[[0060]] Day 51 of Self-Isolation (The outside world is WEIRD)

Day 51 (and I guess 50 as well as this is a two for one)

Evening everyone!

Queenie calling in after another interesting couple of days in the diabetes world. Oh boy, it's been another emotional roller coaster that yet again, I did not sign up for.

It's been... interesting... and it shows me how much my diabetes is affected by my emotions and so on because jeez, my bloods react to ANYTHING when it comes to emotions and it is honestly frustrating as hell. 

So, guess I should explain what has been happening?

I had to have my kidney blood tests again to see if the eGFR (kidney function) was stabilised or slightly improved with the 4mg blood pressure tablets. Seems simple, ya know, one vial of blood? HA nope. Not at all. (I believe I mentioned I would be going out for bloods in my last type 1 diabetes post yesterday).

So, I wrapped up warm, I drank about a litre and a half of water at home yesterday before heading out and had breakfast as well and everything was fine. Like, got to the doctors and only had ten mins to wait for my appt and yeah, everything was absolutely fine. Went in, felt hydrated and warm... all was good. 

And then the bad thing happened. What is the bad thing? My blood said NO. My veins were a fat (technically they're tiny but you get the idea) NO. even my hands and wrists said NO which is funny cos can usually get it out my wrists.

So what happened? Well, I was in the room for 45 minutes, and the lovely nurse tried a good three times and couldn't get the blood, we even warmed my hands under boiling water, as well as holding a glove full of water and the blood just would not happen. So, she called in a lovely guy named Ian (he's like a doctor but not I think) and he gave it a go, a solid three times, and nothing. He even went for my wrist and that didn't work. Ian came up with an idea of maybe drinking and hydrating more then trying again in 20mins, so, I went and sat in the waiting room for 20mins, drank 9 cups of water, which I think equates to another litre and a half of water, maybe more. There was a guy in the waiting room, bless him, who should have been seen at 9:10am but wasn't seen until half past because of me so I obviously apologised profusely haha! I get called back in... the nurse tries twice again and nothing... and one of my other fave nurses, Carol, came in and she tried and just nope. Prodded nine time with needles in one day and I was totally done. I think they could see I was so damn frustrated about it all plus I don't wanna go to the hospital for bloods at the moment so I know they did everything they could. I think I was just major mad at myself for my body just being an ass.

I think I have written about this before tbh. I have always had a bit of a problem with having blood tests and have done for the last couple of years, maybe a bit longer, maybe like 8 years? And I always joke that I should not be diabetic cause I can't seem to handle a simple blood test. I think it just largely upsets me (hence my facebook rant about it yesterday) because I do honestly try so hard before my blood tests, by drinking loads, wrapping up warm and like, exercising my hands and arm to get the blood running but... it just never seems to work. The only thing that does work is this one woman at the hospital in haematology, I don't know her name, but she can always get it out of me and normally it's around 3 or 4pm... but no way am I waiting in haem right now, no way. 

I got home anyway, and I just felt terrible. I think I went into shock as well after being stabbed by so many needles (which is hilarious because I don't mind blood tests in the slightest, the colour of blood to me is fascinating) but like, my bloods shot up, I went kinda clammy and I think I just went to bed because I was honestly just so done with everything for that one day.

The nurse booked me to come in today, well, double booked me with my other two favourite nurses, Carrie and Gina whom I absolutely love so much. (Turns out we should have waited a week but oh well). Carol also said, doesn't matter how sunny it is, layer up loads and drink even more... so, that is what I did today, as well as some exercise on Just Dance beforehand.

So the first two pics haha! So I went to the surgery yesterday in a tee and a fluffy hoodie... and today? It was a tee, a hoodie and my fluffy coat for seeing Skindred. And some thermal socks and my super warm trainers. I. WAS. BOILING. Like so bloody boiling, I was sweating and I could smell myself, it was absolutely grim. Thankfully, I didn't go through the waiting room this time... which I will explain.

I got to the surgery an hour and ten early today... because the buses are crazy right now. Usually the number 1 is every half an hour but it is now it's one every 45mins, then 1hr 15mins... so I either got to the surgery an hour and ten early or ten mins late... so I went early. Figured, there is a bench behind the surgery on some grass so I could grab some lunch and more water and just wait till I needed to be seen... but I actually bumped in to one of my nurses, Gina, and she said if Carrie was free, they would try and get me in earlier. They didn't disappoint either, I was in at dead on 1pm instead of 1:30pm! Carrie came out in her PPE finery and called me in through one of the back entrances to the surgery, queue both nurses giggling as I said I had never been in the back way before haha!

Speaking of going in the surgery... it was weird yesterday. Like, the buses are still observing their protocols that I mentioned on day 16 of self-isolation. But I hadn't seen my surgery until yesterday. They've moved two rows of chairs in the waiting room, you can't really talk to the people on reception unless you hover for a bit and you have to ring a bell to get access to inside providing you have an appointment as well. Everyone is in masks n stuff and yeah, it's both weird but cool how my surgery has adapted to the big virus. But yeah, today I went through the back way, well, through a fire exit that went into like a sink, cleaning nurse station thing into the nurses room haha, I felt so naughty haha!!

I did think things were going to fail. Carrie managed to draw blood but the blood wouldn't do what it was meant to do and go down the tube/into the syringe. She tried three times though, and ended up calling in Gina to have a go. We had all been laughing and joking about the whole thing anyway, just because my body is an arsehole and why is there no like rules for being diabetic of which one should be being able to have a blood test nice and easily with decent veins haha!!!

Thankfully, Gina had a feel and got it first try, and OMG I was so happy I could have cried. She managed a decent vial as well which was a bonus too.

She did say a few things though... as I have always been curious as to why my bloods have got worse over the years. And honestly, no-one really knows. But, it was an issue my gran had but no-one else in my family so could maybe be investigated if it continues to be an issue. ANYWAY, we agreed that next time, they should wait a week to do more bloods so that my veins have time to recover from being poked so many times, which I can see where she was coming from because I feel that Carrie would have got the blood first time had my right arm not been stabbed to death yesterday. Like the blood was there, but my veins supposedly have this ability to collapse/close up when a needle appears, which you can imagine, is frustrating as hell. It could also be potentially kidney related, what with the microvascular system being very closely related to kidney health and function... so the best and only thing that can be done is to wait till the afternoon for bloods at my surgery and also to drink wayyyyy too much. (Also, my blood is far too thick for a solid 3-4 hours after waking up, which with small veins, is a problem).

Anyway, they got the blood. I was happy. I have not felt this good in a while. And hopefully, its the last of the needing bloods for at least a month and half, well, June sometime, whenever my next renal appt is. I won't lie, I crashed for four hours, so maybe the onslaught on my veins does actually make me feel not okay even if I don't mind the blood tests themselves... but either way, it is blood damn well done, finally (lol). 

So yeah, emotional roller coaster. Thank God for my mental health calendar, the fact the coop in BBH had one box of my fave monster and well, my anti-depressants. I do feel like I could have been so much worse, but lately, I seem to have this uncanny ability to bounce back after a few hours, which I never used to be able to do. It makes me wonder if it is because I am not at work and stressed out therefore I am actually focusing more on myself and my needs and well, learning about how I work, I don't know. I feel like yesterday should have broken me and if I am honest, if they hadn't got the blood out today, I think that probably would have broken me as well, but it all worked out in the end so thank God we didn't have to wait and find out if I was gonna freak out. Either way, I still think this is the best my mental health and diabetes has been for years. Maybe I am meant to be an at home kind of work person? I don't really know.

It's given me stuff to think about anyway.

Before I sign off, I want to show you a ring that my amazing keyworking other half got for me cause of, well, all the stuff going on at the moment. 

"Keep (fucking) going."

Never have truer words been said.

That is it from me tonight! Time to share the heck out of this blog and get that view count up again!!! One day I will get adsense on this account, ONE DAY!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0058]] Day 45 of Self-Isolation

Day 45 (I'm still not sure the end is in sight yet, yes the peak has gone but... I just don't know anymore)

Good afternoon everyone and welcome to the self-iso diaries of a Queenie who is actually feeling somewhat sane, praise be to Jeebus. Anyway, we are on day 45 now and half way through week 7 of being at home and honestly, I think I have adjusted okay... like I know I could be feeling worse and I am not, and for that, I am grateful!

It was the last day on my Harry Potter advent isolation calendar! And it was a good day as well, just look at the lovely bandanna I got! I'm not sure what to do with it, but I may find somewhere cool in the office to hang it as I love the design!

It is honestly such a lovely print and I think it is definitely one of my favourite items from the calendar. I love the socks and deathly hallows necklace and key chain too and the cute stationary items will have a lovely home in my Harry Potter pencil cases (plus finally, a decent sized pencil sharpener, wooo!). The socks are cute as well, really like those. And of course, I am a sucker for silicon wristbands so we all know I absolutely love them. 

But yeah, that is everything I got with the calendar! Honestly, one of my best buys. I have noticed that the one for this year is up for pre-order on Merchoid and I am very tempted to get it for Christmas this year. I've said it before, that my diabetes would be better off with a geeky and no chocolate calendar for Christmas and would also help to curve the mid-morning highs I get over Xmas as well, but we shall see!

As you may be aware, I bought the calendar to help give me a boost in the morning and give me something to look forward to each time I wake up to another day at home. And you know what, bar some tiny mishaps like running out of rizla for example, my mental health has actually been pretty okay. Like, I know for fact that it could have been really up-and-down, but it's been somewhat stable which is such a relief as it reflects in my blood sugars as well. So, all-in-all, I think the calendar was a success. If you can afford to do something like this while stuck at home, do try it, it's honestly worth it. Starting your day with something to be excited about is a great way to deal with the bad things going on at the moment, it has helped me a ton!

But alas, I still don't know how long I am going to be at home... and the calendar has run out? What do I do?

Well, I mentioned in my last blog post that I was going to buy another calendar and after scouting the internet on pay day, I found the one... last years Marvel 80th Anniversary Pop Vinyl calendar! It actually arrived yesterday which I was shocked about as it was sent second class signed for and I think was posted on the 29th... but yeah, it came yesterday and not on the 4th and damn, its a hench boy! 

Eeeeeee look at it!!! I am so excited to open my first door on it tomorrow! I think door 17 is Doctor Strange but I can't remember. Either way, there are some awesome mini pop figures in here and having a new one each morning for another 24 days is going to be so much fun! I might look in to getting one of those like storage shelf cabinet thingies for them, like what gran's put thimbles in, and like hang it up... but we shall see! 

Again, I do like the look of these calendars for Christmas but they are pricey, so I may just wait till sales to find them if I can. I know there was a Fortnite one and a Harry Potter Yule Ball one, which I might get the latter if I can find it cheap anywhere as it is quite cute in itself... but that is for another 24 days time! I have a new one to play with now and I am so so so fucking excited, you have no idea! I am actually already so happy to wake up tomorrow and all the other days, it's just awesome!!!

But yeah, I am open to any other mental health ideas! And happy to share some of mine as well! The advent calendar is one thing... but drawing is also helping me a lot as well and I have been doing it nearly every single day. So I do advise it, if you can! 

I'm also appreciating music a lot more now I have the time to as well. A lot of my fave bands have uploaded stuff to youtube or are livestreaming old lives over on youtube, which is awesome! I have watched most of MUCC's every Wednesday but I have also watched a coupld of Gackt lives and Buck Tick are showing stuff on Saturday as well! Diru did a live without an audience a few weeks ago as well. All of them have been awesome and it is so cool that they are doing this! The video for MUCC's new album is out too and I am honestly so excited to get the album when it's released, hopefully (fingers crossed). I do hope GazettE do something as well, or Hyde/Vamps but I am happy with what is available, it is so awesome! 

Other things that are helping me at the moment include Animal Crossing, seriously, it's so cute and just, I can't think of anyone who doesn't like it or play it daily. I know it keeps me chill as part of my morning routine. Which brings me on to another point... routine!!! OH man, this is so important, and I obviously miss work because it gives me routine, however, I have made my own new routine that I seem to be sticking to quite well. And I am trying to add more normal things into the routine, such as shower/bath and so on. The recent thing I have added to my routine is an hour or so work out using Just Dance Unlimited which is now an important part of my day as I figured I needed to do some kind of exercise now most of the house is sorted out. I haven't hugely gained weight since I have been at home but I have wanted to loose some for a while, so next to eating a but more healthier and now my daily exercise, I hope it contributes in some way! The other half has also ordered some scales for me too, so I can see how much I weigh once a week, see if what I am doing is helping me!

If I think of ought else, I'll be sure to post about it!

But, alas, I must go and do more art! Hoping me and the other half can live stream some more once all the graphics are complete and I am so damn excited! A streamer we know, Simply Corey, has asked for a chibi piece of her too... so fingers crossed I can finally do art commissions! 

Don't the graphics look fab on our Twitter? Haha I have loved making them and making everything match at long last! Definitely feel a lot more professional about the whole streaming thing which is awesome and I do hope that we can stream a lot of Fortnite for you this weekend!!! Watch this space, tune in to Mixer and follow it, Queen and McBooty!

Anyway, I have art to finish so... stay safe, stay home, be kind to one another and all that jazz!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0057]] Day 42 of Self Isolation

At least I think it is day 42? It has been a while and I would like to say I have been busy... well, as busy as I can be given circumstances I guess haha! The days are drifting into weeks and months and now I think I have definitely hit the limp week feeling between Christmas and New Years!

Day 42 (It is nearly the end of week 6!) 

Afternoon friendos and apologies for disappearing again alas, now that most of the tidying is done, there isn't really much to update. Like, nothing is changing or any different, the same old really is the same old each day and just yeah, bar wanting to kill my neighbours on a daily basis because they are so damn loud, I am doing alright. 

I have in all fairness, got a lot of things to distract me at the moment which is a good thing, not always, but for how the world is at the moment, distractions, I feel, are okay.

Like my advent calendar for example. It's on day 21 at the moment so it is nearly over but fear not, I selected my new one yesterday and the 80th Anniversary Marvel Pop Vinyl calendar is coming at the end of the week so that, I am super stoked about (I watched an unboxing video and saw Dr Strange in it which insta sold it to me straight away!).

The doors with the current one have been a pleasure to wake up to though, just check out the goodies over there haha! Another cute stamp for when I hope I can eventually write letters and send cards, a Ravenclaw pin (which I believe will be commandeered by my other half), another patch I'll probably stick on my office wall and my favourite, the two vinyl wristbands, of which the black one I am going to wear the heck out of because I love anything Marauder's Map!!!

Speaking of goodies, my parcel from NeoTokyo arrived yesterday as well, my second Jrock LP! And my, it is actually beautiful! (And yes, we have a vinyl player...)

LOOK AT IT!! The album is fab on it's own but as an LP, it's stunning. I am actually in love. I think I am going to move the vinyl player into my office for a bit the next couple of days so I can listen to some good old vinyl magic whilst the other half is at work! It also looks bloody fantastic next to my Dir en Grey LP as well... and I do hope Ganshin keep producing these LPs for awesome Jrock stuff cos omg, I am such a sucker for things like this.

I may not be seeing MUCC this year, maybe next year, but at least this and there little TV youtube spot partially makes up for it! (Roll on tomorrow for week 6 with Yukke cos damn am excited for that new album). 

I actually bought myself something to help me exercise as well. I have been thinking about this for while because I struggle to get motivated to exercise, but I do game everyday. I also used to love games like Just Dance and stuff and I know I can work up a sweat playing them, so I figured I'd get the new one for Switch and it came today, just in time for week 7 of lockdown and 7 is a good number for me. It's a positive change that I do hope will help me out... plus I used to dance a lot when I was younger anyway and I was much fitter back then. SO here we go! I hope it works. Gonna exercise slow in the beginning cos don't want to overdo my poor heart and its hypertension but hoping to ease into a good hour work out five days a week which I hope is enough for me to get a little bit healthier, what with the healthier meals that I have been eating of late too. After all, I am getting old now so... kinda need to put some extra effort in! Plus, saw a couple of Kpop songs on here too, like 2NE1 and others, and I can get a free month membership to unlimited which I may abuse for songs I like haha!!! So who knows, maybe in the next five weeks, I might start looking a bit more like I want to! Or at least feeling a bit healthier in myself.

I have ordered a couple of other things... well, the NHS Skindred tees because... well... it just had to be done. I ordered a massive one so I can wear it like a dress with my future Benji Webb coat and shades. I cannot wait till October to see them here on my home turf again! Love Skindred so damn much. I'm looking into finding a cool fluffy black coat as well as the spikey shades which I have found on ebay and now that MCR is postponed till next year, gives me a lil more freedom to get a few more bits I wouldn't normally be able to get.

I have decided, since talking to the other half, that I am going to try and reach out to our neighbours next door to our neighbours as they have been having problems too with well, the bad neighbours. We've both contacted the landlord and it has done nothing, so we suspect dodgy letting. Can we get the police out on that? Either way, the lady who is also having problems also suffers with mental health stuff so I can completely relate to her at this moment in time as I don't like living every damn day next door to rude arseholes. So, watch this space for the updates on that. I am not sure how I can help but I will try because I know I am definitely suffering with their bull crap.

I guess, I am going to go back to the drawing grind now, which is why I am writing this post in the afternoon and another reason why I am not posting as much. Got a big project under way for streaming channel stuff, so be sure to check out my art page for updates as and when they happen, Aluria Arts. 

You can check out this blog post for links to other digital work I have done too Pokemon Art Work Here! MY skills are increasing each and everyday so fingers crossed commissions can be opened up digitally soon to help pay off the laptop and buy new art things... so as per usual, watch this space!

Anyway, time to art!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0056]] Day 37 of Self-Isolation

Radio silence keeps creeping in. I am so sorry friends, but its okay, I am still here, just had nothing to really write home about haha!

Day 37 {And we are in to week 6... I think... I am kinda loosing count).

Afternoon!

I will first say, as stated in the above mini thing, I am so sorry for the radio silence! But honestly, I have not done a huge amount since Sunday other than arting, Animal Crossing and loafing around in my PJs whilst ignoring my mental health. Oh well, shit happens. I am taking it one step at a time slowly to get through the mental health jargon (I talk about mental health on this diary post, be sure to check it out!) 

So, today, I had a bath (in the middle of the day no less, oh my!) and I have actually put clothes on, and I intend on trying to do this the next few days, more specifically, after I have had my breakfast (which means I also plan on making sure I am up no later than 9am). I was going to make more of an effort today and do some kind of goth Slytherin pride aesthetic, but I forgot I chucked loads of  black shirts and I am too fat for the other half's shirts so Miyavi merch it is. Either way, I am glad the red is holding in my hair at least! And it still looks vibrant considering I redyed it before my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Gonna try and style or at least look after my hair as one of my mental health baby steps, but also make sure I remember to clean my teeth as soon as I remember too as well as remember to take my tablets in the morning, cos I keep forgetting. And if I ain't in the mood for nice clothes, big hoodies and gig merch is also okay. 

I've also been super busy arting whilst I have been off, but this time, I have been doing some traditional work!

I am going to be sliding back into some digital work now this piece is done (check these links to view previous arts Rillaboom and Espeon, Lugia and Marshadow). But, I don't ever want digital art to take away from traditional, I just want it to be a new skills I have acquired which will be beneficial for graphics and quick commissions; traditional art is always going to be my home, no matter how expensive the materials are or how much the pressure from shading makes my hand and wrist hurt. This Eeveelution piece has taken me WAY too long, but I am glad it is finally complete. And for once, I like more things about it than hate, such as cute derpy Eevee and Sylveon's colouration, as well as Umbreon and Vaporeon... all in all, it was a damn fun piece to do! It has actually given me an idea for a rainbow piece I want to do with Eeveelutions, cos I wanted to stick this in the window so people could see it and be happy but I don't want the sunlight to ruin it. Before I round off this art post, be sure to check out my art page on facebook, Aluria Arts).  

OH YEAH, I have seen my friends... don't worry, we social distanced! They have a wall and we stand on one side and talk to them in their doorway and we have a chilled smoke together and a chat, and you know what, I kinda live for those days... cos it means I get out and I see people and it... it just makes everything feel better. That being said, said friends are honestly absolute LIFE SAVERS. Not only did they help me out with unsalted butter for baking blondies last week, but they dropped me some rizla yesterday as the other half took the box he bought to work and after I rescued their parcel from porch bandits, I asked if they could grab me some zero sugar energy drink cos the other half forgot, and they got me a sexy bottle and FINALLY, the other half didn't leave me enough bacci for today (which could have made me enter the now aptly named hell zone) but it's okay, cos friends saved the day! And just... this would all be so much harder if we didn't know such amazing people. Love you guys ❤️❤️❤️

Speaking of friends, my cat has left me for trash pile in the sun. I don't blame her, the weather is lovely, but seriously... cat... why? That is rubbish for the skip you silly moose and it will not be there forever (even though it feels like it at the moment!) At least I can guarantee she will have her happy tower of crap for another couple of weeks, if not longer haha. It's the fact she also has her own tunnel to get to the bottom of the garden as well as a climbing tower and a bloody box to sleep in at the top. She is honestly living the trash queen dream. Silly kitty. 

But yeah, she now ignores me cos she has the new love in her life. Until it gets cold at night, then she will come in and not leave me alone. 

Lastly, the Harry Potter advent calendar for mental health. Again, I cannot stress enough how much I love opening this in the mornings when things seem gloomy. We are reaching the end now though, well, about just over a week left, so I need to look into buying a new one for the remainder of time I am stuck indoors, maybe the pop figure one... hmmm...

Anyway, I have loved the little gifts for each day recently! Some cute lil pencils and a pencil sharpener and I already have a pencil case waiting for them, but also this cute Gryffindor pin (for when I am not feeling all Slytherin pride as I do atm) and a deathly hallows keyring which is going straight onto one of my bags cos I am a sucker for keyrings of any kind... and my Harry Potter bag has quite the collection. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Well, that is it. Like I said, not much is going on. I am just taking each day as it comes and I try to do some kind of activity each day. I think dance exercise might be next... need to speak to the other half about getting Just Dance for the Switch, so we shall see what happens.

Stay safe friends, stay healthy, stay happy!

Over and out, mes amigos!

[[0055]] Day 33 of Self Isolation

Oops, I missed a day. This is what I get for arting my ass off but OMG I have missed it!!! Oh and no idea what is going on in the world right now either. No fucks give, totally.

Day 33 (I can't believe I broke the chain at the one month mark!)

Okay, hey friends. 

I must apologise for not doing my day-to-day blog yesterday... I was arting till about 2:30am in the morning and I just did not have the energy to look at the screen any longer so figured I would do a two for one today instead.

Where to start... where to start...

I guess I'll start with the advent calendar doors, especially yesterdays because ho damn I am gonna use it so much! 

SO, yesterdays door was this cute deathly hallows necklace and I am honestly gonna wear the heck out of it. I am such a sucker for geeky jewellery so this pleases me on so many levels. Today's door 12 had the other half of the temp house tattoos which I now think I might blu tac to the office wall because I love the designs so much!!!

I noticed merchoid have pre-orders up for this years calendar and I am rather tempted to get it for myself for Christmas this year as I absolutely LOVE this one!!! Cannot wait to see what I get tomorrow!

TBH tomorrow is a better day already anyway, as I am only in the house all day on my own for four days and not five, as the other half managed to book an annual leave day for tomorrow so we can has long weekend together. No idea what we are gonna do, prob play games and drink energy drink, but I am totally cool with that!!! 

If I am honest, today and yesterday have kinda blurred into one as I have essentially done the same stuff today as yesterday, although today had some improvements by the wonderful form of LEGO! AHhhhh I love lego so much and I have been saying for ages that I wanted some lego to play with, so the other half picker me up some Harry Potter lego which was selling cheap at B&M yesterday and I made it this morning. It's also the scene from Goblet of Fire when Voldy comes back and it is honestly just the best thing. Might have to go back to B&M after this is all over or whilst it still has stock, and pick up some more when paid... cos seriously, geeky Lego is best Lego and just, I love Lego so much. Although now that I think about it, I didn't have cookies, a juice box or wear a onesie whilst I made it... I need to rectify this and get some more, obvs.

Besides that, all I have really been doing, bar finally putting our washing away this morning and putting fresh bedding on, is arting on the tablet. I love it, and can honestly just spend hours amusing and distracting myself on there while I use it. 

Here is what I made:

The top one I made for my friend Stu at work, and it's his fave Pokemon, Rillaboom. OMG I think 60 layers went into that beasty boy but it was worth it. The Espeon on did for day for my friend at work and Stu's wife, Nicola, who loves Espeon and it seemed only fair they both got one each! That piece is a little smaller hence quicker to do and although my background skills are still meh, I love it a lot... prob cos I had to look at a bunch of cat references to make sure I got the pose right haha

I am back to traditional art again tomorrow/Tuesday as I need to finish my friends Eeveelution commission which I have been putting off for ages. It'll be good for me to do though, so it reminds me of what I am capable of with traditional materials.

I have also been debating potentially doing little cheap digital commissions to help raise pennies to go towards the monthly pay back of the laptop, and it'll keep me busy and earning whilst I am home as well. I might think on this some more next week and see what happens.

Anyway, I am pooped and wanna play me some games cos I have kinda been neglecting games lately. Plus I have an adorable new animal coming to my Animal Crossing game, so I need to spend some more time shifting things about and so on... get that island up to 5 stars!

So, stay safe everyone, love you all!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0054]] Day 31 of Self-Isolation

I nearly forgot to write this because I was too busy doing an art again. I want to say sorry, but I am not. 

Day 31 (Okay... turns out I do have some mental health shit going on, I've just been ignoring it).

Okay so I am so sorry this is late, I really am, but I may have been arting on the Chromebook again and... I just... I just lost myself haha

I drew a Lugia!!! Haha one of my faves and turns out, one of my bosses all time faves too so I had to  give it a go!!! I also decided that if any of my friends or work mates like Pokemon and to practice and get used to stuff, I am going to just rando draw people pretties! Figured, life is hard atm so sometimes something happy can't go wrong in the grand scheme of things... and means I can learn skills and all that jazz.

I have a long way to go but at least my work is not terrible. I might watch some tutorials tomorrow to learn some more about shading and blending and stuff but... for now, I am happy with what I have been making on the Chromebook! I hope you all like it too (AND totally check out my art page, Aluria Arts).

I'd like to think this arting is helping my mental health but I am beginning to wonder if it is just a distraction so I don't deal with said mental health. I have a thing that I do when things are not great, and it is always that one thing I never notice I am doing, until it has gone on for a while and then I realise and it's not that it is too late, more just, why could I not realise this sooner and deal with it. Long story short, I just get really bad at showering or having a bath and washing my hair and stuff when my depression is just being well, annoying. I also tend to obsess over things a bit, for example, the artwork. Don't worry, I have finally had a bath but it has been a week. I just need to figure out what is going on in my head. I have ideas, such as not going out, not having structure, diabetes going a bit weird the last couple of days... it could be anything. My assumption is the biggest problem is staying at home and not seeing people. But I also accept that this is how it is because the last thing I want is another trip to hospital cos my kidney has decided to give up cos I have developed corona virus.

I think I'll come to terms with the fact I can't do anything about it... but, I do wish I could.

Tomorrow is another day and I at least have Jake home this weekend so that is something.

I was actually meant to be in Wales now with my besties and the other half after an amazing trip to London. I have counted my loses, shit does happen, but... it does make me sad. I miss so many people. I miss work. I miss friends. I miss my family... bleh.

In happier and less depressing news, my adorable mini hype unicorn bag came today... it is actually bigger than I thought it would be but it is cute as heck and I can't wait to use it out and about once this is all over.I have also realised that I have erm... bought a lot of things I would erm... wear out the house, but can't at the moment. It's fine, I can wear it all in the house and pretend I am a pastel goth princess but... it kinda is not really the same!!! Oh well, docs and cute bag tomorrow in my pjs it is. LMAO

Well, last but not least... whats behind door number 10!!!

Washi tape!!! I am sooooo gonna use this in the office. I think I might like stick up some cute Harry Potter pictures and use this to like decorate the corners, I don't know. Either way, it is adorable! Roll on door number 11!!!

Okay, I need to go to bed... and again I am so sorry this is a late one!!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0053]] Day 30 of Self-Isolation

Today has been A-MA-ZING! And if you did not read that in Craig Revel Horwood's voice, you suck, darling.

Day 30 (... it's been a month since I properly left the house like a normal person would...)

Actually, I have been out twice since being in iso and both of those were for medical appointment's so it doesn't count.

ANYWAY, hellooooo!

Today, I am actually writing this from my new chromebook, a sexy lil 2-in-1 laptop that I shouldn't not have got finance for (even though it ups my credit rating when I pay back like a good human) but I did get and it is honestly a massive game changer for me creatively! It is honestly the smoothest and most seamless machine I have ever used, bar learning how to do things a lil differently like saving photos and so on but like, I'll get there. I absolutely love this thing to the moon and back and it is honestly the best thing I have ever done for myself.

Bar a good HbA1C. But those come and go. This will stick for a couple of years.

So yeah, got confirmation when I got up this morning that a lovely gentleman, named Steve would be dealing this bad boy and ho damn, I was stalking his deliveries until he got here. I was both so anxious and so excited all at once. Thankfully, my bloods remained good regardless, so that is something at least. 

I guess you want some pictures of this bad boy then?

So there it is, my Acer Spin 13 with built in Wacom pen. This beasty boy is 13.5" as well so it's a decent sized screen for me to deal with what with my dodgy eyesight and son on.

And I think that is why I love this thing so damn much. Like, I love drawing and stuff, I do, but I don't do it a lot any more, and when I do, I can't draw for extended periods of time because my eyes go blurry and sometimes to the point my glasses won't work, like, if I could zoom in on my work for my lineart, it'd be fine. And this is one of the reasons why this is a game changer for me art wise and that is because I can zoom in, get rid of the rubbish, work on detail like I used to and it is honestly the best bloody thing.

Oh, its tanky battery life is nice as well.

AND I can upload straight to insta now too, bonus wooooo!!!

But yes, this sexy boy now sits pride of place on my desk in the office, looking snazzy amongst my pens and shizzle which may gain some dust now, but at least they're pretty to look at!

So yeah, there it is opened out in laptop glory. Obvs, I use the stand to prop it up when I draw (I got the stand from uni and it is perfect for turning the lappy into a drawing machine!) 

You probably want to see what I arted haha! I figured I would go with Pokemon because that is what I post most on my art page, Aluria Arts! I used to love drawing artist trading cards so figured this was the best place to start... and bear in mind I don't normally, and have never, drawn digitally before, I actually did something decent and I can't believe it!!!

So this is the original piece...

So I doodled this earlier and scanned it in on the Lenovo and this is what I came up with!!!

So this is what I made haha! Not too bad for my first go arting online. And it was so easy to do once I figured out how to deal with layers and colour stuff in with the Wacom pen and then blend and stuff too and OMG backgrounds are so much easier to do now!!! This is like honestly one of the best things I have ever done, like, seriously. I am so happy!

And I think the reason I can use this stuff is because I can use the Wacom pen... that thing is amazing. It's not far off arting properly anyway, and I think this is why this stuff works for me. I def made the right choice in art laptop... I need to figure out what else to draw now!!! Might look at some of these "Do this in your own style" stuff... but, I should probably get a little bit more used to layers and orders of layers first!!

I thought my unicorn birthday Hype bag would arrive togday but it didn't so I have a feeling that will probably come tomorrow. Also, MUCC released their EU vinyl so I may perhaps order that cos we have some pennies left before payday for once. Either way, I am in a good place, everything is amazing, nothing could ruin this...

... oh, maybe the three more weeks of lockdown. But hey, this is week 5 of being in the house for me so it's not the end of the world in that respect.

We had to have some essential maintenance done on the house today as well... and I think this is another reason why my day has been awesome, I got to see my dad! He had to come and unblock a rather dodgy sink blockage that if Magnus did what he did before and knocked a tap, would have caused a flood. We social distanced properly though, stood in different rooms and stuff but honestly, it was just nice to see my Dad, it's been five weeks after all!! Oh, and the bathroom sink works now too, wooooo!

Best get to rounding off this blog and sharing new artwork everywhere as I am a tiny weeny bit sad like that plus my art page has been dead for so long that it is gonna need a kick up the ass to get people viewing again!

Obviously, we can't forget the morning door of this wonderful mental health advent calendar!! It was a damn good one today, a cute pin!!! I'm gonna save it for my work lanyard next Christmas, cos like, it'd be weird to wear Christmas in July (or May, whenever I get to go back).

Anyway, I have to go, need to sleep and finish up touching up bits and bobs round the house so I can whip the hoover through finally (yes, I did do some tidying today, the living room looks much better now!!!)

So, until tomorrow, stay safe everyone, don't kill each other, make love not war... I dunno.

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0052]] Day 29 of Self-Isolation

I have no idea what to write here other than my mental health has taken a dip, therefore my bloods have also taken a rise and my eyesight is blurry so this is probably full of typos).

Day 29 (And the start of week number 5, dun dun dunnn!)

Evening folks and I apologise in advance if this is full of typos but... my vision is really blurry tonight and my diabetes has decided to take a big nope out and just, urgh. I was hoping to be writing this sat in the office with my new laptop alas, it was not meant to be. Currys PCW have said it is dispatched and DPD is arguing that it has not been so... if the reviews I have read are correct, I am in for either a damn long wait even though I paid a tenner for delivery today, or, it won't turn up at all and will be thrust into the never ending cycle of rude customer service loads of people have been dealing with amongst other things I have read. SO, my fingers are crossed for tomorrow but I don't hold out any hopes. Worst part is, I won't hear ought till potentially 11am tomorrow if they do have it or not... just... urgh why me? The other half's new coat arrived today and that was only ordered and shipped yesterday! If I had known Currys PCW would be like this, I would have just ordered the one on Argos instead. Urgh.

It seems pathetic that something so stupid would get me down but, it really has. I cleaned and finished the office ready to go for arting digitally and so on, started looking into free apps I could get to well, do the arts on and just, everything got thwarted before it even began. Okay, I'll stop being selfish and melodramatic but I am honestly just major bummed out right now. 

Anyway, other news.

I have actually finished the office, bar the Odeon exclusive posters I am waiting for to arrive to complete sets, but, the room is done! A big shout out to my mate Sarah, for dropping some blu tac round with me to help get the last of the posters up! Thank you! The room looks banging!!!

I promised pictures of my reading area today so... here ya go...

So what do you guys thing? A nice lil corner for being comfy and reading and imagining the days away haha I cannot wait to find out where the hell I put my Dan Brown book I was reading and finishing it at last! (I love Dan Brown's work, not just because they make you think and want to go places and investigate things even though his work is a work of fiction but because the chapters are nice and short, and that is one thing I prefer with my books, makes me keep attention for longer and keep on reading because it feels like you have read more!) Finally got shelves for Marvel, Pokemon and Star Wars as well which I am thrilled about, my build-a-bears have never looked so happy! I'm now waiting for Magnus to refind the armchair and start sleeping in it again haha, or the office chair, either or.

I still have some finishing touches to do around the house, like hoovering and sprucing up the living room, but everything big is essentially done now, I don't know what I am going to do with myself! Well, I have ideas, we shall see what happens haha!

I may have not received the art laptop today but, my new PowerA switch case came and I am happy about that. I seem to be a bit of a sucker for PowerA at the moment, as I have a PowerA pro XBox controller, as well as a Pikachu switch controller and headset, all by the same brand (and the Pikachu stuff does match my Let's GO Eevee switch and I am a sucker for things that match...)

Look at them together, it's a match made in heaven! I also got the console case, not just cos it's Pikachu and PowerA and matches my stuff but because I didn't have enough sections for the games I have in the other one... and this has space for 9... plus I've plans to buy other games too, so need room for them. I have been swapping games out of games cases for the last couple of days and I am not a fan! More so because I keep forgetting to put the cases back on the shelf... it's a silly thing, but pretty case is pretty and matching things makes me happy.

OH YEAH, MUCC did another live premier stream on Youtube today and omg the live was incredible. They announced next week, for Europe, that the live will be brought to us by Yukke, their bassist, I am so excited!!!

Also opened another advent calendar door this morning, what with it being the start of a new week and my fifth week away from my work in a hospital! I am still missing the place, but I am happy I am getting this time to dedicate to the house and take it all at my own pace instead of rushing and feeling poorly n stuff. 

I do wish I had left today's door for when I realised that my laptop wasn't coming... because it was these cute adorable page markers and ha, I was a sucker for page markers at uni and some of my books still have them in, as well as my revision notes, haha!!! I had Star Wars ones, Disney, paw prints, some I used for colour coding... anyway, these are so damn cute and adorable, and I might write some happy words to a couple and stick them up in the office for when I am feeling blue and uninspired in there.

Well, that is it from me for today. I'll be back tomorrow at some point around this time, may be earlier, may be later, who knows?

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0051]] Day 28 of Self-Isolation

And it's taken four weeks... and my house is nearly presentable!!! Not much longer to gooooooo!!!

Day 28 (Week 4 is ending, week 5 will soon begin!)

Heyyyyy!!! 

The end is in sight for my cleaning escapades, can you believe it? Because I can't. When I started, I never thought I would see the end but... it's actually getting there. A couple more bits to put up in the office, then some hoovering throughout and a couple of extra bits and pieces and boom, it's done, I will be a respectable adult for once in my life.

I am really happy with the office though, like, so happy! It is my mission today to get it finished because I have my special new arty laptop arriving tomorrow and I cannot wait!!!

But first, here are a couple of sections I have finished in the office today, I hope you like it as much as I do!!! 

I'm really sad and I kept my uni final presentation dissertation poster as well as my text books and I even bought the mortarboard hat thingy too because I am a sad sap like that and memories haha! Before, my text books were all stacked in front of my desk and the poster was rolled up and the rest of my uni stuff was in bags, but I have been able to get all my old uni notes into a drawer and I have put the books out on show as well. I even stuck up the award certificates I got for my college course and my Masters! I will get frames for them one day, I just wanna be able to look at them. The picture next to the bottom certificate was one my Grandma printed and had stuck in her office from when I graduated college, it has the date on it and says "I'm so proud of you Keita" and it's honestly the sweetest thing. I stuck my dissertation poster up for the sheer fact I loved my self-designed diss project and got to work with art and science... my two loves all rolled in to one!!! But yes, that be now my intelligent space, because sometimes I need reminding that I have brain cells and have actually done well for myself.

I have also started sticking other bits and pieces up around my office as well, starting with my now art desk. I found all the bits and pieces I had stuck up before, some of my own work and a few from artists I used to know or still know and poof, pretty art display to keep me inspired! #

I have loads of bits stuck up here and I am going to stick some Doctor Strange and Sherlock shizzle up there as well at some point, but these are the most important pieces I had to put up. There's a couple of the A3 pieces I've done and other bits and bobs, as well as my Kamijo drawn by the lovely Misa, a few pieces from my friend Luna and Gyarados by Chu as well as some of my characters drawn by the awesome Boo! Pride of place will always and forever be my characters drawn by the amazing Marit, who I have not seen or heard from in years. I managed to get to know her after being a big fan of her artwork on DeviantART but I think she may have disappeared off the face of the Earth, alas, I still love her and her work, so I'll always have it up where I can see it! Either way, art space is awesome.

My bookshelves are done as well but I haven't brought the armchair down yet and moved the table so that may be a tomorrow jobby. I also managed to get the other clothes rack made up for the music room today and was able to hang up all the rest of the music merch, so bar stuff to stick on the walls, the music room is also shaping up nicely too. I still need to put all the clothes away in our room and hoover everywhere, and re-spruce the living room and kitchen but... it is actually getting there, my house is actually looking nice.

But I must admit, my head space is in a much better place then it was a couple of weeks ago and it kind of is true what they say, the whole tidy house, tidy mind shizzle. Like, I am more than geared up to do the old things I used to love before I got bogged down with life. Putting all the books away and organising them has made me excited about reading again, and having my desk set up for art is making me excited for arting again too. Might even do some art trades... who knows. Get commissions going again, do some art for myself too maybe, who knows?

You saw me mention about a shiny new pretty I have arriving tomorrow. Well, you may have seen my favourite laptop is dead and there be nothing in the office for me to use for my art and writing needs but, after talking to some friends about options and possibilities, I signed up to PC World for finance and am getting a pretty decent artist laptop which is arriving tomorrow. It even comes with a Wacom pen so the potential to do digital art is now an option as well... although need to investigate what programs peeps have been using and stuff first cos, free is friend lmao! It's also a 2-in-1 laptop so I can flip it over and use it as a tablet and a drawing pad kinda thing. It's proper cool.

I have been proper anxious about the whole thing mind you though. I hate the idea of credit, but, I technically did a 2 year plan to pay off my phone with O2 and it is pretty much the same deal so I feel a bit calmer about that at least. But it's such a large amount of money but I know I can just treat it like another monthly bill. I could have just used the Lenovo we got for gaming and streaming, but I wanted something that I could solely use for art and writing and potentially for uni if I manage to get a PhD or do a creative writing and publishing masters. I probably could have just survived without but... I need something to art with, and if the other half is streaming, or the Lenovo is set up for me to stream the switch, I don't wanna be faffing carrying the Lenovo around the house and what have you, especially with my falling over tendencies.

Either way, I got a pretty, it comes tomorrow and I am more excited than anxious now, thank God! But I am still a bit anxious cos BIG commitment. 

Anyway, I will end today's post with the lovely opening of door number 7 of my mental health advent calendar!!!

Today was a cute little Christmas magnet, which I am still gonna put on the fridge even though it is not currently Christmas. What is life without a bit of whimsy?

That is it for tonight's blog though, I hope you're looking forward to tomorrows and more exciting pics of things I have done to my house!!!

Stay safe friends, don't kill each other.

Over and out, mes amigos. 

[[0050]] Day 27 of Self-Isolation

Still not sure what is going on in the world today. Oops. But, my mental state appreciates not knowing, well, keeping up. My obsessive personality however, is trying to fight and read and watch it all... oh no.

Day 27 (I don't know what to write here today.)

Quick one today because I have not done half as much as I wanted to today. Oops.

SO firstly, we shall start with "what is behind door number 6 of the mental health advent calendar?"

A little envelop stamp! Now I want to write letters to people and stamp them with le stamp alas, I cannot leave to post them... I might do some art give aways maybe, get the other half to post out... hmmm, choices. I may have stamped a rando sheet of paper several times cos why the heck now lmao!

Also, one of our wonderful friends made flapjacks and dropped some round for us, ahhhh much happy!!! And they're real tasty... plus, I absolutely LOVE flapjacks, so this made my day as well!!!

I don't like this Big V crap BUT, I do love how nice everyone is being, such as helping people shop and get medicines, to just being a nice neighbour and looking out for one another. Our friends might not be our neighbours but they may as well be, they're like a less than minute walk from my house and they are honestly amazing! Thank you so much!!!

I do wish and hope this niceness everywhere continues when all this is over... but, I kinda feel like the country will just slip back into its old ways, the NHS will stop getting the recognition it deserves... and what have you. I hope it all does stay nice and lovely, and I do feel this virus has changed how the country may be but until it is all over, I can't even guess how.

Anyway.

Sad news today. Well, ex-sad news, because it was sad news before and now it is even worse.

The uni laptop will not reboot from the recovery disk and I cannot reset it or undo the screws at the back to remove the battery. And then I tried to close it and it cracked and now it's just pooped. The screen still turns on mind, and sometimes shows the Fujitsu logo but then sometimes, it just won't.

It's sad. But, I have a lot of friends who know peeps that might be able to help me get all my work off it so that is something. But, I don't think it can be fixed and if it was fixable, I don't think I could afford it.

I have been looking around for a new one, I am just not sure if I am gonna go through with trying to get Argos credit for it or not yet. Turns out, the more arty laptops and tablets cost a lot of money and on a technicality, I am only a part-time worker, my bank hours don't count for anything, so at this point, I am not sure if I can get credit. And I don't think the other half can either. Plus, we do have a laptop that we mainly bought for gaming and it tends to live in the living room... so technically, I don't need one BUT, and I guess I am being selfish, I'd like one just for me and commissions and potentially going back to Uni/looking for a PhD... blergh, my brain is over worked and fried today.

I'll keep looking about, find out what my budget is if I am allowed one, and try and get something good a durable for art stuffs. Maybe a samsung tablet... potentially. They look nice and would cover all I need it to do, would have to buy a keyboard and mouse separate but other than that, it looks amazing. As do the Lenova Flex laptops but dollar, Microsoft Surface but dollar... I don't know what to do v.v;;;

Oh well, this will plague me for a few more hours yet.

I hope everyone is well!

Over and out, mes amigos.