[[0044]] Day 21 of Self-Isolation

My mental health treat arrived today!!! Just in time for the start of week 4 of isolation tomorrow.

Day 21 (Things are okay. And sometimes, okay is good).

Hello everyone!!! I hope you are all well and doing your best to stay strong, but, as a friend said to me this weekend, it is okay to not be okay... and truer words have never been said. 

Speaking of mental health, my parcel arrived today!!! You may have seen me mention in previous posts that I had ordered myself a little something to give me something to look forward to each day I am stuck inside. I wish I had done this sooner mind you, alas, waiting for payday, had to decide if I was going to do it... but in the end I did, and it arrived in time for the start of my fourth week at home!!! 

Yup, it's a Harry Potter advent calendar!!! 

Haha yes yes, call me crazy but, I am genuinely so stoked about waking up each new morning stuck inside, knowing I'll get a cute Harry Potter treat each day! It's really cool, comes with cute accessories and bits and bobs, like washi tape, socks and so on... either way, I am so excited for tomorrow morning!!!

Plus, look at the size of door number 1!!! Haha, hoping for something goooooood, which as you can see from the pictures, there is some fab stuff in there.

I was debating about this last year actually, about getting an advent calendar for Christmas that was not chocolate but instead something like this, like the Lego or Pop Vinyl figure ones, but then I never get round to it or I run out of cash and end up with a cheapo choc one. I am soooo going to plan ahead and get my hands on something similar again, plus, it means two less units of insulin in the morning when I open a door and should help curb some of the random blood sugar levels I get over the Christmas period. 

Speaking of bloods, I have finally somewhat tackled my insulin and carb ratios. I think I'm a unit for every 9g of carbs, which makes the maths annoying but, a unit for 10g isn't quite enough. Either way, bar the 13 I woke up with early on this morning, I have managed to keep my bloods below 10 all bloody day and it is so exciting and good to see! I have slowly been starting to have more and more days of this since I have been off from work, and I honestly think it is because I am doing everything I can to keep my mental health okay, but also because having more time on my hands is helping me in the prep of my meals and working out the amount of carbs I am having and so on. I have started to do a couple of units before some of my snacks as well, which I am still ironing out the kinks with, but... it's a step closer to where I need to be with my diabetes, and it is so bloody fantastic!

I'm hoping I can have bloods this good, if not better, tomorrow, but I am learning not to berate myself each time things cock up. If things were bad, I would binge eat and say fuck it to my bloods and end up burning out, but, with how I am thinking and acting now, is actually proving to be hugely beneficial to me. I can also feel my moods somewhat stabilising, more so when I have a day like this with bloods in range. For example, I dropped my rizla earlier full of baccy and my filter and I could feel that I wanted to snap, but I stepped back, breathed and then picked it all up and I felt okay. I have never really every felt this in control of myself before. I love it and it is so nice and I hope I can keep it up... but it's okay if I can't, there is always a couple of hours to try and fix things and if not, then there is always tomorrow!!!

Before I go, I wanted to leave you a picture of another healthy dinner I made today!!! Jacket potato with spicy no sugar beans, salad and chicken nugs (the packet needed finishing and I have not had chicken for a little while).

I am trying to do fixed carbs and novarapid fast acting insulin and carbs cannot always be fixed, but all of my meals today have been either 62g of carbs or less which means, 6 units of insulin, however, I think I am going to opt to try 7 units if I have about 60g of carbs. I say fixed, my morning breakfast tends to be between 40-55g of carb,  it can really vary depending on what I am having (I have to vary my breakfast so I actually eat it and don't get bored and stop well, eating it). But I think I have said before that I have to do about 2 units extra insulin in the mornings because of the morning dump of hormones and what have you, so to stop lunch bloods being high, extra insulin has been helping with that a lot. Some of my best blood results are now my lunch time and dinner ones, which is so exciting to see at last! Again, I don't know if being at work and work stress is helping contribute to the higher lunch bloods, but I guess I will figure that one out when I go  back to work, whenever that is. 

Speaking of work, supposedly another batch of letters is being sent out today, and now I am wondering if I will finally be included. Supposedly this batch is for people on the extremely vulnerable list but also those who their doctors or clinicians have put forward whom don't have conditions on the list. Which is cool, but I am still new with the renal and diabetes team and my doctors are having nothing to do with Covid, and even though the receptionist for my surgery said I should be getting one due to being type 1 with complications, I don't think any of my medical professions are gonna put me forward, which is frustrating, because I need to be off, but I can't even speak to my doctor about it so what do I do? I'm hoping some answers come out soon, but, I ain't hoping for much because looking in the groups I am on and the people who have received texts from the government, some type 1's with complications have a letter, some don't, some type 1's with no complications have letters, some that do haven't. So I don't really know where I stand still.

But it is late now and that is a problem for tomorrow.

Stay safe everyone and make sure you look after yourself (physically and mentally) before you look after anyone else.

Over and out, mes amigos.