[[0061]] For once in my life, my Mental Health is on point.

I actually have lost count of the days I have been "shielding" at home, which I can now say is exactly what I have been doing the entirety of this time away from the real world, ie, my lack of social life, seeing family and my job. But yes, I am actually shielding, especially from my job. I actually had a my assessment with Occy Health today which was daunting but the questions were better this time, and I did get moved from stage 1 to 2, but as I now know I can't wear PPE due to a breathing issue related to my kidneys which is STILL awaiting further investigation, I am still shielding from my job from here on out, so I am remaining stage 1 until I have at least seen renal. Which is a pressure off my mind with lock down releasing. But the diabetes and renal stuff is for another day.

However, I wanted to make this post about two things, which can be linked both together and apart.

Firstly, I'll be making some additions to my blog to show support for Pride and the LGBTQ+ community as it is Pride Month this June.

Secondly, mental health shizzle. Because yes, this is a diabetes and mental health related blog, however, mental health has been a crazy factor in my life, especially with my diabetes. 

So, for pride, I am adding some cute graphics I made for our streaming channel. I am bi myself, and I may not have had any kind of coming-out story as such, it kinda was like, just there (was told it would be a phase and that is probably the only bad thing I guess), I know it has not been so easy for many of my friends. So, if I can show my support with this blog, I can. This is the graphic I made for our overlays for our mixer channel, which we are gonna use for the whole month, so I am adding it to my block and it will sit here, forever. I'd like to think that my blog is a safe place, it's my safe place anyway because sometimes, I need to be able to just let off steam about my condition/s when I don't know where else to turn.

Anyway, as I said, I had no coming out story. I'm bi, that's that and bar being told it was a phase and proving peeps wrong, I just want peeps to know, that I am here and I am a safe place, if ever you need one!

But for the biggest matter at hand, and the name of this blog, it's time for the mental health low down. And honestly? My mental health is actually great. Which is funny when you think about it, and how I started this whole lock down, self-iso stuff... where I thought I was gonna feel lonely and that I would hate it and yes, at times, I have hated it, but... the last month or so, heck, 28 days since I wrote my last blog post, everything has been okay?

How do I know this?

1. I've been sleeping alright (considering the heat and the sudden random days I get nausea in the morning).
2. I'm managing my food quite well, and have just about managed to stick to 1500cals a day, thus, I have hardly been snacking, which is amazing. 
3. I have found ways to deal with my mental health, even if I found said things accidentally, but I feel great after well, the random ways I got to deal with things so that's a bonus. 
4. I don't feel the need to brighten my day with an advent calendar door each mornign anymore (sometimes, I forget to even open a door).
5. I'm finding things to do and keep me busy, thus only sitting down to do nothing if I am out of breath or tired cos of my conditions. 

There are probably some other things, I have no doubt. But, that's what I can think of at the moment... it's these things that are telling me that I am actually DOING OKAY. And considering my life has always been many shades of grey and an absolute mess, I can finally say I am realising a few things and slowly heading out on to a winner. 

I will admit, a lot of things have changed of late, namely, the live-streaming we do on mixer (Mixer Channel, Queen and McBooty. I think I have mentioned that I bought a chromebook on finance, mainly to do arts n stuff and even though it is a massive investment, it's paying off itself. In many ways. The main one being the fact I can do digital artwork now, which is awesome (after I have hated it for so long) but it's also helped us kick back into live-streaming games again, which is one of the main and massive reasons my mental health has improved.

It seems like a crazy little thing, just, talking. But talking to the game or people in the chat, knowing that someone, somewhere is listening, just makes me feel a lot less alone and vulnerable in my own head. Again, it's so silly, but I've streamed a few games now and the other half has been streaming a bit too, and we are slowly watching this small idea of live-streaming games, growing into something that could in a way, benefit me in the future. Okay, it's not the answer to our financial woes, but, if we continue to grow, it's an opportunity that one day, I can sit back once the pandemic is all over and maybe work less to help increase the control I have over the stress that seems to kill my diabetes. But, it's something.

And not only that, I am arting more, designing logos and chibis for streamers, I've designed our own graphics and overlays n stuff as well and I could continue to do this as I enjoy it quite a bit. It could be another stress free way to help deal with the stress that does bother my diabetes so much. 

It's all dreams, but they are dreams that could potentially become a reality some day. I mean, we have grown by 150 followers in a month, we've hit the ember goal last month and this month already, we have peeps tuning in to our streams regularly and merch is selling too (and damn, I love designing merch). It's a long way off, but I hope that me and the other half will be able to maybe one day reach the goal of partnership with mixer, maybe become affiliates with some big brands in the future too... I dunno, it's a long way off and bar waiting for a PhD with my fave supervisor or maybe doing a creative writing masters, I honestly feel like I have some things to look forward to in my life now, which is shocking considering the world is an absolute cock-womble of a mess right now.

I'm sure I'll ramble about our streaming escapades in the future, but I just wanted everyone to know I am actually okay!

Anyway, I'm still around, and I will go back to the diabetes posts and info shizzle soon! Have some plans for more art posts as well, so I can show you guys some stuff I have been working on (and I might set up a Fiverr account, who knows!) I'm hoping I hear back from JDRF soon too about social media shizzle plans. Either way... 

Stay safe everyone! 

[[0060]] Day 51 of Self-Isolation (The outside world is WEIRD)

Day 51 (and I guess 50 as well as this is a two for one)

Evening everyone!

Queenie calling in after another interesting couple of days in the diabetes world. Oh boy, it's been another emotional roller coaster that yet again, I did not sign up for.

It's been... interesting... and it shows me how much my diabetes is affected by my emotions and so on because jeez, my bloods react to ANYTHING when it comes to emotions and it is honestly frustrating as hell. 

So, guess I should explain what has been happening?

I had to have my kidney blood tests again to see if the eGFR (kidney function) was stabilised or slightly improved with the 4mg blood pressure tablets. Seems simple, ya know, one vial of blood? HA nope. Not at all. (I believe I mentioned I would be going out for bloods in my last type 1 diabetes post yesterday).

So, I wrapped up warm, I drank about a litre and a half of water at home yesterday before heading out and had breakfast as well and everything was fine. Like, got to the doctors and only had ten mins to wait for my appt and yeah, everything was absolutely fine. Went in, felt hydrated and warm... all was good. 

And then the bad thing happened. What is the bad thing? My blood said NO. My veins were a fat (technically they're tiny but you get the idea) NO. even my hands and wrists said NO which is funny cos can usually get it out my wrists.

So what happened? Well, I was in the room for 45 minutes, and the lovely nurse tried a good three times and couldn't get the blood, we even warmed my hands under boiling water, as well as holding a glove full of water and the blood just would not happen. So, she called in a lovely guy named Ian (he's like a doctor but not I think) and he gave it a go, a solid three times, and nothing. He even went for my wrist and that didn't work. Ian came up with an idea of maybe drinking and hydrating more then trying again in 20mins, so, I went and sat in the waiting room for 20mins, drank 9 cups of water, which I think equates to another litre and a half of water, maybe more. There was a guy in the waiting room, bless him, who should have been seen at 9:10am but wasn't seen until half past because of me so I obviously apologised profusely haha! I get called back in... the nurse tries twice again and nothing... and one of my other fave nurses, Carol, came in and she tried and just nope. Prodded nine time with needles in one day and I was totally done. I think they could see I was so damn frustrated about it all plus I don't wanna go to the hospital for bloods at the moment so I know they did everything they could. I think I was just major mad at myself for my body just being an ass.

I think I have written about this before tbh. I have always had a bit of a problem with having blood tests and have done for the last couple of years, maybe a bit longer, maybe like 8 years? And I always joke that I should not be diabetic cause I can't seem to handle a simple blood test. I think it just largely upsets me (hence my facebook rant about it yesterday) because I do honestly try so hard before my blood tests, by drinking loads, wrapping up warm and like, exercising my hands and arm to get the blood running but... it just never seems to work. The only thing that does work is this one woman at the hospital in haematology, I don't know her name, but she can always get it out of me and normally it's around 3 or 4pm... but no way am I waiting in haem right now, no way. 

I got home anyway, and I just felt terrible. I think I went into shock as well after being stabbed by so many needles (which is hilarious because I don't mind blood tests in the slightest, the colour of blood to me is fascinating) but like, my bloods shot up, I went kinda clammy and I think I just went to bed because I was honestly just so done with everything for that one day.

The nurse booked me to come in today, well, double booked me with my other two favourite nurses, Carrie and Gina whom I absolutely love so much. (Turns out we should have waited a week but oh well). Carol also said, doesn't matter how sunny it is, layer up loads and drink even more... so, that is what I did today, as well as some exercise on Just Dance beforehand.

So the first two pics haha! So I went to the surgery yesterday in a tee and a fluffy hoodie... and today? It was a tee, a hoodie and my fluffy coat for seeing Skindred. And some thermal socks and my super warm trainers. I. WAS. BOILING. Like so bloody boiling, I was sweating and I could smell myself, it was absolutely grim. Thankfully, I didn't go through the waiting room this time... which I will explain.

I got to the surgery an hour and ten early today... because the buses are crazy right now. Usually the number 1 is every half an hour but it is now it's one every 45mins, then 1hr 15mins... so I either got to the surgery an hour and ten early or ten mins late... so I went early. Figured, there is a bench behind the surgery on some grass so I could grab some lunch and more water and just wait till I needed to be seen... but I actually bumped in to one of my nurses, Gina, and she said if Carrie was free, they would try and get me in earlier. They didn't disappoint either, I was in at dead on 1pm instead of 1:30pm! Carrie came out in her PPE finery and called me in through one of the back entrances to the surgery, queue both nurses giggling as I said I had never been in the back way before haha!

Speaking of going in the surgery... it was weird yesterday. Like, the buses are still observing their protocols that I mentioned on day 16 of self-isolation. But I hadn't seen my surgery until yesterday. They've moved two rows of chairs in the waiting room, you can't really talk to the people on reception unless you hover for a bit and you have to ring a bell to get access to inside providing you have an appointment as well. Everyone is in masks n stuff and yeah, it's both weird but cool how my surgery has adapted to the big virus. But yeah, today I went through the back way, well, through a fire exit that went into like a sink, cleaning nurse station thing into the nurses room haha, I felt so naughty haha!!

I did think things were going to fail. Carrie managed to draw blood but the blood wouldn't do what it was meant to do and go down the tube/into the syringe. She tried three times though, and ended up calling in Gina to have a go. We had all been laughing and joking about the whole thing anyway, just because my body is an arsehole and why is there no like rules for being diabetic of which one should be being able to have a blood test nice and easily with decent veins haha!!!

Thankfully, Gina had a feel and got it first try, and OMG I was so happy I could have cried. She managed a decent vial as well which was a bonus too.

She did say a few things though... as I have always been curious as to why my bloods have got worse over the years. And honestly, no-one really knows. But, it was an issue my gran had but no-one else in my family so could maybe be investigated if it continues to be an issue. ANYWAY, we agreed that next time, they should wait a week to do more bloods so that my veins have time to recover from being poked so many times, which I can see where she was coming from because I feel that Carrie would have got the blood first time had my right arm not been stabbed to death yesterday. Like the blood was there, but my veins supposedly have this ability to collapse/close up when a needle appears, which you can imagine, is frustrating as hell. It could also be potentially kidney related, what with the microvascular system being very closely related to kidney health and function... so the best and only thing that can be done is to wait till the afternoon for bloods at my surgery and also to drink wayyyyy too much. (Also, my blood is far too thick for a solid 3-4 hours after waking up, which with small veins, is a problem).

Anyway, they got the blood. I was happy. I have not felt this good in a while. And hopefully, its the last of the needing bloods for at least a month and half, well, June sometime, whenever my next renal appt is. I won't lie, I crashed for four hours, so maybe the onslaught on my veins does actually make me feel not okay even if I don't mind the blood tests themselves... but either way, it is blood damn well done, finally (lol). 

So yeah, emotional roller coaster. Thank God for my mental health calendar, the fact the coop in BBH had one box of my fave monster and well, my anti-depressants. I do feel like I could have been so much worse, but lately, I seem to have this uncanny ability to bounce back after a few hours, which I never used to be able to do. It makes me wonder if it is because I am not at work and stressed out therefore I am actually focusing more on myself and my needs and well, learning about how I work, I don't know. I feel like yesterday should have broken me and if I am honest, if they hadn't got the blood out today, I think that probably would have broken me as well, but it all worked out in the end so thank God we didn't have to wait and find out if I was gonna freak out. Either way, I still think this is the best my mental health and diabetes has been for years. Maybe I am meant to be an at home kind of work person? I don't really know.

It's given me stuff to think about anyway.

Before I sign off, I want to show you a ring that my amazing keyworking other half got for me cause of, well, all the stuff going on at the moment. 

"Keep (fucking) going."

Never have truer words been said.

That is it from me tonight! Time to share the heck out of this blog and get that view count up again!!! One day I will get adsense on this account, ONE DAY!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0059]] Day 49 of Self-Isolation (It's a diabetes post today!)

Day 49 (I still don't know when this will be over)

So, I figured I would make this post more diabetes related, as I have not spoken about the main reason I set up this blog, for the longest of time (T1D looks like me) and figured it was time to pay a little more focus to that for a change, instead of writing about keeping myself sane throughout this pandemic.

For all intents and purposes, I look like I am doing well and if I am honest, I do think I am doing okay. The mental health advent calendar has been working wonders, and I do get excited about what is behind those little doors. The new marvel one is also absolutely awesome and adorable and I cannot wait to find a cute little unit for each little figure (and maybe accidentally buy a Harry Potter one... maybe). 

I may not be helping out at work for reasons (my health is a living mess) but, my Skindred Support the NHS and Keyworkers tee arrived yesterday and I am loving it and I urge any of you who also want to help the NHS and whom love Skindred, to go and order one too in the link above! We actually wore them on our live stream last night and intend on wearing them again for more streaming shizzle and we have both decided that we are totally gonna rock these at the Skindred gig at the Showground in October (just waiting on our spiky sunglasses and my fluffy black coat to arrive).

But, we need to talk diabetes... because, like I always, I seem to be brushing it under yet another carpet, like I have done the vast majority of my life since being diagnosed with it. I don't mean to, but I have grown up with this mentality that everyone else's health and problems are bigger than my own and it has honestly taken me a long time to start saying no as well as cutting off the toxic and slowly, my control is getting a little better. The damage has been done though, after years of neglecting myself and focusing on family and so on, so now it's just making sure I preserve what I have left.

I won't get all down and meh about that now though... because I want to speak about things I am doing to help make my diabetic life easier.

Since last year, I have been put on more and more medication, and I have always struggled to keep on top of it... like I was fine when it was just my insulin and a single Mirtazapine each night, but then that got changed to a med I did not get along with for depression and neuropathy, so I got switched back to mirtazapine and put on a new med I had to take twice daily, so that is over twice the daily amount of tablets I had to take. Throw in the 4mg Candesartan and an antihistimine and that is it, my brain is fried and I often forget to take one or two of the meds. It's not horrendous if I miss the neuro meds or Candesartan but if I am to preserve what I have left... I need to take them and be pro-active about it, but I am just so damn forgetful.

So, last weekend, I made the decision to do something about this. I should have done it sooner, but I didn't want any connotations in regards to my age or ought so I didn't do it. I just didn't wanna seem any older then I really am and the thing I wanted to get is normally associated with old people. So I figured, if I am going to do this, I wanna do it in style... and I'd like to think I have.

What did I do?

I bought one of those tablet organisers, to put all my tablets into and well, in colour coded, Queenie fashion.

I won't lie, I was really picky with what I chose. Like, I didn't want a clear one, colourful was best, had to split the day into three instead of AM/PM or four times a day, and a case was bonus, so I could well, hide what it is... and well, it's cool.

I think this was £9 on Amazon in the end, and it was worth it because I am happy with it and I have so far remembered to take my tablets for today, amazing! And I would like to think that it doesn't make me look old... plus, rainbow... I am bi as the well, bi could be, this works for me... and all the NHS support right now, I had to (and honestly, I'm not really for clear or clinical colours these things tend to come in). The case is a bonus, but means I can just sling it in my bag when I go back to work, so practical too and shouldn't lose the little pots in my bag either. 

Yes, I arranged my tablets straight away, but eeeeee, that's Wednesday ready to go tomorrow! If you want one of these, you can find them over on this link to Amazon. 

Of course, it is early days yet, and whether I remember to order my meds so I don't run out let alone remember to get them out the pouch is well, to be seen, but, I honestly feel it is going to help me remember to take them and in doing so, will help preserve the feeling in my bad foot as well as my kidney issues.

Speaking of preserving kidney function, I have an appointment at my doctor's tomorrow for more bloods and a blood pressure test... the bloods to well, check my kidney function and the blood pressure test as mine has been running way too high for a while now, and well, kidneys and blood pressure are very much related to one another; if the blood pressure is normal, it will help in preserving my kidney function. I should get the results for them early next week either way so fingers crossed please! These tests have been nothing but bad news for me this year.

Well, that is it for my little diabetes win for today. Now to get back to being healthy, exercising more and doing what I can to be healthy and lose a bit of weight while I am stuck here.

Stay safe everyone,

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0058]] Day 45 of Self-Isolation

Day 45 (I'm still not sure the end is in sight yet, yes the peak has gone but... I just don't know anymore)

Good afternoon everyone and welcome to the self-iso diaries of a Queenie who is actually feeling somewhat sane, praise be to Jeebus. Anyway, we are on day 45 now and half way through week 7 of being at home and honestly, I think I have adjusted okay... like I know I could be feeling worse and I am not, and for that, I am grateful!

It was the last day on my Harry Potter advent isolation calendar! And it was a good day as well, just look at the lovely bandanna I got! I'm not sure what to do with it, but I may find somewhere cool in the office to hang it as I love the design!

It is honestly such a lovely print and I think it is definitely one of my favourite items from the calendar. I love the socks and deathly hallows necklace and key chain too and the cute stationary items will have a lovely home in my Harry Potter pencil cases (plus finally, a decent sized pencil sharpener, wooo!). The socks are cute as well, really like those. And of course, I am a sucker for silicon wristbands so we all know I absolutely love them. 

But yeah, that is everything I got with the calendar! Honestly, one of my best buys. I have noticed that the one for this year is up for pre-order on Merchoid and I am very tempted to get it for Christmas this year. I've said it before, that my diabetes would be better off with a geeky and no chocolate calendar for Christmas and would also help to curve the mid-morning highs I get over Xmas as well, but we shall see!

As you may be aware, I bought the calendar to help give me a boost in the morning and give me something to look forward to each time I wake up to another day at home. And you know what, bar some tiny mishaps like running out of rizla for example, my mental health has actually been pretty okay. Like, I know for fact that it could have been really up-and-down, but it's been somewhat stable which is such a relief as it reflects in my blood sugars as well. So, all-in-all, I think the calendar was a success. If you can afford to do something like this while stuck at home, do try it, it's honestly worth it. Starting your day with something to be excited about is a great way to deal with the bad things going on at the moment, it has helped me a ton!

But alas, I still don't know how long I am going to be at home... and the calendar has run out? What do I do?

Well, I mentioned in my last blog post that I was going to buy another calendar and after scouting the internet on pay day, I found the one... last years Marvel 80th Anniversary Pop Vinyl calendar! It actually arrived yesterday which I was shocked about as it was sent second class signed for and I think was posted on the 29th... but yeah, it came yesterday and not on the 4th and damn, its a hench boy! 

Eeeeeee look at it!!! I am so excited to open my first door on it tomorrow! I think door 17 is Doctor Strange but I can't remember. Either way, there are some awesome mini pop figures in here and having a new one each morning for another 24 days is going to be so much fun! I might look in to getting one of those like storage shelf cabinet thingies for them, like what gran's put thimbles in, and like hang it up... but we shall see! 

Again, I do like the look of these calendars for Christmas but they are pricey, so I may just wait till sales to find them if I can. I know there was a Fortnite one and a Harry Potter Yule Ball one, which I might get the latter if I can find it cheap anywhere as it is quite cute in itself... but that is for another 24 days time! I have a new one to play with now and I am so so so fucking excited, you have no idea! I am actually already so happy to wake up tomorrow and all the other days, it's just awesome!!!

But yeah, I am open to any other mental health ideas! And happy to share some of mine as well! The advent calendar is one thing... but drawing is also helping me a lot as well and I have been doing it nearly every single day. So I do advise it, if you can! 

I'm also appreciating music a lot more now I have the time to as well. A lot of my fave bands have uploaded stuff to youtube or are livestreaming old lives over on youtube, which is awesome! I have watched most of MUCC's every Wednesday but I have also watched a coupld of Gackt lives and Buck Tick are showing stuff on Saturday as well! Diru did a live without an audience a few weeks ago as well. All of them have been awesome and it is so cool that they are doing this! The video for MUCC's new album is out too and I am honestly so excited to get the album when it's released, hopefully (fingers crossed). I do hope GazettE do something as well, or Hyde/Vamps but I am happy with what is available, it is so awesome! 

Other things that are helping me at the moment include Animal Crossing, seriously, it's so cute and just, I can't think of anyone who doesn't like it or play it daily. I know it keeps me chill as part of my morning routine. Which brings me on to another point... routine!!! OH man, this is so important, and I obviously miss work because it gives me routine, however, I have made my own new routine that I seem to be sticking to quite well. And I am trying to add more normal things into the routine, such as shower/bath and so on. The recent thing I have added to my routine is an hour or so work out using Just Dance Unlimited which is now an important part of my day as I figured I needed to do some kind of exercise now most of the house is sorted out. I haven't hugely gained weight since I have been at home but I have wanted to loose some for a while, so next to eating a but more healthier and now my daily exercise, I hope it contributes in some way! The other half has also ordered some scales for me too, so I can see how much I weigh once a week, see if what I am doing is helping me!

If I think of ought else, I'll be sure to post about it!

But, alas, I must go and do more art! Hoping me and the other half can live stream some more once all the graphics are complete and I am so damn excited! A streamer we know, Simply Corey, has asked for a chibi piece of her too... so fingers crossed I can finally do art commissions! 

Don't the graphics look fab on our Twitter? Haha I have loved making them and making everything match at long last! Definitely feel a lot more professional about the whole streaming thing which is awesome and I do hope that we can stream a lot of Fortnite for you this weekend!!! Watch this space, tune in to Mixer and follow it, Queen and McBooty!

Anyway, I have art to finish so... stay safe, stay home, be kind to one another and all that jazz!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0057]] Day 42 of Self Isolation

At least I think it is day 42? It has been a while and I would like to say I have been busy... well, as busy as I can be given circumstances I guess haha! The days are drifting into weeks and months and now I think I have definitely hit the limp week feeling between Christmas and New Years!

Day 42 (It is nearly the end of week 6!) 

Afternoon friendos and apologies for disappearing again alas, now that most of the tidying is done, there isn't really much to update. Like, nothing is changing or any different, the same old really is the same old each day and just yeah, bar wanting to kill my neighbours on a daily basis because they are so damn loud, I am doing alright. 

I have in all fairness, got a lot of things to distract me at the moment which is a good thing, not always, but for how the world is at the moment, distractions, I feel, are okay.

Like my advent calendar for example. It's on day 21 at the moment so it is nearly over but fear not, I selected my new one yesterday and the 80th Anniversary Marvel Pop Vinyl calendar is coming at the end of the week so that, I am super stoked about (I watched an unboxing video and saw Dr Strange in it which insta sold it to me straight away!).

The doors with the current one have been a pleasure to wake up to though, just check out the goodies over there haha! Another cute stamp for when I hope I can eventually write letters and send cards, a Ravenclaw pin (which I believe will be commandeered by my other half), another patch I'll probably stick on my office wall and my favourite, the two vinyl wristbands, of which the black one I am going to wear the heck out of because I love anything Marauder's Map!!!

Speaking of goodies, my parcel from NeoTokyo arrived yesterday as well, my second Jrock LP! And my, it is actually beautiful! (And yes, we have a vinyl player...)

LOOK AT IT!! The album is fab on it's own but as an LP, it's stunning. I am actually in love. I think I am going to move the vinyl player into my office for a bit the next couple of days so I can listen to some good old vinyl magic whilst the other half is at work! It also looks bloody fantastic next to my Dir en Grey LP as well... and I do hope Ganshin keep producing these LPs for awesome Jrock stuff cos omg, I am such a sucker for things like this.

I may not be seeing MUCC this year, maybe next year, but at least this and there little TV youtube spot partially makes up for it! (Roll on tomorrow for week 6 with Yukke cos damn am excited for that new album). 

I actually bought myself something to help me exercise as well. I have been thinking about this for while because I struggle to get motivated to exercise, but I do game everyday. I also used to love games like Just Dance and stuff and I know I can work up a sweat playing them, so I figured I'd get the new one for Switch and it came today, just in time for week 7 of lockdown and 7 is a good number for me. It's a positive change that I do hope will help me out... plus I used to dance a lot when I was younger anyway and I was much fitter back then. SO here we go! I hope it works. Gonna exercise slow in the beginning cos don't want to overdo my poor heart and its hypertension but hoping to ease into a good hour work out five days a week which I hope is enough for me to get a little bit healthier, what with the healthier meals that I have been eating of late too. After all, I am getting old now so... kinda need to put some extra effort in! Plus, saw a couple of Kpop songs on here too, like 2NE1 and others, and I can get a free month membership to unlimited which I may abuse for songs I like haha!!! So who knows, maybe in the next five weeks, I might start looking a bit more like I want to! Or at least feeling a bit healthier in myself.

I have ordered a couple of other things... well, the NHS Skindred tees because... well... it just had to be done. I ordered a massive one so I can wear it like a dress with my future Benji Webb coat and shades. I cannot wait till October to see them here on my home turf again! Love Skindred so damn much. I'm looking into finding a cool fluffy black coat as well as the spikey shades which I have found on ebay and now that MCR is postponed till next year, gives me a lil more freedom to get a few more bits I wouldn't normally be able to get.

I have decided, since talking to the other half, that I am going to try and reach out to our neighbours next door to our neighbours as they have been having problems too with well, the bad neighbours. We've both contacted the landlord and it has done nothing, so we suspect dodgy letting. Can we get the police out on that? Either way, the lady who is also having problems also suffers with mental health stuff so I can completely relate to her at this moment in time as I don't like living every damn day next door to rude arseholes. So, watch this space for the updates on that. I am not sure how I can help but I will try because I know I am definitely suffering with their bull crap.

I guess, I am going to go back to the drawing grind now, which is why I am writing this post in the afternoon and another reason why I am not posting as much. Got a big project under way for streaming channel stuff, so be sure to check out my art page for updates as and when they happen, Aluria Arts. 

You can check out this blog post for links to other digital work I have done too Pokemon Art Work Here! MY skills are increasing each and everyday so fingers crossed commissions can be opened up digitally soon to help pay off the laptop and buy new art things... so as per usual, watch this space!

Anyway, time to art!

Over and out, mes amigos.

[[0056]] Day 37 of Self-Isolation

Radio silence keeps creeping in. I am so sorry friends, but its okay, I am still here, just had nothing to really write home about haha!

Day 37 {And we are in to week 6... I think... I am kinda loosing count).

Afternoon!

I will first say, as stated in the above mini thing, I am so sorry for the radio silence! But honestly, I have not done a huge amount since Sunday other than arting, Animal Crossing and loafing around in my PJs whilst ignoring my mental health. Oh well, shit happens. I am taking it one step at a time slowly to get through the mental health jargon (I talk about mental health on this diary post, be sure to check it out!) 

So, today, I had a bath (in the middle of the day no less, oh my!) and I have actually put clothes on, and I intend on trying to do this the next few days, more specifically, after I have had my breakfast (which means I also plan on making sure I am up no later than 9am). I was going to make more of an effort today and do some kind of goth Slytherin pride aesthetic, but I forgot I chucked loads of  black shirts and I am too fat for the other half's shirts so Miyavi merch it is. Either way, I am glad the red is holding in my hair at least! And it still looks vibrant considering I redyed it before my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Gonna try and style or at least look after my hair as one of my mental health baby steps, but also make sure I remember to clean my teeth as soon as I remember too as well as remember to take my tablets in the morning, cos I keep forgetting. And if I ain't in the mood for nice clothes, big hoodies and gig merch is also okay. 

I've also been super busy arting whilst I have been off, but this time, I have been doing some traditional work!

I am going to be sliding back into some digital work now this piece is done (check these links to view previous arts Rillaboom and Espeon, Lugia and Marshadow). But, I don't ever want digital art to take away from traditional, I just want it to be a new skills I have acquired which will be beneficial for graphics and quick commissions; traditional art is always going to be my home, no matter how expensive the materials are or how much the pressure from shading makes my hand and wrist hurt. This Eeveelution piece has taken me WAY too long, but I am glad it is finally complete. And for once, I like more things about it than hate, such as cute derpy Eevee and Sylveon's colouration, as well as Umbreon and Vaporeon... all in all, it was a damn fun piece to do! It has actually given me an idea for a rainbow piece I want to do with Eeveelutions, cos I wanted to stick this in the window so people could see it and be happy but I don't want the sunlight to ruin it. Before I round off this art post, be sure to check out my art page on facebook, Aluria Arts).  

OH YEAH, I have seen my friends... don't worry, we social distanced! They have a wall and we stand on one side and talk to them in their doorway and we have a chilled smoke together and a chat, and you know what, I kinda live for those days... cos it means I get out and I see people and it... it just makes everything feel better. That being said, said friends are honestly absolute LIFE SAVERS. Not only did they help me out with unsalted butter for baking blondies last week, but they dropped me some rizla yesterday as the other half took the box he bought to work and after I rescued their parcel from porch bandits, I asked if they could grab me some zero sugar energy drink cos the other half forgot, and they got me a sexy bottle and FINALLY, the other half didn't leave me enough bacci for today (which could have made me enter the now aptly named hell zone) but it's okay, cos friends saved the day! And just... this would all be so much harder if we didn't know such amazing people. Love you guys ❤️❤️❤️

Speaking of friends, my cat has left me for trash pile in the sun. I don't blame her, the weather is lovely, but seriously... cat... why? That is rubbish for the skip you silly moose and it will not be there forever (even though it feels like it at the moment!) At least I can guarantee she will have her happy tower of crap for another couple of weeks, if not longer haha. It's the fact she also has her own tunnel to get to the bottom of the garden as well as a climbing tower and a bloody box to sleep in at the top. She is honestly living the trash queen dream. Silly kitty. 

But yeah, she now ignores me cos she has the new love in her life. Until it gets cold at night, then she will come in and not leave me alone. 

Lastly, the Harry Potter advent calendar for mental health. Again, I cannot stress enough how much I love opening this in the mornings when things seem gloomy. We are reaching the end now though, well, about just over a week left, so I need to look into buying a new one for the remainder of time I am stuck indoors, maybe the pop figure one... hmmm...

Anyway, I have loved the little gifts for each day recently! Some cute lil pencils and a pencil sharpener and I already have a pencil case waiting for them, but also this cute Gryffindor pin (for when I am not feeling all Slytherin pride as I do atm) and a deathly hallows keyring which is going straight onto one of my bags cos I am a sucker for keyrings of any kind... and my Harry Potter bag has quite the collection. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Well, that is it. Like I said, not much is going on. I am just taking each day as it comes and I try to do some kind of activity each day. I think dance exercise might be next... need to speak to the other half about getting Just Dance for the Switch, so we shall see what happens.

Stay safe friends, stay healthy, stay happy!

Over and out, mes amigos!

[[0055]] Day 33 of Self Isolation

Oops, I missed a day. This is what I get for arting my ass off but OMG I have missed it!!! Oh and no idea what is going on in the world right now either. No fucks give, totally.

Day 33 (I can't believe I broke the chain at the one month mark!)

Okay, hey friends. 

I must apologise for not doing my day-to-day blog yesterday... I was arting till about 2:30am in the morning and I just did not have the energy to look at the screen any longer so figured I would do a two for one today instead.

Where to start... where to start...

I guess I'll start with the advent calendar doors, especially yesterdays because ho damn I am gonna use it so much! 

SO, yesterdays door was this cute deathly hallows necklace and I am honestly gonna wear the heck out of it. I am such a sucker for geeky jewellery so this pleases me on so many levels. Today's door 12 had the other half of the temp house tattoos which I now think I might blu tac to the office wall because I love the designs so much!!!

I noticed merchoid have pre-orders up for this years calendar and I am rather tempted to get it for myself for Christmas this year as I absolutely LOVE this one!!! Cannot wait to see what I get tomorrow!

TBH tomorrow is a better day already anyway, as I am only in the house all day on my own for four days and not five, as the other half managed to book an annual leave day for tomorrow so we can has long weekend together. No idea what we are gonna do, prob play games and drink energy drink, but I am totally cool with that!!! 

If I am honest, today and yesterday have kinda blurred into one as I have essentially done the same stuff today as yesterday, although today had some improvements by the wonderful form of LEGO! AHhhhh I love lego so much and I have been saying for ages that I wanted some lego to play with, so the other half picker me up some Harry Potter lego which was selling cheap at B&M yesterday and I made it this morning. It's also the scene from Goblet of Fire when Voldy comes back and it is honestly just the best thing. Might have to go back to B&M after this is all over or whilst it still has stock, and pick up some more when paid... cos seriously, geeky Lego is best Lego and just, I love Lego so much. Although now that I think about it, I didn't have cookies, a juice box or wear a onesie whilst I made it... I need to rectify this and get some more, obvs.

Besides that, all I have really been doing, bar finally putting our washing away this morning and putting fresh bedding on, is arting on the tablet. I love it, and can honestly just spend hours amusing and distracting myself on there while I use it. 

Here is what I made:

The top one I made for my friend Stu at work, and it's his fave Pokemon, Rillaboom. OMG I think 60 layers went into that beasty boy but it was worth it. The Espeon on did for day for my friend at work and Stu's wife, Nicola, who loves Espeon and it seemed only fair they both got one each! That piece is a little smaller hence quicker to do and although my background skills are still meh, I love it a lot... prob cos I had to look at a bunch of cat references to make sure I got the pose right haha

I am back to traditional art again tomorrow/Tuesday as I need to finish my friends Eeveelution commission which I have been putting off for ages. It'll be good for me to do though, so it reminds me of what I am capable of with traditional materials.

I have also been debating potentially doing little cheap digital commissions to help raise pennies to go towards the monthly pay back of the laptop, and it'll keep me busy and earning whilst I am home as well. I might think on this some more next week and see what happens.

Anyway, I am pooped and wanna play me some games cos I have kinda been neglecting games lately. Plus I have an adorable new animal coming to my Animal Crossing game, so I need to spend some more time shifting things about and so on... get that island up to 5 stars!

So, stay safe everyone, love you all!

Over and out, mes amigos.