She is honestly living the trash queen dream. Silly kitty. 

But yeah, she now ignores me cos she has the new love in her life. Until it gets cold at night, then she will come in and not leave me alone. 

Lastly, the Harry Potter advent calendar for mental health. Again, I cannot stress enough how much I love opening this in the mornings when things seem gloomy. We are reaching the end now though, well, about just over a week left, so I need to look into buying a new one for the remainder of time I am stuck indoors, maybe the pop figure one... hmmm...

Anyway, I have loved the little gifts for each day recently! Some cute lil pencils and a pencil sharpener and I already have a pencil case waiting for them, but also this cute Gryffindor pin (for when I am not feeling all Slytherin pride as I do atm) and a deathly hallows keyring which is going straight onto one of my bags cos I am a sucker for keyrings of any kind... and my Harry Potter bag has quite the collection. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Well, that is it. Like I said, not much is going on. I am just taking each day as it comes and I try to do some kind of activity each day. I think dance exercise might be next... need to speak to the other half about getting Just Dance for the Switch, so we shall see what happens.

Stay safe friends, stay healthy, stay happy!

Over and out, mes amigos!

[[0055]] Day 33 of Self Isolation

Oops, I missed a day. This is what I get for arting my ass off but OMG I have missed it!!! Oh and no idea what is going on in the world right now either. No fucks give, totally.

Day 33 (I can't believe I broke the chain at the one month mark!)

Okay, hey friends. 

I must apologise for not doing my day-to-day blog yesterday... I was arting till about 2:30am in the morning and I just did not have the energy to look at the screen any longer so figured I would do a two for one today instead.

Where to start... where to start...

I guess I'll start with the advent calendar doors, especially yesterdays because ho damn I am gonna use it so much! 

SO, yesterdays door was this cute deathly hallows necklace and I am honestly gonna wear the heck out of it. I am such a sucker for geeky jewellery so this pleases me on so many levels. Today's door 12 had the other half of the temp house tattoos which I now think I might blu tac to the office wall because I love the designs so much!!!

I noticed merchoid have pre-orders up for this years calendar and I am rather tempted to get it for myself for Christmas this year as I absolutely LOVE this one!!! Cannot wait to see what I get tomorrow!

TBH tomorrow is a better day already anyway, as I am only in the house all day on my own for four days and not five, as the other half managed to book an annual leave day for tomorrow so we can has long weekend together. No idea what we are gonna do, prob play games and drink energy drink, but I am totally cool with that!!! 

If I am honest, today and yesterday have kinda blurred into one as I have essentially done the same stuff today as yesterday, although today had some improvements by the wonderful form of LEGO! AHhhhh I love lego so much and I have been saying for ages that I wanted some lego to play with, so the other half picker me up some Harry Potter lego which was selling cheap at B&M yesterday and I made it this morning. It's also the scene from Goblet of Fire when Voldy comes back and it is honestly just the best thing. Might have to go back to B&M after this is all over or whilst it still has stock, and pick up some more when paid... cos seriously, geeky Lego is best Lego and just, I love Lego so much. Although now that I think about it, I didn't have cookies, a juice box or wear a onesie whilst I made it... I need to rectify this and get some more, obvs.

Besides that, all I have really been doing, bar finally putting our washing away this morning and putting fresh bedding on, is arting on the tablet. I love it, and can honestly just spend hours amusing and distracting myself on there while I use it. 

Here is what I made:

The top one I made for my friend Stu at work, and it's his fave Pokemon, Rillaboom. OMG I think 60 layers went into that beasty boy but it was worth it. The Espeon on did for day for my friend at work and Stu's wife, Nicola, who loves Espeon and it seemed only fair they both got one each! That piece is a little smaller hence quicker to do and although my background skills are still meh, I love it a lot... prob cos I had to look at a bunch of cat references to make sure I got the pose right haha

I am back to traditional art again tomorrow/Tuesday as I need to finish my friends Eeveelution commission which I have been putting off for ages. It'll be good for me to do though, so it reminds me of what I am capable of with traditional materials.

I have also been debating potentially doing little cheap digital commissions to help raise pennies to go towards the monthly pay back of the laptop, and it'll keep me busy and earning whilst I am home as well. I might think on this some more next week and see what happens.

Anyway, I am pooped and wanna play me some games cos I have kinda been neglecting games lately. Plus I have an adorable new animal coming to my Animal Crossing game, so I need to spend some more time shifting things about and so on... get that island up to 5 stars!

So, stay safe everyone, love you all!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0053]] Day 30 of Self-Isolation

Today has been A-MA-ZING! And if you did not read that in Craig Revel Horwood's voice, you suck, darling.

Day 30 (... it's been a month since I properly left the house like a normal person would...)

Actually, I have been out twice since being in iso and both of those were for medical appointment's so it doesn't count.

ANYWAY, hellooooo!

Today, I am actually writing this from my new chromebook, a sexy lil 2-in-1 laptop that I shouldn't not have got finance for (even though it ups my credit rating when I pay back like a good human) but I did get and it is honestly a massive game changer for me creatively! It is honestly the smoothest and most seamless machine I have ever used, bar learning how to do things a lil differently like saving photos and so on but like, I'll get there. I absolutely love this thing to the moon and back and it is honestly the best thing I have ever done for myself.

Bar a good HbA1C. But those come and go. This will stick for a couple of years.

So yeah, got confirmation when I got up this morning that a lovely gentleman, named Steve would be dealing this bad boy and ho damn, I was stalking his deliveries until he got here. I was both so anxious and so excited all at once. Thankfully, my bloods remained good regardless, so that is something at least. 

I guess you want some pictures of this bad boy then?

So there it is, my Acer Spin 13 with built in Wacom pen. This beasty boy is 13.5" as well so it's a decent sized screen for me to deal with what with my dodgy eyesight and son on.

And I think that is why I love this thing so damn much. Like, I love drawing and stuff, I do, but I don't do it a lot any more, and when I do, I can't draw for extended periods of time because my eyes go blurry and sometimes to the point my glasses won't work, like, if I could zoom in on my work for my lineart, it'd be fine. And this is one of the reasons why this is a game changer for me art wise and that is because I can zoom in, get rid of the rubbish, work on detail like I used to and it is honestly the best bloody thing.

Oh, its tanky battery life is nice as well.

AND I can upload straight to insta now too, bonus wooooo!!!

But yes, this sexy boy now sits pride of place on my desk in the office, looking snazzy amongst my pens and shizzle which may gain some dust now, but at least they're pretty to look at!

So yeah, there it is opened out in laptop glory. Obvs, I use the stand to prop it up when I draw (I got the stand from uni and it is perfect for turning the lappy into a drawing machine!) 

You probably want to see what I arted haha! I figured I would go with Pokemon because that is what I post most on my art page, Aluria Arts! I used to love drawing artist trading cards so figured this was the best place to start... and bear in mind I don't normally, and have never, drawn digitally before, I actually did something decent and I can't believe it!!!

So this is the original piece...

So I doodled this earlier and scanned it in on the Lenovo and this is what I came up with!!!

So this is what I made haha! Not too bad for my first go arting online. And it was so easy to do once I figured out how to deal with layers and colour stuff in with the Wacom pen and then blend and stuff too and OMG backgrounds are so much easier to do now!!! This is like honestly one of the best things I have ever done, like, seriously. I am so happy!

And I think the reason I can use this stuff is because I can use the Wacom pen... that thing is amazing. It's not far off arting properly anyway, and I think this is why this stuff works for me. I def made the right choice in art laptop... I need to figure out what else to draw now!!! Might look at some of these "Do this in your own style" stuff... but, I should probably get a little bit more used to layers and orders of layers first!!

I thought my unicorn birthday Hype bag would arrive togday but it didn't so I have a feeling that will probably come tomorrow. Also, MUCC released their EU vinyl so I may perhaps order that cos we have some pennies left before payday for once. Either way, I am in a good place, everything is amazing, nothing could ruin this...

... oh, maybe the three more weeks of lockdown. But hey, this is week 5 of being in the house for me so it's not the end of the world in that respect.

We had to have some essential maintenance done on the house today as well... and I think this is another reason why my day has been awesome, I got to see my dad! He had to come and unblock a rather dodgy sink blockage that if Magnus did what he did before and knocked a tap, would have caused a flood. We social distanced properly though, stood in different rooms and stuff but honestly, it was just nice to see my Dad, it's been five weeks after all!! Oh, and the bathroom sink works now too, wooooo!

Best get to rounding off this blog and sharing new artwork everywhere as I am a tiny weeny bit sad like that plus my art page has been dead for so long that it is gonna need a kick up the ass to get people viewing again!

Obviously, we can't forget the morning door of this wonderful mental health advent calendar!! It was a damn good one today, a cute pin!!! I'm gonna save it for my work lanyard next Christmas, cos like, it'd be weird to wear Christmas in July (or May, whenever I get to go back).

Anyway, I have to go, need to sleep and finish up touching up bits and bobs round the house so I can whip the hoover through finally (yes, I did do some tidying today, the living room looks much better now!!!)

So, until tomorrow, stay safe everyone, don't kill each other, make love not war... I dunno.

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0052]] Day 29 of Self-Isolation

I have no idea what to write here other than my mental health has taken a dip, therefore my bloods have also taken a rise and my eyesight is blurry so this is probably full of typos).

Day 29 (And the start of week number 5, dun dun dunnn!)

Evening folks and I apologise in advance if this is full of typos but... my vision is really blurry tonight and my diabetes has decided to take a big nope out and just, urgh. I was hoping to be writing this sat in the office with my new laptop alas, it was not meant to be. Currys PCW have said it is dispatched and DPD is arguing that it has not been so... if the reviews I have read are correct, I am in for either a damn long wait even though I paid a tenner for delivery today, or, it won't turn up at all and will be thrust into the never ending cycle of rude customer service loads of people have been dealing with amongst other things I have read. SO, my fingers are crossed for tomorrow but I don't hold out any hopes. Worst part is, I won't hear ought till potentially 11am tomorrow if they do have it or not... just... urgh why me? The other half's new coat arrived today and that was only ordered and shipped yesterday! If I had known Currys PCW would be like this, I would have just ordered the one on Argos instead. Urgh.

It seems pathetic that something so stupid would get me down but, it really has. I cleaned and finished the office ready to go for arting digitally and so on, started looking into free apps I could get to well, do the arts on and just, everything got thwarted before it even began. Okay, I'll stop being selfish and melodramatic but I am honestly just major bummed out right now. 

Anyway, other news.

I have actually finished the office, bar the Odeon exclusive posters I am waiting for to arrive to complete sets, but, the room is done! A big shout out to my mate Sarah, for dropping some blu tac round with me to help get the last of the posters up! Thank you! The room looks banging!!!

I promised pictures of my reading area today so... here ya go...

So what do you guys thing? A nice lil corner for being comfy and reading and imagining the days away haha I cannot wait to find out where the hell I put my Dan Brown book I was reading and finishing it at last! (I love Dan Brown's work, not just because they make you think and want to go places and investigate things even though his work is a work of fiction but because the chapters are nice and short, and that is one thing I prefer with my books, makes me keep attention for longer and keep on reading because it feels like you have read more!) Finally got shelves for Marvel, Pokemon and Star Wars as well which I am thrilled about, my build-a-bears have never looked so happy! I'm now waiting for Magnus to refind the armchair and start sleeping in it again haha, or the office chair, either or.

I still have some finishing touches to do around the house, like hoovering and sprucing up the living room, but everything big is essentially done now, I don't know what I am going to do with myself! Well, I have ideas, we shall see what happens haha!

I may have not received the art laptop today but, my new PowerA switch case came and I am happy about that. I seem to be a bit of a sucker for PowerA at the moment, as I have a PowerA pro XBox controller, as well as a Pikachu switch controller and headset, all by the same brand (and the Pikachu stuff does match my Let's GO Eevee switch and I am a sucker for things that match...)

Look at them together, it's a match made in heaven! I also got the console case, not just cos it's Pikachu and PowerA and matches my stuff but because I didn't have enough sections for the games I have in the other one... and this has space for 9... plus I've plans to buy other games too, so need room for them. I have been swapping games out of games cases for the last couple of days and I am not a fan! More so because I keep forgetting to put the cases back on the shelf... it's a silly thing, but pretty case is pretty and matching things makes me happy.

OH YEAH, MUCC did another live premier stream on Youtube today and omg the live was incredible. They announced next week, for Europe, that the live will be brought to us by Yukke, their bassist, I am so excited!!!

Also opened another advent calendar door this morning, what with it being the start of a new week and my fifth week away from my work in a hospital! I am still missing the place, but I am happy I am getting this time to dedicate to the house and take it all at my own pace instead of rushing and feeling poorly n stuff. 

I do wish I had left today's door for when I realised that my laptop wasn't coming... because it was these cute adorable page markers and ha, I was a sucker for page markers at uni and some of my books still have them in, as well as my revision notes, haha!!! I had Star Wars ones, Disney, paw prints, some I used for colour coding... anyway, these are so damn cute and adorable, and I might write some happy words to a couple and stick them up in the office for when I am feeling blue and uninspired in there.

Well, that is it from me for today. I'll be back tomorrow at some point around this time, may be earlier, may be later, who knows?

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0039]] Day 16 of Self-Isolation

Appreciating people is so damn important at a time like this. Tonight was a #clapforkeyworkers and it was felt from my tiny corner of the city, but you could hear the claps echoing as well as the cheers and horns and it was so lovely to be a part of this again. I don't think it'll keep its pace for every Thursday, but I'll go out regardless and clap my ass off if I have to.

Day 16 (Outside was weird. So weird. I couldn't wait to be home.)

Evening one and all, and welcome back to my day-by-day diaries of being stuck in my house. I thought I would have run out of things to write about but nope, I am still going strong.

First, I want to post a link to a fundraiser going on on Facebook for one of Geeks Events organisers, Mark Longman, who passed away with suspected Covid-19 symptoms. Geeks Events was one of the very first conventions I ever attended, and where I debuted my old Doctor Strange cosplay. I did not know Mark personally, but I am grateful for all that he did so please, help support the family in saving for a fantastic send off for him when this is all over. They are so close to their £2000 target, any little helps!

It's quite sobering, knowing that this virus is creeping closer and closer to people we know, or people that we know other people know well. And this city, this county, is only small. Just please, everyone, stay safe, stay at home!

So, today, I felt pretty good. Nice clothes (repping the amazing Punk Paws Brand), clean hair (styled thanks to my bed and sleep, wooo!) and all-n-all, feeling okay. Which I needed to be because it was my first trip out the house today for a very important appointment and sadly, I needed a confidence boost because I was very nervous and was not sure what I was going to be walking in to. 

Anyway, I'll get to that later... I did my first stream today where no-one hopped on, well, two rando viewers appeared but they didn't interact or ought, but I tried and said hello to them regardless. Either way, it was weird and made me realise how hard it is to stream without other people to talk to. Alas, I also realised that I enjoy streaming because it gives me a chance to talk random stuff like I would if I was at work, so in that sense, it helped. But it was still weird nonetheless. 

I did get Genesect finally though! I honestly didn't think I would manage it because I stupidly thought I would lose the research if I didn't complete it. Pokemon GO was working in my favour this week because they are having a Trickster Pokemon event in which trickster Pokemon spawn, so in this case, Foongus and Voltorb... of which Voltorb is electric type and what I specifically needed to complete part 4 of the Genesect research to actually get Genesect. 

Also, in my favour, was the actual stream itself. It actually went a lot smoother than previous and I kept my chill when it wouldn't capture my PoGO screen and boom, sorted super quick. The sound went iffy a couple of times and the camera froze twice in two very unflattering angles, but either way, I got the Pokemon I was after and I got to stream a lot of it which I will admit, was a lot of fun. I am gutted I don't live nearer to a gym to stream raids and so on, but I do hope that Niantic do increase the radius for reaching stops so I can reach the one by my house instead of drifting. Either way, I got the Mon, the stream was good, happy days.

As mentioned in the opener, I did have to go to the hospital today for an ultra sound on my kidneys and bladder, basically, to see if there is anything more going on then my diabetes affecting them, and to see if they had improved from when I last had an ultra sound when I stayed in hospital last year. By the sounds of what they were saying, the affected organs didn't look woolly anymore, which means no Pyelonephritis this time, but I don't know if they saw ought else. I had whispers of a potential cyst on a kidney but I think I have to wait for renal to get back in touch with me about it.

Needless to say, going into town and then the hospital was WEIRD. So weird and surreal, it's like I am living in a different city. Or maybe I have been cooped up for that long that it doesn't matter where I am, this is clearly a different place, time, dimension, I don't even know right now. But yeah, obvs, no-one on the streets much, a couple of dog walkers near to my house when waiting for the bus, but then getting on the bus was just even more weird (expect to hear the word weird a lot right now).

I tend to sit on the seats near the driver, because it has a bell to ring so no reaching over people to get it but also because if the bus gets full, I don't have to push past loads of people. Alas, those seats are all now blocked off with tape on some buses, signs on the others. I guess being a bus driver, the less people sit near you, the better, cos it must be difficult to social distance when seeing so many people on buses. Which tbh, on all the buses I got on today, there was no more than 4 people on each one, which again, great for social distancing but proper weird because I'm so used to the 16 being proper busy down my end, like you often have to share seats. SO yeah, weird. The bus station was baron as well... of course I had to get a pic. There is normally a good 10+ people at each bay... not anymore. It is for the best though, and some keyworkers do need the services the buses provide. It needs to be done.

I had 20mins to wait for my bus home from the station so I took it as an opportunity to go to Heron as I had been informed by a lot of people that they were fully stocked. And they were. As I was walking around Heron, I heard one of the staff members saying as of today, NHS staff get 10% off and I was the first NHS person to come in. I felt guilty and explained that I am off cos of illness, but they were lovely nonetheless and said even if I am not out there now, I can go back when this is all over and help build everything back up again. Which was proper sweet. We didn't really need a lot, but they had some fab deals on treats we can't normally afford so I had to pick up the other half his fave pizza subs as well as some sexy Ben and Jerry's ice cream, as well as staple energy drinks and a few sweet treats for me so my lunch stuff stretches. I got a lot for the £13 I spent, and I went home very happy.

Town however, was also weird. Again, most times of the day and even early morning, there is so much more activity, like a crowd of young college students outside Maccies for example... but nothing. So empty and so quiet, almost like waking up in an alternative universe where everyone but you and a couple of others have just turned to dust or some Marvel shizzle. Kind of like a bad horror movie. It just was so quiet and eerie and honestly, I could not wait to get home. 

So, that is it for my day. I decided to take it easy when I got back, chilled and played games whilst letting the washing machine and tumble dryer do its think in the background. I have found my diabetes to be quite on edge as I have been, all day today because of going out and you never know who is carrying said bad virus, but, my sugars are starting to stable out now, finally. I keep forgetting what anxiety does to my bloods, and I should have medded more this morning alas the damage was already done when I woke up, so it didn't matter either way. And to be honest, I think I did stay safe whilst I was out... I kept my distance, used sanitiser when necessary. Kept within markers in the shops I went to. Washed my hands and clothes when home. I have done what I can to keep myself safe today. I am also proud of the hospital I work in and the way they are adjusting to the situation, what with spacing the chairs out in waiting areas, masks and aprons, and other precautions. We can get through this... I don't know how yet, but we will. 

Alas, it's time to go, with that horrendous reminder it is a week till my birthday (thanks for this yesterday Tom Nook, ya dick) and I still have no idea what is happening. Will I be on my own throughout the day or not? Will the presents I bought myself arrive on time? Will anyone watch the live stream if I do it? Will I be able to set up the live stream whilst the other half is at work? Will I be sad that plans aren't going ahead? Will I be reminded that the last couple of months have been bad and I am due a break? I know I am being selfish, I know I am but, dear Cheesus on a bicycle, I am honestly done with bad news for one year!

Anyway, hope you are all well. Keep safe friends and family and friends that are family.

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0037]] Day 14 of Self-Isolation

Good day is good. I am feeling good. For once, everything is actually GOOD.

Day 14 (Shiny new pretty things... what shall I treat myself to next?)

Good evening everyone and thank you for tuning in to another blog entry of my Self-Isolation diaries! I do hope they have been riveting and fun to read! So again, thank you for popping by again! We've hit two weeks now, and I am still not sure how much longer this will be for.

As a good friend pointed out to me after yesterday's very accomplished post, I have finally hit 1000 pageviews so again, another big and massive thank you to you all!!! I am doing every thing I can to get my blog out there and viewed and so forth so eventually I can earn using adsense on it, so all your pageviews, follows and so forth, really help me out on my mission!

If you saw yesterdays post, I mentioned that I gutted out the upstairs spare room to turn it into a cat room, that is only spare on the rare occasion we have guests. Well, an update for all my avid cat lovers out there, the room is in use, by none other than who I expected, Pom Pom. She loves a mattress and duvet on the floor, she doesn't care which mattress it is or what duvet (I did give them the best one tbh), I knew she would be all over that mattress and she is! She seems so happy up there, I have hardly seen her today! I just need to try and get Magnus to use it, her and Pom do get on, but Magnus seems to prefer the sofa, or this box in the office that needs to go, but I did get a new box today so she might like that instead, I hope.

So, I am going to speak about my diabetes first, because honestly, I am so proud of myself. I have two bloods at 6.8 and 6.9 today and I am thrilled, and my blood was 5.5 before lunch today as well. I did wake up with very high bloods, but that was my bad due to having a hypo before bed last night and then I did binge ate everything I could find. Basically, I smashed a pack of doritos and a bar of chocolate. 

But, I did a correction dose with my breakfast (which was only 30g of carbs this morning!) and my bloods were 5.5 before lunch, which was fantastic! 

So, what have I eaten today and how much have I medded? Well, breakfast is pictured left, which was banana and granola with greek yoghurt and a teaspoon of honey, so I did 10 units, because I have to do 3 units for the carbs, an extra 2 because its the morning and 5 was for correction. So come lunch, my bloods were 5.5 and I had two flatbreads with cheese and cucumber, a packet of sunbites and a miniroll as a treat, so that was about 65g of carbs, so I did 8 units of insulin. Before dinner my blood was 6.9 so tonight I had salad (lettuce, cherry tomatoes, red onion, cucumber and pepper) with a small baked potato (blasted in the microwave then crisped up in the oven) with cheese and butter as well as hard boiled eggs which I removed the yolks, added some garlic, herbs, paprika and pepper to and boom, stuffed eggs. This meal, can you believe it, is about 40g carbs, but there was so much food, so only 5 units were done.

All in all, I am loving the time I have free to make food at home at the moment and it is helping my diabetes a lot. I do also hope that it helps with my heart hypertension and kidneys but for me to see those effects, I need to continue to keep doing this kind of food, even when I am at work, so not too sure how I will manage that yet. Which reminds me, I need to ask the other half to pick up some plain cashew nuts and plain peanuts, and maybe some basa fillets, need to get my good cholesterol up and the bad down while I am at it. I want to live for as long as possible after all.

In other news, thanks to paying £1.70 for shipping, the parcel I ordered yesterday came today and it was so nice to have a treat. Also, kudos for the post man, for knocking on the door and waiting two metres away to see if I would answer. Nice to see social distancing in practice. Anyway, what did I order?

POKEMON CARDS! Haha, cos I am a big kid and honestly, I haven't bought any for a while so what better time to rectify this than now, especially as I have saved money on bus tickets for work. 

Found out Chaos Cards were still accepting orders so I hoped right on over and made a phat order. Well, kind of fat, I saved some money due to some discount codes and I couldn't get a bunch of just Sword and Shield base set boosters but I managed to order those from another site of which I am sure I will write about when they arrive (hopefully end of the week, but they haven't finished processing the order yet so God know's what is going on there).

So, what did I order for myself?

So, in my order, I got the Toxtricity V Collection Box, which came with an oversized Toxtricity V card and a regular sized version as well as two packs of Sword and Shield base set, a pack of XY Evolutions and Cosmic something or another (which I haven't collected so wasn't too fussed by), as well as two blister packs, with a promo Gossifleur and Wooloo and cute coins to stick up on my office was as well as a folder for the Sword and Shield base set which is so damn pretty. All in all, I am happy with what I got, and I honestly love how pretty the new cards are, some are so damn cute!

So, to the left are all the cards I got from the booster Sword and Shield packs. They gave  me so much joy and kept me busy as I organised them into their new home in their special folder as well as logging them on my online app to make sure I can keep up to date with what I do and do not have when I am out and about mon card shopping. 

I am awaiting 7 more booster packs from Magic Mad House as Chaos didn't have any boosters for sale as out of stock, so I am hoping I get some more good card pulls from them. I did actually get two nice full art cards from these packs which I am thrilled about and I have flicked through the list of cards in the set and there are soooo many pretty ones, I can't wait to see if I get them! 

I actually love how chilled and calm things are when I am sorting out and looking through my Pokemon cards. Like, so ridiculously chilled so I may have to get some more haha! I did actually take a moment to sort out the stray cards we had kicking round and put them into sleeves and their respective binders, but honestly, the boring and methodical case of putting the cards in order, pulling out doubles, slipping them into their appropriately numbered sleeve and then logging it on my app is just way too therapeutic. I even took a moment to look through all the cards I do have, none of the sets are complete, but some of the pages are and some full arts are really pretty, as well as some damn good rares as well, oh my gosh, I was so calm and happy and chilled that over an hour had slipped by and I realised I hadn't done any cleaning today!!! 

I noticed when I was looking on the website that it looks like another Sword and Shield set is up for pre-order and I'm not gonna lie, I am slightly tempted. I have loved the cards I got today so far, some of the artwork is cute as heck and I can't wait to see what the next set could look like. Either way, it was all so much fun and so exciting and I cannot wait till my next parcel arrives!

That being said, I have been looking online for things I could get for my birthday, and I found a couple of Advent Calendars that were Harry Potter for last year, full of jewellery and socks and stuff, and figured I could order one and open a door a day whilst I am in iso? Figured it would be fun, although I am not sure what the other half things.

The birthday is creeping nearer though, and, I am still not sure what to expect. I think, if I can guarantee I can get a Colin the Caterpillar cake (or the white choc one if its there), make sure there is food and drink in I like, make sure the streaming stuff is set up for birthday Animal Crossing and maybe Pokemon and then, I don't really know? I might just blow some money on my self but I have to be sensible which I why, bar what I have had arrive today, I haven't blown any cash and I can't exactly go in to town atm to smash my bank in Primark. Either way, it's over a week away, don't need to worry about it yet, there is always next year after all, or that is what I keep telling myself.

Selfishly though, and I apologise for the doom and gloom, but... I don't know if I can wait a whole year for a bang big celebration the way I wanted to do it, to make up for the last six months of hell I have been through with my health and the fact nothing is getting better with said health. I don't know if I can wait a year for something good to enjoy, have fun with, not give a care in the world about... I just, I just... want something to look forward to that is nearer and not so far away. I do feel like I deserve a break.

Anyway, that is it for today everyone!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0030]] Day 7 of Self-Isolation

Lockdown finally happened guys, but is it too little, too late?

Day 7 (Shit is getting real guys, shit is getting REAL)

So, a week of self-isolation is done. And it is getting harder and harder, especially when the other half is at work (NHS necessary worker, essential worker? Either way, important worker). Like, I seem to be alright-ish at keeping it together when he is home but as soon as he is gone, it's like every little things is a lot more worse then it should be and the emotions take over. 

But today, I have remembered that I need to try and do a mood sammich for what has been going on, for structure is important and I want to try and stay as consistent as I can.

WE HAVE the most wonderful friends!!!

We had a delivery last night of this cute little bundle of important things you don't realise you need until you can't easily get them. But yes, we had a delivery of 4pints of milk and some eggs which OMG we have bacon to go with those eggs and I cannot wait to smash them tomorrow morn for breakfast with the other half. Might even dig the last couple of slices of bread out the freezer for these bad boys, or maybe the wraps, bacon and egg wraps are always good.

Obvs after this, queue one heck of an hour long FB video call as we pissed ourselves laughing over FB filters and shizzle. My face actually hurt, but it was definitely needed, although when you realise that out of the four of us, this is only week 1 (well, week 2 for me) of staying home, this bodes well right haha? 

I forgot to mention, but the other half brought me home some nice sweet treats that Costa gave away at the hospital as well as a Subway (what with all the places closing) and OMG it was the best thing I have eaten since I ran out of crisps on Saturday night, so yes, yesterday was tough in the day but the evening did certainly pick up.

The food situation is getting... interesting though. I've realised that we are now running down to the last few potato items and a lot of pasta 'n' sauces and I have done nothing really but eat either pasta or white rice the last few days and it is badly starting to take its toll on my body (grimly put, can't poop and bloated as hell as well as soooo much lethargy). I try to avoid eating pasta as best as I can but it's kinda all we are starting to have left now so I don't exactly get much choice until we are eventually able to go food shopping at the end of the week (which sorting the logistics for is a phat nightmare). I have to eat and do my insulin but I don't think I can eat any more pasta? I feel like I am going to pop so the daunting reality that is all I might eat for the next two days just sucks. But there is nothing can be done about it. Well, other than eat the left over cheese coleslaw and some white choc coco pops and hope that keeps you going until tomorrow morning haha.

Sadly, we are already asking family for help again cos we honestly have 20p left. I hate asking, I really do. I am checking my bank every hour or so in case any of the refunds have cleared for London but I know it's too soon for that. It's okay, three more sleeps till payday, even if I can't buy anything new as the other half has to do all that on his way home from work. Friday could end up being a pretty grim day.

So. The mental health crap. 

It is bad. It is getting bad anyway. OMG I think, since the other half left today, I must have cried about five or six times over random stupid things I did not need to cry and get frustrated over but not only that, I also hurt my throat by screaming when things just wouldn't work. It sounds so pathetic now that I am typing it out and reading this back to myself but annoyingly, this is what I do when I am on my own, the emotions take over and every little thing seems way bigger than it needs to be.

So one of the things that I think broke me the most, was trying to live stream on my channel over on mixer earlier this afternoon. Noting would go right, so my camera would show but then the game screen wouldn't, and it would keep chopping and changing between the two no matter how many times I shut them down, reset everything and so on. Then I managed both on the screen but something cut off half the camera so had to faff with the layers for my stream again and then it lost the screen feed. I think sound went a couple of times as well. And each time I thought the stream stuff would be ready and I went live and viewed back... it went wrong, I stopped the stream, screamed and cried and screamed and cried some more then tried again. It was hell. Specially as I am trying to eek out the rizla that our wonderful friends dropped round for me as the other half took the only pack we had to work with him... yes, that also made me cry and scream and trash the smoking area in the kitchen too.

I think what made the live stream failing for a solid 45mins worse was the fact I am live streaming so I can talk and respond to those who talk to me in the chat. And I think t hat is what made me cry the most. I needed to speak but it kept going to shit and I just could not. It kept going wrong and what had I done to deserve everything going to shit?

I don't like acting like this, I hate it that this is what I come to when things just keep going wrong and not going right or not being there when needed and so on. It's been so tough. But until the thing goes right or works, I will keep crying and screaming and its the worst. Like I can't wait for the other half to get home so I can find it easier to hold it all back until Thursday when I am on my own again.

But this is what I do. I'm hoping it will ease off when we are paid and at least hopefully, once cars and stuff are sorted, we have the food, drink and baccy we need that the screaming crying freak outs will lessen, if not go cos it'll just be one bad thing at a time, not a bajillion at once. Like, being able and knowing I can go out for a cigarette because we have baccy helps a lot because that is my go to when I hate everything.

On a plus point, I don't think I will be mobile streaming again for a while now anyway... it's going to take too long with incense to stream the end of the Genesect stuff so at least that is one less stress to worry about for now.

I did get very very pissed off with GO Battle League this morning, what with people cheating in a third shield or just in general losing four matches in a row when I'm trying super hard to get to rank 10 rewards as well as get a Coballion encounter. Which I managed by fluke, eventually... but, it's just a game and I know that and yes I know battling is not my thing with Pokemon, it's catching them all and shiny hunting so any other time the game would not bother me, but it was the stupid game that made me so ragey this morning and it carried through everything throughout the day.

I did get the Coballion at least though, by absolute fluke (screen faded and I thought my last mon has faded cos it was damn close to doing so but boom, I won). And then I turned the game off until I live streamed cos ho damn I did want to kill a bitch because I was pissed at a game. 

In other news, I ran out of hypo supplies today so maybe being angry and stressed will keep my bloods up so I don't have a hypo? Not a great way to deal with things but... no hypos means no needing stuff so... seems sound to me (seriously, do not do this fellow diabetic friends, I am the worst kind of human). 

I guess I should end this on the UK's latest news, which was announced at 8:30pm last night... we are now in lockdown. It has to happen and honestly, I fully accept it happening. I do feel it should have happened sooner, but it took people taking the mic at beaches at the weekend for this to finally occur. Better later than never, although I do feel it should have happened sooner.

I know it's not easy, as I am only just completing my first week in iso, and no one likes staying at home. Especially those who are alone or having to isolate away from their loved ones due to illness and/or symptoms. But, this needed to happen and it needed to be done, and should have been done a lot sooner. But hopefully, people have been saved now. Long story short, you need someone to vent at, here I am friends, we are in this together.

Anyway, I'm tired and I definitely need a lie down after the emotional rollercoaster today has been.

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0018]] Week 7 Overview - Diabetic Mini MOT and a touch of partial burnout

I have decided that I am going to start naming these weekly overview posts with one line that ultimately sums up the week. It is appropriate, fitting and very much me. And thinking of whacky names for overview posts, how about like, a rating system for the week overall, after all, some weeks are good and some are just a total burn out... LOL.

I guess, to start with something semi-good for the week. I finally have all the new medication requested for me from the Doctor at the hospital clinic. Not that it is his fault it has been a long wait, I didn't know I needed to call up to push things along a bit quicker. The candesartan I already knew about as that got added to my prescription not long after my Toujeo insulin was, but I had no news on what I was getting to replace Duloxitine. Thankfully, I got a phone call from my Doctor booked and he put me back on mirtazapine straight away and gave me what he called a really good neuropathic medication which is pregabalin. Only downside of the latter is I have to take it twice a day instead of once so it's a whole new thing to remember to do in the evening, but I think I am getting one of those pill dispenser things with times of day and days of the week on soon to help me remember to take them all at the appropriate times. 

Good thing about the new neuro meds is that I no longer feel nauseous all the damn time, which is fantastic as that has been plaguing me since I started taking duloxitine last year; the worst was the sickness every time I ended up in stop-start traffic after work on the bus home, especially when inconsiderate people would glare at me for the weird noises I'd make to stop myself throwing up. I also feel my foot pins and needles less with these meds too, which is another bonus; it doesn't feel like I am clenching something with my toes on my bad foot anymore. Bad thing about the pregabalin is that for some reason, my balance is becoming somewhat off and I seem to drift a lot more than normal; I already have a cracking bruise on my arm from walking into the racking in my office. 

You're probably wondering what the tablets not in a box are, and these, my good friends and family, are the happy sleep pills I had before they were also replaced with the two in one duloxitine. EVERYONE who knows me, knows how badly my sleep has suffered without these, and in turn, my mental health, which has honestly felt like walking on the edge of a knife for the last couple of months. Sleep isn't enough to make me feel better, as are the tablets but they help me keep some kind of bare minimum control on my mental health when things get rough, which they major have been of late. I still feel down and depressed a lot and I am still overwhelmed by the sheer amount of control good diabetes management is seeming to have on my life, but I have my sleep back and I can deal with the world a little bit better now I have these antidepressants back... even if I run the chance of sleeping in my alarm because well, not slept properly in months till now!!!

You are probably wonder what I mean when I mention Diabetic Mini MOT? Well, I lovingly got this name idea from the gentleman doing the diabetic eye screening on Friday morning, after I told him that I had a dietitian appointment after the eye screening appointment.

I cannot tell you much about the eye screening other than look how massive my bloody pupils were after the eye drops... as you can guess, I had to leave work because my vision was all blurry. I'll get the results in a couple of weeks I believe but I know it will be signs of retinopathy, either the same as last time or worse since I can't remember the last time I had an eye screening appointment but I have been stresses as fuck since. 

I saw my dietitian though and was able to tell her the good news about my new long acting insulin and tablets (it was thanks to her that I contacted the hospital diabetes team about new medication last year) so she was happy to see that change at last. You may also remember the highs at lunch time that I mentioned about in other blog reviews and I have been asked to try and do a couple units extra as I may be one of the diabetics that need more in the morning, so let's see how that one goes next week!! 

I was able to admit to her that I was getting extremely overwhelmed with the amount of carb counting every tiny gram of carbohydrate in my food was giving me and that I was terrified to the point where sometimes I just wouldn't carb count or I'd binge eat and do whatever meds to cope. It is still getting to me now as I do not what the diabetes to rule every littler thing I do, and maybe I am wrong and its the demons in my head again, but I feel like having good diabetes is monitoring every little thing, acting towards every little thing, counting every little thing, medding for every little thing and I honestly cannot cope with that right now, it's really difficult. I am however being booked on a three day carb counting course, so fingers crossed, that can help stop making everything so overwhelming for me. 

Because trust me, I am shattered. I keep having to escape A LOT so I just don't think about the future and what will become of me. Which has meant I have started obsessing worse than ever, on the Pokémon games since the new HOME version came out on Switch and Mobile and I just can't stay off it. I want to fill the national dex somehow, and I think the other half is helping me to try and achieve that which is awesome... but yeah, I ended up caught for two days and a half  completing the original Pokémon Moon game as I thought I had finished the dex and had the shiny charm and I was going to hunt shinies to chill out, and then I realised I made a horrible mistake, the dex was not finished, I still needed Cosmog and Solgaleo but I had sent my Lunala to HOME so couldn't get it back to get Cosmog. Queue my panic and flapping as I remembered that GTS was going down on the old games as of the 24th Feb... so I had to run around and catch all the Tapu's on both Moon and Ultra Moon and use one to trade on GTS for Lunala which I used to get my Cosmog, then I put Lunala in the GTS to get SOlgaleo and then I forgot I did not have all the Ultra Beasts, just Nihilego... so queue frantically trading Solgaleo for the UK Buzzwole, followed by trading an UB exclusive from MOON for a UK exclusive from Sun and I thought I had got them all but didn't realise Necrozma was in this one... so had to go get him too. And don't forget spending a good 6 hours trying to evolve to get my Silvally for the dex. 

All in all, the stress was worth it and I know avoidance is not the answer to my mental health cheating me out of a break, but this obsessing is giving me the chill out I need to stop my brain from thinking about everything and more all the goddamn bloody time I am awake or trying to rest. That being said, me and the other half have a plan for making the most out of the shinies and rares in the games to the point we have a plan to get further dex's filled for the shiny charms to hunt shinies and increase our odds (this  actually helps me get to sleep quicker cos hunting is so therapeutically boring)... we also have a plan to reply games to get more shiny fodder and so on as well... so that will keep me occupied until I get my occupational therapy counselling appointment that I so desperately need |OMG! (Also, can we appreciate me being a sucker for exclusive limited edition consoles, what with the Sun and Moon sleek as fuck 3DS and my Let's GO Pikachu and Eevee switch? They also make me happy, oops).

Also on the positive front... FAMILY TIME!!! Honestly, I do have the best siblings!!! Got to speak to Lola on the phone this week and as usual, I love my little mini more more and more each time I see her! I have also been informed she loves Panda's now so means I finally have a plan to get her something nice for her new bedroom, maybe some cushions and blankets or picture or all of the above!!!

It was also my step-brother's birthday this weekend too... little Wyatt is now three years old!!! We got him some cute gifts from The Natural History Museum when we went to London, and OMG he loved the lil Triceratops we bought for him and even asked to have it to take to bed with him too OMG so cute I cannot even ❤️❤️❤️

Can't forget Milo either... such a good brother OMG He actually came round again on Wednesday when Jake was at work and bought some amazing home made curry for us to have in wraps for lunch, he also bought some crisps and tasty drink which I so bloody needed what with being strapped for cash till pay day on Thursday!!! Cannot wait to see what amazing foods he will make next and obvs, cannot appreciate enough him coming over on Wednesday so I don't go bloody insane and depressed in the house on my own whilst Jake is at work so long. 

OH CHEESE!!! Last thing... my bestie Josh is so amazing. So so so amazing. We had a big chat about diabetes and the kidney stuff and he proper cheered my up and I honestly love how having a serious conversation with him inadvertently turns into discussing random things about said serious things, for example, ways to cook potatoes to remove the potassium (in case I cannot have potatoes as much anymore further down the line) because there has to be a way to have roast potatoes and mash with a roast dinner dammit! ALSO, he was so lovely and made it possible for me to buy some cheese and crisps, things I don't need to med for, and also after I had a mini freak out that the cheap mature chedder I had to buy was well... more orange like red leicester than mature chedder... thanks to Josh, I got some proper stuff, extra mature Cathedral City cheese and omg, heaven... so much heaven everywhere, my taste buds are invigorated and happy and full of tasty cheese goodness (also look at the pic of the two cheeses... since when was mature cheddar orangy?) I don't actually know where I would be without Josh sometimes... he always knows the right things to say, knows I love honesty even i it stings, knows how to make me laugh and smile... and our little chat and the purchasing of decent cheese has honestly helped the crap storm of a week whirling around in my head.

Well, you may be wondering why there are no blood results to show. There is, I just don't like any of them at the moment so I couldn't face posting them up. Instead, I shall give you a picture of my cat Vincent giving me a big snuggle, who I love so much and I shall leave this here until next week. 

This weeks rating:⭐⭐☆☆☆

Bye everyone!!!