It's a bad mental health day today. I think not seeing actual people is starting to take its toll.
Day 17 (Staying in is safe, staying in is safe, staying in is safe)
Okay, so I am just not feeling writing today for so many reasons that I lost count. So, what has happened today.
My order of Sword and Shield booster packs arrived today and I was excited because it was just nice to have a present to myself arrive and just, yeah, sad, I know.
Alas, the card pulls were not great in comparison to the last packs I got, like, they filled a lot of gaps as I have only just started collecting the Sword and Shield base set but, no fancy full arts this time and the best card I think was the shiny Intelion. Are reverse shiny cards considered as rare nowadays or something? Cos I got a few of them... anyway, my excitement drained pretty quick after that, which sounds ridiculous as I am writing and I know it is like, luck of the draw and so on, but is my luck just that bad?
I have been questioning that a lot. Do I deserve nice things or nice things to happen? Like, nice things have happened to me the last few months but it feels like the bad is overshadowing all of that no matter how had I try to let it not. I don't know when to stop trying, because I do keep trying but noting seems to be showing through for the amount that I have been well, trying. I dunno.
Either way, cards weren't great and I remember why I stopped collecting Sun and Mood cards... so we shall see what happens. At least I made about £2 on the code cards that came in the packs so there is that at least.
Everything is getting to me today. Lots of tiny things like "why is there so much crap in my house" and "I know none of this will be sorted over the weekend" and "why are my bloods so meh today" but what I think broke me for a small time earlier was that in the move of moving stuff upstairs in case we flooded, some very precious signed posters got crushed or ripped and that actually broke me and I stopped everything and cried. I badly took it out on the other half again but I don't really know where else I can turn atm cos I ain't the only one cooped up in the house all day and feeling like trash. Either way, I've decided I won't be putting any of my posters up in the music room when it's done, so I'll let the other half let loose with his music stuff instead.
As said above, my bloods are better than yesterday but it's taken all day to get them to normal.
I also realised that I am binge eating a lot, well, more so on days like today when things have been just not great. I eat stuff to help get me through till I can go to bed and sleep. Explains the amount of weight gain I've had over the last couple of years.
OH WELL. SHIT HAPPENS. Have a picture of Pom looking beautiful in the window of the cat room.
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